Forever and Almost Always
by heartsmash
Summary: He faltered for an rebuttal and she put the final nail in the coffin. "The answer is you can't. And I won't. I'm not built to be the girlfriend of a ghost." P/R future fic, Rachel and Puck take different paths that are intertwined from start to finish
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Story is named for the song by the same title by Kate Voegele. This is just the prologue and this will be my next story after I finish "Red Meets Blue." The idea came from my cousin who served in Iraq about two years ago and the havoc it caused in his marriage.

* * *

**PROLOGUE**

_October 2017_

He should be used to this. After all, traveling in a plane is basically part of the job description. But somehow, this feels different.

It didn't take long for the plane to descend into the airport and the passengers to shuffle off the plane. With his duffle slung over his shoulder, he walked up the ramp into the arrivals area of Port Columbus International Airport, following the signs for baggage claim.

Taking the escalator down into the baggage claim area, he couldn't help but feel like the air was charged with electricity. His eyes scanned the crowd searching for the brown eyes that had reminded him that there was life back home and the megawatt smile that tempered the sting of nights alone.

As he stepped off the escalator, it didn't take long for him to spot her tiny form jogging towards him, her long brown hair flowing behind her and smile so wide it would've have taken someone a lot stronger to not mimic the expression. He knew he just couldn't wait to tangle his hands in that hair or claim those lips with his own.

She felt the sting of tears in her eyes. He was home. She flew across the crowded baggage area and launched herself at him. Puck dropped his bag just in time and caught her with a chuckle, holding her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Fuck Berry, you would think you missed me or something."

Following her instincts, and not to mention her desire, she ignored his teasing and pressed her lips to his. He didn't have to be told twice to participate. Puck's hands quickly tangled in Rachel's hair and her hands framed his face, memorizing the feel of his warm skin once again.

In that moment, he's perfectly content right where he is – even if it was in the busy airport. With Rachel in his arms, inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume and reacquainting with the feel of her in his arms, nothing could be more perfect. He doesn't ever want to stop kissing her. Damn, seven whole months without her mouth had been tortuous.

It wasn't until Puck could feel eyes and whispers at their antics that he broke apart from her. He eased her body down his until her feet hit the floor.

That didn't mean she was ready to stop touching him, keeping a physical reassurance on the fact that he was here and it was not a hallucination. Her hands splayed over his broad chest, fingertips touching the camouflage fabric that he knew that he took pride in wearing but which kept them separated for so many months of the year.

"I honestly can't believe you're here. You said you would."

"I can't make a lot of promises babe, but when I do I plan on keeping them."

She smiled hugely and he kissed her forehead. You might think that his being in the US Army would have made him more of a bad ass and you might be right. But around this girl (his girl), he was putty.

Grabbing his bag off the floor, he took her hand and she leaned against his arm as they headed out the automatic door and into the cool September night air of Ohio. He looked for her little white Prius but came up empty. It wasn't until they were standing in front of his truck that she was able to explain herself.

"Finn drove it here, Mike took him back to his house. You've got good friends."

She held out the keys and he grabbed them. Sure, he had driven the military humvee from time to time, but there was something about being behind the wheel of his old truck that made him smile.

The nearly two-hour drive to Lima was spent with her telling him about recent developments. In the past, to hear her talk so much might have driven him crazy but he relished in hearing her voice, looking over to see her hand gestures and loving every time she giggled.

The army was good about setting up computers with Skype access but it was terrible to have the next guy in your outfit basically breathing down your next for his shot at talking to his loved ones. He and Rachel had had conversations as frequently as he was able – of course, he couldn't give her very many details about where he was or what he was doing but he knew for her to see him alive and well kept her worry dialed down.

As they approached the exit for Lima, he took her hand and gave it a kiss.

Damn, it was good to be home.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: As Red Meets Blue is winding down, I figured I would update this story. It's going to span a number of years for the couple and definitely won't be all sunshine and roses but what is the fun in that? This chapter is rated M for activities, so if you shouldn't be reading it, don't.

**Chapter Two**

As September approached after their senior year of high school and he found himself with no plans for college, Puck started to really examine what his options were. He was in Rachel's bedroom as she packed up some of her belongings for her freshman year at NYU when he brought up the military. Giving the military four years now meant that later they could pay for school when he had figured out life a little bit.

"It's an honorable path Noah but I would worry for your safety. It's not like you join to play hopscotch with whomever we're fighting."

"Hopscotch?" he questioned with a snort but kissed her cheek when she feigned hurt over his teasing. "Babe, I'm not going to join with a death wish. I've got too much to come back to."

And that's where it started. At first, it was the four-year commitment. But at the chance to stay and continue and move into Special Forces, he had gone with it. He knew Rachel had moved into an apartment and she was working a ton of hours at a dance studio to pay for life in New York, waiting for the big break.

But now she was off Broadway and he was still deployed but their relationship strangely worked.

He pulled up to her father's house and killed the engine, ready to say goodnight to her and drive over to his mother's house. He had been traveling for the better part of two days and he needed some sleep and a shower, not necessarily in that order.

"Do you want to stay? Dad and Daddy aren't home. They went to Cincinnati for a gallery opening."

"Do I need to answer that?" he asked with a trademark smirk.

She giggled and any tiredness he felt was suddenly replaced by the insane desire that he possessed for this woman. They went up the path to her front door and got inside. Nothing had really changed since the last time he had been in the Berry household. Closing the door behind them, Rachel didn't waste time and led him up the stairs to her bedroom. Dropping his duffle on the plush carpeting and toeing off his boots, he acquainted himself with the dim lighted room. Gone were a majority of the decorations he remembered from the years at McKinley, most of them having taken up residence in her apartment in Manhattan.

She leaned up against the now closed door and called his name softly. Decidedly, he closed the gap between them with two large strides and cupped her face in his hands as her fingers made quick work of camouflage jacket that was apart of his uniform. Before pushing it off his broad shoulders, she stood on tiptoe to kiss the patch that had his last name embroidered on it.

Rachel took his hands and intertwining their fingers, she led him to the bed. She knelt at the edge of the bed so that they were eye-level.

"You're such a midget," he teased and she claimed his lips against in protest of his mocking. Rachel takes his bottom lip in between her teeth and bites gently before letting go. "Careful Berry," he warns running his hands over her hips, squeezing them gently

Continuing with her earlier task, she got him to raise him arms so she could remove the tan t-shirt. Quite pleased with the results, Rachel flung the offending garment to the floor before placing feather light kisses over his tan chest and abdomen. Not to leave the only one on the path to being undressed, she removed her own t-shirt, leaving her kneeling in her bra and the tight denim of her jeans.

Her questioning hands wanted to search the Adonis that was Noah Puckerman – there had been too many lonely nights trying to remember how this felt and the only the real thing would suffice. The tips of her fingers grazed a path over his smooth skin and strong body. The touch was light and it made him nearly shiver.

He leaned his forehead against hers, his hazel eyes searching her chocolate pools questioning that this is what she wanted, that he wasn't rushing her into something that she wasn't ready for since it was his first night back. Truthfully, he hoped she wouldn't say no because he needed her but he was not (and never was) one to push. Rachel ran her hands over his muscular bicep and squeezed lightly instructing him to continue.

His hands, strong but tender, encircled her neck and he went to work on branding her as his own. The sounds that were escaping her sent shockwaves to his already painful hard on but he smiled against her skin at his ability to make her sound like that. Satisfied that tomorrow Rachel would have a hickey (despite the bitching he would receive, whatever he didn't care – people should know she was spoken for), he returned to reclaim her lips.

His left hand slid down the smooth skin of her side, resting on the gorgeous curve of her back. He surprised her by quickly lowering her body to the bed covers, his body ready to worship hers.

Puck took his place over her, making himself comfortable between her parted legs. He let out a soft groan as his body met hers. Sure there was still clothes separating them, but that didn't help anything. He could still feel her pulsating heat.

Rachel smiled into their kiss. Having Puck above her moaning sent shock waves of pleasure to her already hot center. She wanted him so bad, she knew that he could feel it.

Puck released her lips and kissed his way to her pulse point. As his lips lay stay where her blood pumped, her pulse quickened and she sighed impatiently until his lips surrounded her pulse point and lavished it with attention, causing her to let out a moan of her own.

Rachel tasted amazing – a combination of Dior J'adore and her favorite vanilla body lotion. With one hand, he was able to release the front clasp of her black lace bra. He helped her remove the offending fabric, dropping the piece of clothing over the side of the bed. Puck took in the sight before him - she lay there exposed, beautiful…Rachel.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered, looking her in the eye before gently taking one of her breasts into his hand and kneading it, causing yet another antagonizing moan to escape her beautiful lips. His calloused thumb swiped over the nipple twice and she arched into his artful hand. Puck brought his mouth to her breast and suckled her nipple before teasing it with his tongue. Rachel moved her hands to his head, encouraging him further as he switched to the other breast, giving it the same treatment.

Seven months apart and he had not forgotten what drove her wild. After all, righty could only get him off in the showers while thinking of Rachel's throaty moans, perfect pink pout… shit, if he didn't get his head back in the game, this evening would be over a lot quicker than he anticipated.

All too soon, he abandoned both breasts, ignoring her cries of protest, and kissed across her abdomen, his tongue dipping into her belly button making her giggle. Puck came to the edge of her jeans and unbuttoned the offending piece of clothing, pulling them down her legs. He kissed where the denim had left angry marks on her skin causing her to sigh contentedly. With only a pair of black lace boy shorts in his way, he rid her of them quickly. He placed her legs on his shoulders and kissed the inside of each thigh before tenderly caressing her center with his mouth. It was feather light and it frustrated Rachel beyond belief. As though he knew just how far to push her, Puck kissed her again, with more pressure, before darting his tongue out to touch her aching clit, making her arch off the bed.

"Oh God, Noah!" she cried

It took everything in Puck's power not to explode the second he heard her moan his name in that way, so intensely filled with need. The way she called out to him sent shivers down his spine. Puck continued his ministrations and in no time, Rachel was writhing and babbling incoherently as she was wracked with a powerful orgasm.

Rachel slowly opened her eyes, still feeling the aftershocks of her orgasm. It was amazing, he was amazing.

He kissed the inside of her thighs again, with a gorgeous smirk that read, "I did good huh?" She couldn't even verbalize how good he had done so instead she decided to show him. She kissed him and could taste herself on his tongue which as much more sensual that she could have ever imagined.

She wanted to give him the same pleasure he'd just given her. She slowly raised her hands to his waist and unbuttoned and unzipped his the final part of his uniform, before pushing them down. Puck aided the process by removing them completely leaving Rachel to admire his choice of black boxer briefs.

She stroked him through the material, watching his expression, the way his breathing became increasingly staggered, and how he grasped at the comforter balling it up in his fists. After a few minutes, she slipped her hand inside his briefs and felt his naked skin against her hand. She helped removed the last piece of his clothing before reaching to take him in her hand again. As she moved her hand and down from base to tip, she placed light kisses on his abdomen.

"Rachel… feels so good," Puck moaned as he panted for air, "You've got to stop though."

She stopped unsure if she had something wrong or if she had hurt him. It had been awhile since they had last done this.

"What's wrong? Did I…"she asked

"No, no," Puck stopped her, kissing her to quell her uncertainty, "I just want to be inside you when I…"

She nodded understanding what he meant. Puck retrieved a condom from the drawer of her bedside table while she pulled the covers of the bed down, getting underneath the caramel colored sheets. Puck took the condom and tore it open, rolling the latex down his shaft. He got under the covers with her, and gently eased her thighs farther apart before getting into position on top of her. Resting his weight on his forearms, which were placed on either side of her, he kissed her again. Never breaking eye contact, Puck lowered himself into her. He couldn't help the loud moan that escaped his lips as he delved into her.

Rachel, who had her arms wrapped around Puck' neck closed her eyes and tightened her grip on him as he slowly entered her. 213 days that were made up of 5,113 hours and an unthinkable amount of minutes – that's how long she had waited for him to be with her exactly like this, for him to heal the ache in her heart and to make her feel this complete. And he felt so good.

After giving her a minute to adjust, Puck slowly withdrew from only to thrust himself into her again. Taking the time to once again familiarize himself with her and find a rhythm they both enjoyed he repeated the motion over and over, loving the feel of Rachel around him. With each thrust he buried himself deeper in her and loved the throaty moans that he garnered from her in response and the way she hooked her legs around his thighs. There wasn't anything he wouldn't give up to make this feeling last forever and he'd bet anything she felt the same way.

Rachel dug her nails into Puck's back, the feeling of him moving inside her, so delicious it was beyond words. She lifted her head from the pillow and captured his lips with her own, needing to feel his lips. Both felt their releases nearing as this was the first time in so long that they had been intimate. Rachel broke the kiss and she moved against him a few more times, before the waves of her orgasm hit her with a great deal of force and she cried out his name to punctuate it.

There was no use denying how wonderful Noah Puckerman made her feel. Hearing Rachel call out his name was incredible and he thrust one more time before he too was hit with his climax. Puck dropped his head into the crook of her shoulder, needing a minute to regain his wherewithal. Still needing a minute, he kissed her collarbone and whispered how lucky he was, nipping at her earlobe playfully. She smiled broadly, capturing his lips in another kiss.

Puck got up and discarded of the condom before returning to the bed. He opened his arm, inviting her to snuggle close to him. Rachel smile as she wrapped her around his waist and lowered her head into his chest. Noah's heartbeat once again lulled Rachel into a quiet reverie. Puck closed his eyes, content to grab some sleep before having Rachel again but it was the sound of a small sniffle and the feel of tears on his bare chest that made his heart constrict. 'Shit, don't cry,' he thought as he mentally checked to see if he had done anything wrong in the past few hours since their reunion in the airport. Not able to think of anything, he questioned the tears.

"Rach…what's wrong?"

"I'm just so happy your home."

"And you're crying because of it? Doesn't exactly fuckin' spell happiness to me."

Looking up at him, he wiped away her tears and willed those brown eyes to not look so sad. Like he said, putty.

"I know it's not easy… being with me … it never has been. But especially when I'm not here with you, I know it fucking sucks. I just…I hope you know that I would change that if I could."

"I know. I just get so worried about you."

Worried about him? Shit, at least he had a gun to defend himself where he was. She was in New York, one of the crime capitals of the country, with only a fucking rape whistle and a small bottle of mace that he forced her to carry on her keychain. She only left the city to visit her fathers and for special occasions such as this week and honestly, the thought of her being so cut off from everyone kept his stomach in knots.

"When we don't get to speak for a few days, I immediately go to this place of thinking that something has happened and I won't be alerted. I have to stop myself from calling your mother because I know that it would only make her upset."

His mother had supported his decision to join the military as much as any mother could. She worried for his safety, sent care packages often and encouraged him to finish out honorably as soon as he could.

Puck didn't know what else to say to Rachel. It seemed to be that they went around the same old circular track every time he came home. Which wasn't that often but the same old scenes seemed to play out. He didn't know how to get her out of this funk of thinking that he was playing Rambo out there and was looking to get a bullet between the eyes.

So he did the best thing he knew how, he kissed her gently and rubbed small circles on her bare back until her breathing was deep and even.

* * *

The central reason for his time off came on his second full day home. It was the rehearsal dinner of Quinn Fabray and Finn Hudson, their wedding to be held the following day. The power couple had repowered up after their freshman year at OSU Cincinnati and three years later, they were still going strong and headed for a lifetime together

Puck was Finn's best man, after a long rebuild to being best friends, it felt right. Mr. Schuester (he insisted that they all call him Will but to Puck that still felt weird) and Mike Chang rounded out the groomsmen. What was surprising was Rachel as Quinn's maid of honor. The two girls didn't see eye to eye in high school but come graduation they had slowly become extremely close. Puck guessed that with him overseas and him being best friends with Finn, the unlikely friendship had formed. With her sister, Jill, eight months pregnant and refusing to be stuffed into a bridesmaid dress, Quinn had asked Rachel to be her maid of honor with Mercedes and her freshman college roommate Mara as her half of the wedding party.

The rehearsal went off without a hitch much to the relief of the bride. Quinn's niece, Sammie, did a wonderful job practicing her reading as did Kurt, who was now Finn's step-brother after the Hudson and Hummel families had joined forces. Now everyone sat in the back room at Breadstix, a restaurant that held so many memories for everyone to hold their rehearsal dinner in. After everyone had ordered and wine had been poured, Carole tapped her glass gently with her knife. Everyone's attention went to her and she stood to give a toast. She pulled out a small piece of paper from her purse and began to read.

"David Viscott once said 'To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.' I truly believe that when I see my son and Quinn together. And although I know that it was tough to lose each other for awhile, this second chance is one to be cherished because Quinn and Finn have once again found their way back to one another and rightfully so," Carole said glancing at her son and his bride to be. "Today, I look at my future daughter-in-law and I see an independent, attractive, smart, stunning young woman. I know will take very good care of my honest, loving son. My final job as mother of the groom is to propose a toast to this happy couple that sits before us. I do with this with a tremendous amount of pride. So ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses to Quinn and Finn and join me in wish them a long life with continuous good health, success in all they do and may the happiness that they have already shared continue forever. To Quinn and Finn."

A chorus of "to Quinn and Finn" followed as everyone held a glass up to them in celebration.

Quinn and Finn each gave their short toasts to those gathered for the rehearsal dinner, thanking them for their help in getting to this point and recounting how excited they were for the next day.

Puck joined his best friend at the bar after dinner was finished and clapped him on the back in congratulations. Finn glanced at Quinn and thanked him.

"Did you ever think we'd grow up and get this lucky?"

Puck glanced at Rachel, who stood across the room, talking animatedly with Finn's mother. Truth was, he is lucky. Rachel believed he was fulfilling his potential and he was lucky that he had her to support him for so long. Puck wondered darkly when his luck would run out. He had to make a decision soon about his continued contract with the army and that would undoubtedly spark a disagreement between the two of them. But there was no sense in allowing Finn to see the tiny fissures in his relationship with Rachel. Particularly not on a night when they were celebrating his friend's impending nuptials as it would bring down the mood and Finn would demand a heart to heart in the middle of the bar. Definitely not cool.

"No dude," he agreed, "We definitely beat the odds when it comes to those women we've got. And, bro you're getting married."

"It seems crazy but it doesn't feel that way. It feels…right."

Puck took a sip of the beer that sat in front of him.

"When are you going to take the next step with Rachel? Now there's a girl that will put a wedding dress to shame."

"Dude, you had a shot.," Puck responded with a laugh. "But I figure I gotta be living in the same country first before I can take that next step."

Finn nodded his agreement. Marriage, commitment. Things that he knew Rachel expected but which he didn't know when they would happen. It all depended on what play she took on and what he decided about the next two years.

* * *

Rachel helped Quinn with the tiny pearl buttons on the back of the dress as they stood in St. Catherine's, getting ready for the ceremony.

"You really did not make this easy on Finn did you Quinn?" Rachel asked as she finally got the final button through its rightful hole.

The four women laughed loudly. The dress was gorgeous – white taffeta with a drop waist that flowed effortlessly into a mermaid silhouette – and Quinn absolutely glowed as the final minutes to the ceremony ticked by.

"Now that you're finally dressed, we'll go check on the boys," Mara said, dragging her new friend, Mercedes with her.

Rachel picked up the fingertip length veil and gently put it on the intricate updo of blonde curls, fluffing the accessory over the bride's bare alabaster shoulders.

"You look beautiful Quinn," Rachel said earnestly.

"I can't believe I'm getting married today," Quinn responded, scrutinizing her appearance and fingering the single strand of pearls that encircled her throat.

"Someone has to be first," Rachel advised, fixing the bottom of the gown before handing her the large bouquet of pink peonies.

"I kind of thought it would be you. The way Puck looks at you…sometimes, I wonder why he hasn't dragged you to city hall and made it official."

Rachel felt the blood rush to her face. It was a constant thought of hers. Their relationship having survived four years of college and now nearly two more years past her graduating, it mystified her why they weren't living together or hell…living in the same country. She knew it had partly to do with his pride. He wanted to exit admirably, wanted to finish with his military career when the other men in his unit were also complete. But how much longer did he plan for them to be a part?

Pasting on her best award-winning smile, she took care in responding to her friend.

"We've talked about it." An utter and complete lie. "He probably just wants to make sure he has someone to complain to about the horrors of married life."

"Well, he won't have to wait too much longer," Quinn replied with a wink as Mercedes and Mara returned with news that everything was set.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: In an attempt to juggle several stories at once, I'm updating this and then **Red Meets Blue**. This story in particular will span several years and will take a bunch of turns. Thanks for reading!

**Chapter Three**

November 2018

"You didn't tell her that you were coming home?" Quinn asked incredulously as she walked with her husband of over a year and his best friend Noah Puckerman, who was on leave for the next two weeks. He had accrued his time over the last several months and it had finally paid off.

"It's called a surprise Quinn," he responded, irritated with the blonde already. She had been nagging on his plan for the better part of four blocks and it was getting old fast.

Truth be told, his request had been in limbo due to a assignment last week that left them with two guys transported to Egypt for medical attention. His staff sergeant hadn't known if he could let him go, but with things officially quiet and replacements in place, his leave was approved. So he had Finn pick him up at JFK and the three were now headed to see Rachel in her first Broadway performance of _Promises Promises_ as Fran Kubelik. She had been so excited to tell him via Skype and so awed that she was filling the shoes of Broadway legends Jill O'Hara and Kristin Chenoweth that he knew he couldn't miss it. So he timed it so he would also be home for Thanksgiving, which was awesome because Rachel made these mashed potatoes that did not compare to anyone else's and after eating what he had been out in the field, his mouth watered at the thought of them. He was working on being home for Hanukah as well because he had the time to use and the seniority but that request was still in limbo.

Finn and Quinn had moved to New York after Finn got his teaching certification and took a job at Trinity School to teach Health Education and coach the boys' basketball team for more money than he was making in Ohio. It was not difficult for Quinn to find a job at a PR firm and they had found a two bedroom apartment a few blocks over from Rachel. It eased his nerves that she finally had some friends in the city.

"I honestly don't know if I'm betting on her kissing you or smacking you," Quinn mused as they arrived at the theater and picked up the tickets that Rachel had held for them, the third a ruse, saying that Quinn's sister Jill was in town on business while Christopher was home with the kids.

"Let's cross our fingers for the first one shall we? I get shot at enough."

Finn chuckled and held the door open for his wife and friend, not willing enough to take sides.

Rachel brought the house down. If there was ever a doubt that this girl was a star, that night was her rebuttal. The three headed to the stage door to wait for her, hanging toward the back to allow die hard fans a crack at getting an autograph from the new cast of the musical. He could see her petite form come out of the door, wrapped in a long puffy coat, a gracious smile on her lips at the sight of all her fans.

After it seemed like the photos and autographs would never end, Puck began to get impatient before he developed a Plan B.

"I got a better idea," he muttered, "Hudson, got a pen?" he asked Quinn, who hated the nickname that she had acquired since marrying Finn. She sighed exasperatedly and dug into her purse. The blonde handed him a pen and watched as he walked around the crowd so that he was behind her. "Excuse me miss, can I have an autograph?" Puck asked and she turned and was posed to scribble her name across the page before she looked up and saw his face. She squealed happily and threw herself on him, happy tears finding purchase down her cheeks. The crowd awed aloud and dispersed realizing that this rising star was done with work obligations for the night.

"How are you here? I had no idea you were coming!" she said looking at Finn and Quinn who shrugged sheepishly at her. They clearly knew that she would deal with them later but for now she focused on the man in her arms.

"I was waiting to hear about my leave request. We had a few issues and I thought that I wouldn't be here. But I fucking wanted to babe because you were phenomenal up there."

The smile on her face was enough to make up for the flight completely.

* * *

Rachel sighed against his neck and pressed kisses all along his shoulder, laughing quietly in his ear when she took it gently between her teeth. Puck ran his hand down her spine and she closed her eyes, shivering at the sensation. If she wasn't the type of person to verbalize her feelings for him, her body would certainly betray her.

Her teeth nipped at his earlobe again and she soothed the bite with her tongue before settling down next to him and resting her head on his chest.

"Did I tell you that I hate surprises?"

He laughed and looked down at her, adjusting on the pillow until he could see her comfortably. She smiled up at him and pressed a kiss to his chin, idly tracing patterns across his stomach with her hand.

"I don't remember that fact," he whispered as their lips met softly, slowly. He wrapped his arm around her waist tighter, groaning sensually against her mouth when her hand slipped past his stomach and beneath the sheets.

"Mm, right," she sighed, not believing him, when they parted, adjusting until she was straddling him, hands resting lightly on his chest. "Well, you know now," she grinned and lowered her head like she was going to kiss him, her mouth hovering over his for a moment before traveling lower and trailing across his pulse point.

It quickened beneath her lips and she smiled against his skin. His hands tangled in her hair and Rachel smiled down at him, placing a chaste kiss against his mouth.

"I've been warned," he replied with a smirk, clearly intimidated by her threat.

Rachel attached her mouth to his neck. If he was going to be glib, she was going to give him a hickey to deal with for Thanksgiving. "I guess," she ran her tongue across his pulse point, "I'll just have to," and kissed his neck, "Teach you," she nipped at his collarbone, which caused him to tighten his grip on her hips, "A lesson," she breathed against the hollow of his throat.

* * *

Although things are not perfect, he's happy. He just hopes the same goes for her.

* * *

She hates to say that she had expectations of their relationship. She loves Noah, she truly does. But some of the hope that she had for their relationship dies when he's home next in December. A marriage proposal doesn't come on any of the eight nights of Hanukah, part of which they are able to celebrate with their families for the first time in three years (a perk to him having seniority) and Rachel is heartbroken over it. She doesn't let him see that she wants more than the lingerie that he bought her for the third night or the Keurig machine that he had shipped to her apartment in Manhattan on the seventh. Rachel doesn't need two carats and white gold. Anything symbolizing his thought and commitment to her would have been more than enough.

Not letting Noah know, she goes to the Hummel house the day after to see Quinn. One look at the blonde and Rachel can feel the tears break through the brave front that she had put on since yesterday.

"Quinn," she blubbers and falls into the girl's embrace. The blonde wife harnesses her maternal instincts in the moment and guides her to the couch where Rachel breaks down further, curling into the fetal position, head on former cheerleader's lap. Finn comes around the corner to see who was at the door but she sends him away because Rachel needs a moment of privacy.

"Rachel, what's wrong? And if you say nothing, I swear I will smack you since you just cried all over my Citizen jeans," Quinn teased running a hand through the brunette's hair.

Rachel trembled as the tear's slowed and she could form sentences. "Eight years and he still doesn't want to marry me," Rachel said bitterly. "Am I that awful? Is the idea of being married to me that offensive?"

"Rachel, don't say that. Puck is just not ready. And he's half way across the world 80% of the time. "

"Do you know, I used to think the same thing? I told myself that we'd get there but that light seems dimmer and dimmer. I don't know how much longer I can wait when we have not even talked about it,"

"But you said…" Quinn interrupted, distinctly remembering Rachel stating that fact on the day of her wedding.

"It was a lie to keep myself from ruining that beautiful makeup job. No sense in having puffy eyes and a red nose in your wedding photos."

"Oh honey," she said and rubbed her arm tenderly, "He'll get there. They all get there."

"Yeah…I guess they do."

Neither girl knew who was telling the bigger lie.

* * *

Shit had been super tense between them since Christmas. They had gone to Kurt's New Year's Eve party at his loft in Chicago and to the outside world, everything was great for the pair. By the end of summer, Rachel would be finishing her run in the play before taking a break and tackling a bigger Broadway fish. He was content with army life. Things were good.

Not.

There was this huge chasm between them that if he didn't know Rachel so well one wouldn't know it existed. So now, she was seeing him off at the airport and he needed some answers. She looked sad to see him go but similarly relieved which scared him shitless.

"When will you be home again?" she asked, arms crossed.

"I don't know. I'll let you know when I can take some more days," he responded. She didn't meet his eyes. Instead she examined the tile floor of the departure terminal as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. "We okay?"

He wished for a quick response of indignation. When she sighed and looked up at him with sad brown eyes he instantaneously knew – he just new that things were going to change. His gut tells him not for the better and he wants to fix it before she can say anything else but his mind is blank. Puck can't offer any words of comfort before she starts speaking again.

"Once upon a time, I told myself that I would never push you because I thought what we had went beyond normal expectations."

Fuck. Dread sits in his stomach. "And now?" he asks

"I'm pushing."

"Rachel, what does that mean?" he asks lowly, hairs on the back of his neck standing up and the faintest bit of anger running through his blood.

"Are you ever going to marry me?"

"Rachel…" he says with a sigh and his apparent irritation with her previous questions makes her erupt in anger. She knows that they are in public and that people that pass by are staring but she couldn't care less.

"No Noah…this not just a conversation that you can sweep under the rug and pretend it doesn't have consequences. I want an answer."

"Of course. Shit, do you think I would have stayed around this long if that wasn't the plan?"

"Great Noah," she laughed derisively. He knows that that is not a good happy Rachel laugh. Her laughter affects her whole body and most of the time, he can't stop himself from joining in. This laughter is only soaked with sarcasm. "Then please enlighten me, what's the big plan?"

She's putting him on the spot. He's got to be at his gate in 20 minutes and clearly she doesn't give a shit.

"Shit, Rachel. I don't know. Is that what you want to hear? I live my life day to day because not all of us have a cushy job. Some of us get shot at day in, day out."

Rachel starts to cry and he immediately wants to soothe her.

"That's the exact opposite of what I wanted to hear from you," she said swallowing, "I think we need to take some time."

"Take some time?" he repeats dumbly

"I need to get myself together. I've grown up depending on you. I need to figure out what I want."

'What does that mean?" She's quiet in thought so he repeats himself. "Rachel, what the fuck does that mean?"

"I'll still write but let's limit the video chats. Once every other week." Her decision knocked the wind out of him. All of this over a piece of paper from fucking city hall? "I'm going to go," she says and gives him the briefest, most chaste kiss on the lips.

Zero passion. After eight years, that's fucking bullshit in his book.

"Be safe," she says and leaves him alone in the airport.

* * *

_Review please?_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: Thanks for all the feedback! I wish I could tell you all that Puck and Rachel are going to stay together throughout the entire story but alas, that is not the case. The song that Puck sings to Rachel is "I Swear This Time I Mean it" by Mayday Parade.

**Chapter Four**

There's another guy in her everyday life that flirts with her and makes her feel exactly like Noah used to. His name is Owen Thompson and he's one of the investors in the revival of _Promises, Promises_. He went to Berkeley ungrad and studied at Columbia for his MBA. Owen was from old money but instead of just signing a check and expecting results, Owen actually makes time to be at the theatre, to see rehearsals and give his input. It's different than Rachel has experienced in the past but it's a welcome change.

When he finally asks her out, she stutters out that she has a boyfriend despite the yes that died in her throat. She feels like she deserves to feel desired again but can't help but feel utterly guilty.

So she heads uptown and after signing a few autographs in the principal's office, is pointed in the direction of Mr. Hudson's classroom. Rachel has to stop from laughing at the sight of teenage girls staring at her friend and ex-boyfriend in a dreamy manner, knowing full well that that is what she used to look like at 16. The door is open and charts on gestation of a baby are pulled down. She hears him launch into a story about high school and she is automatically intrigued.

"So I had this girlfriend in high school and we had a pregnancy scare. What my health teacher didn't tell me was that you couldn't get a girl pregnant while in a hot tub, when there is no intercourse." The bell rings and he lets them leave with a reminder to practice safe sex and complete their research paper on their assigned birth defects that is due on his desk next week. He catches sight of Rachel as some of the high school boys give her the eye.

"Rach!" he says excitedly, "Come in!"

"Does the school really let you tell their kids to practice safe sex?" she questioned, amused.

"The official school policy is abstinence but since I was 16 not too long ago, I level with them," Finn admits, "I tell them that abstaining is for the best but if they're not going to wait to be safe."

"I can't believe we were that young and stupid once," Rachel muses as she admires the health projects thumb tacked and stapled to the walls of his classroom.

"What makes you think we stopped?" her friend asks with that adorable half grin that reminds her why her crush was so untamable in high school.

Rachel doesn't respond to that thought but instead references back to the end of the lesson that she caught. "Thank God you didn't use Quinn's name or reference your wife, she would have killed you," Rachel says with a small smile.

"You okay? You seem a little off," he asks gently, noting that the lack of bubbly demeanor on her.

Rachel doesn't mean to cry in front of him and truthfully, she cries a lot more now than she ever thought possible in high school. She came for advice, to get a perspective on Noah that she may not already have but it's Finn noticing that she's lost that Rachel spark that breaks her façade. "Sit, sit," he says and ushers her to his desk chair, taking a seat on the edge of his desk.

Rachel sees his wedding photo and a picture of the core four at the karaoke night when Noah had a rare performance for everyone in attendance. The memory makes her sob.

"_Open mic night at The Grog tonight. You guys in?" Finn asked his friends as he kissed Quinn on the cheek and loosened his tie. The school he taught at was a private school and the uniform, even for teachers, was a bit stuffy. But the job paid well and he had stable hours which made Quinn happy. _

"_Babe?" Rachel asked Puck hopefully, rubbing his shoulders from her perch behind him. She had gotten her first off-Broadway break from an open mic night so she loved going to them if only out of nostalgia. _

"_Yeah, sounds good. Let's do it," he agreed bumping fists with Finn. A night out with his girlfriend and friends was exactly what his time at home was supposed to be about. _

_The Grog was a hole in the wall bar that the foursome had discovered after too much Sake at Quinn and Finn's favorite hibachi place on Bleecker. They had wandered in there that night and the girls had argued (loudly) that they were perfectly capable of singing. So a horrific rendition of Belinda Carlisle's Heaven on Earth was put on and forever ingrained in their memories. _

_But that night, after a group of frat boys dealt with some sort of pledging ritual and another woman did a hell of an Alanis Morisette-I fucking hate men special, the bar staffer told the rest of the patrons that the mic was up for grabs for anyone who wanted to perform. _

_Puck rarely played for anyone other than Rachel or occasionally the guys in his unit but that night, he was compelled to get out of his way for once. So he finished his second beer, stood up and ignored Rachel's questioning eyes. He borrowed a guitar from the staffer and tuned quickly after he took a seat on the stool. _

"_So I don't do this often so be gentle. This one for that little hot as fuck brunette who is blushing her ass off near the wall." _

_Rachel covered her face with her hands but immediately trained her eyes on him as he began to strum and sing. _

"_O__h, New York, please be still tonight," he crooned changing the state from Florida appropriately, "Don't disturb this love of mine."_

_Quinn had leaned back into Finn's embrace as they watched their friend sing a love song in front of everyone for Rachel. It had been quite a few years since he had done so (since their senior year of Glee) but when he did, it quieted the crowd and made the recipient of the song the center of attention. _

_Despite Rachel being twenty feet away from him, he could see that she was mouthing the lyrics along with him. _

"_So I'll sing a melody and hope to God she's listening, sleeping softly while I sing and I'll be your memories. Your lullaby for all the times, hoping that my voice could get it right."_

_As Puck finished the music to the song, the bar customers gave him polite, eager applause. He handed off the guitar and shuffled back to the table, his hands in his pockets. Fuck, why the hell did he suddenly feel sixteen desperate for a girl's approval? Right, because he had wanted this girl since he was sixteen and now that he had her, he was constantly doing things to win only her approval. _

_Rachel was bright with a smile at his return but he wanted (needed) to hear some words from her. _

"_That was great man," Finn said, sliding him another beer. _

"_I agree, you need to sing more often," Quinn said looking the brunette who was still beaming at her boyfriend but who hadn't yet offered her critique. _

"_Rach?" Puck questioned lifting his eyes from the amber liquid in the beer mug to her emotion filled brown ones. _

_He wasn't expecting her to vacate her chair and climb onto his lap, kissing him in thanks. _

"_Of all the songs you've ever sang for me, that one may be my favorite."_

Finn handed her a tissue and rubs the back of his neck nervously.

"What's got you so upset?" he asked "Anything to do with your visit to Burt's the day after Christmas?"

She wants to say that she's just being silly, that she's fine but even as good an actress she is, Rachel can't keep compartmentalizing. "Everything," she whispers.

Finn waits and doesn't pressure her so Rachel launches into what has been going on between her and Puck as well as what had happened with Owen just hours before. Finn listens dutifully before giving her his take.

"I've known Puck since we were six. So I know without a doubt that he loves you." Rachel smiles a little at his statement. "His dad leaving kind of put a tarnish on the idea of marriage so I can't say if he's the marrying kind. Is it fair to you? No because the key part of any relationship is compromise. But if he's not, would you be happy with him home full time?"

It's a point that she has honestly never put much thought into. Maybe her hurt and resentment lies more in the fact that he's half a world away.

"I have to figure it out I guess."

Finn grabs his briefcase and his jacket. "Let me buy you a cup of coffee and we can talk more on the way home."

* * *

She kisses Owen. She doesn't mean for it to happen but he asks her to have coffee as friends and instead of being rude, Rachel agrees. They go to a Starbucks and it's busy, but an older couple vacates a table for them. The older woman congratulates her on such a catch and she's gone before Rachel's mind can catch up to correct her. Owen sits her down and retrieves coffee for the two of them. They talk more than in depth about stuff she's learned about him at rehearsals and it would be idiotic to not realize how wonderful he is. But the other thing that sets the course for how that afternoon goes is how attentive he is to her. When she needs a napkin, he leaps to go get it and when she has to use the restroom, he stands as she leaves the table. Different but welcome and this isn't even a date.

But he compliments her, telling her what a powerful force she is up on that stage and how he knows in his bones that she will go far. As he repeatedly compliments her, she's compelled to kiss him.

Rachel leans across the table and kisses him and he immediately responds. It's definitely different than kissing Noah. There's a latent energy not burning passion. He tastes like a caramel flavored coffee and not gum. He doesn't thread his hands into her hair, simply plays with a few strands as they kiss. And Rachel knows when she opens her eyes that his eyes will be a muted brown and not intense hazel.

She pulls away and does her best to remain calm but her heart is pounding so loud that she can hear it in her ears.

"Damn Rachel, you can really kiss," Owen says and the compliment makes her want to be sick because there is someone that is halfway around the world that would agree. "Be my date to the Met Costume Gala? I have to make an appearance."

Her heart sinks at the hopeful look that appears on his face.

"Owen, I want to but can I look at my schedule and give you a call?"

It's a terrible excuse but Owen is a perfect gentleman and tells her that that is perfectly fine. She can tell he's a tad disappointed that it was not a straight away yes but Rachel cannot possibly feel worse than she already does.

For both men as well as her heart.

Rachel tells Quinn about the kiss and the blonde is so shocked that she comes over to Rachel's apartment with a bottle of tequila.

"This is totally going to ruin my morning but you're worth it." Rachel gives Quinn a tight hug because she needs the company and the ability to discuss this.

They dissect exactly what happened amidst the time-honored process of salt, tequila and lime.

"Rachel, what do you want?" Quinn asks.

Rachel blinked. It was the first time that someone was asking her that when it came to her relationship with Noah. Noah knew what she wanted but not because he asked but because she was the one to inform him. It didn't mean that Rachel was given what she wanted.

"Ideally?" Rachel asked knocking back another shot. The liquid burned a trail to her stomach and the warmth radiated throughout her body. She wishes should could be the kind of person that drinks to forget but if anything, the tequila is making her more aware of how hurt she is by Noah and how intrigued she is by Owen.

"Whatever. Just lay all your cards on the table so we can make a decision that's going to make you happy."

Happiness was like a foreign concept but she did her best to verbalize what would make her happy. "I want him home. I want to have a home with him."

"And if he can't give you that?" Quinn immediately fired back.

Rachel's fingers reach out and grasp the bottle, filling her shot glass to the brim.

"I don't know what that means," she says and puts salt on the back of her hand before drinking the tequila and insistently sucking on a new piece of lime.

Quinn drinks another and she looks at her.

"I think whenever you talk to him next you need to get some answers."

Quinn's urging makes the tequila roll in her stomach so she turns her focus to the blonde.

"Distract me. What's been happening between you and Finn?"

"Ugh," Quinn groaned and poured another shot in response to Rachel's question. "He brought up the b word the other night."

"Bitch?" Rachel asked, not sure.

"Baby!" Quinn cried and took the tequila in hand. Rachel teared up at the joyous thought of her friends having a baby. "Not you too!" Quinn lamented. "You're supposed to be on my side."

"But a baby? Quinn, what are your reasons not to?"

Quinn stalled, "We've only been married for a year and a half."

"So. It's not like you're going to give birth tomorrow. It will take time and you two have a big apartment. You make enough money," Rachel clapped happily. "And I can be Aunt Rachel, take the baby to central park and to the zoo."

"Argh," Quinn groaned pathetically. Because the picture that Rachel painted was not as terrible as what she had pictured.

"Quinn," Rachel said, "I think there's something you're not saying."

The blonde faltered and picked at the rind off a used slice of lime. "I'm scared. I never felt...close to Beth while I carried her. What if I can't love it?"

Rachel's heart ached for her friend. The blonde had been through a heartbreaking ordeal at only sixteen and the memory of that experience still affected her.

"Do you love Finn?"

"Yes of course."

"Then you'll be in love with the life that you create. And so will your husband."

Quinn gathered Rachel in a hug having been effectively calmed down about this possible new life venture. Their night had started out discussing the downward spiral of a relationship and ended on the creation of a family. But one thing that Rachel would never bring into the discussion was the fact that she was jealous of the life that Quinn was living.

* * *

Things were not the same after he returned to the base. He knows it's because everything was fucked up from the moment he stepped back in the airport to head back. With Rachel upset with him, wanting to scale back on where they were at in their relationship, Puck hated to admit it but he was a little lost. Just as she had grown up depending on him, he had done similarly. The only reason he was able to do this job was the thought of her waiting for him at home.

This lack of Rachel in his life has even messed with his friends in the unit. His friends in the unit used to know when he would go talk to Rachel and now they didn't bring it up as it brought about a scowling side of Puck

But he plays by her rules. He doesn't e-mail as frequently, he doesn't call as much and like she wanted, their video chats are every other week. But the latter doesn't feel the same. Somehow (he knows exactly how), they've been tainted. Instead of looking forward to them, to seeing her on that screen for the briefest of minutes, he's picking apart the words that flow between them and noting that she looks tired and like she should be eating more.

Even though he's trying to please her by agreeing to when she wants to talk and what not, it doesn't feel like what they have together is the same and that worries him.

It takes him three weeks to finally say, screw this bullshit and with promises of cleaning up the training equipment for the next week to his superior, he was granted use of the satellite phone. There's no answer on her cell phone and so he calls Quinn. The blonde stammers about not knowing where Rachel is until she finally gives in and tells him that she decided to go home to Lima to spend a weekend with her fathers.

Although Rachel loves her fathers, her just going to Lima without a special occasion isn't like her. She loves New York and to hear that she needed to get away from her life there does not inspire confidence.

"Hello Berry residence," a jovial Richard Berry answered

"Mr. Berry, its Noah."

"Wow, Noah, this certainly is a long distance phone call isn't it? I'm certainly glad you didn't call collect but it is good to hear your voice. Everything going okay son?"

"I guess that's to be determined once I speak to Rachel. Is she around?"

Alan informed him that she was and he brought the phone to his daughter. There was some muffled arguing before Rachel finally got on the line. Puck automatically wanted to know what the fuck was going on but saying anything like that would certainly start the conversation off on the wrong foot.

"Hi," he said softly staring at his dust-covered boots.

"Hi," she said back and his chest tightened.

"How are you?" he asked

"Been better," she said and from her distant disposition he knew she was holding back a long-winded statement about how she was truly feeling. "How are you?"

"Honestly?" he said with a cheerless laugh, "I'm confused as fuck. I have no idea what is going on with us and it's messing with my head out here. Fuck Berry, I know I didn't have the right answer when you asked me about us getting married but that can't be it. Because honestly, it's felt like we're distant cousins instead of boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Noah, I didn't want for this to happen…" she cried and he closed his eyes. He didn't mean to make her cry. He hated making her cry.

He had two options: he could burst out angrily and ask her if she thought that he had or…

"Rach, I didn't either. We're just having a difficult time with…"

"There's someone else."

She verbally sucker punched him before he had time to finish his thought. The separation. That's what he had wanted to say, that's what he wanted to blame it on. But it was no longer just the separation, it was this guy that Rachel had met and that was actually able to be there with her.

"Who is it?" he was able to strangle out

"Owen. He's an investor in the play and…" She continued to tell him how they met, how she had fought off any traces of feelings for him and tried to stay faithful to him – they hadn't done anything physical except kiss and she was trying to decide the best course of action. He wasn't listening intently but he was honestly shell shocked at this omission. "Noah, say something," she finished with.

"What's there to say? Do I actually have a say Rachel?"

"Do you want to be with me?" she asked worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. "If they told you tomorrow, that you could go home that your service to your country is done, would you be okay with that? Would you come be with me and start a home?"

He groaned over the question and exploded with anger. He didn't want to yell at her but at this point, was there any other way of getting through to her?

"Seriously Rachel? It's coming to that? Either I come home or we're through? You, of all people, know how important this is to me. That I finish this the way I want to. I support everything you want to do … Broadway, Hollywood, whatever. The least you can do is respect my plan."

"But your plan keeps us apart! I know how much the army has given you. You have always been a good person Noah, but somehow the army makes you feel gold. But how do you build a relationship on bi-weekly video chats and physical visits months apart?"

He faltered for a rebuttal and she put the final nail in the coffin.

"The answer is you can't. And I won't. I'm not built to be the girlfriend of a ghost."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Just to keep everyone on the same page, for the purpose of this story, Rachel and Puck started dating in their junior year and they are now 24, going on 25. If you care, the two songs that really fueled this chapter are "Sleep" by Azure Ray and "Awake my Soul" by Mumford & Sons.

**Chapter Five**

Eight years of his life wasted.

Eight fucking years.

His friends in the unit automatically knew something was wrong when he came back to his cot and ripped up one of his many pictures of Rachel. They had stopped him from going on round two knowing that he would regret it later. They take the photos and remove them from his sight, stowing them away.

Jack Daniels quickly became a trusted friend that evening. As he got drunk enough to start spewing his feelings about the break up, he started out thankful that he had finally cut things off with her. She was demanding, crazy, self-centered. When Rachel didn't get what she wanted, it made everyone around her suffer. He was glad to be done.

Another quarter of the bottle and he was mournful. She was the one reason that kept him going home, kept him thinking of the world outside this war was now gone. She always made him feel like he could do more, was worth more.

Eventually, he was cursing the name of JD as he puked everything in his system up into the dust of the desert that he currently called home.

* * *

Hours passed from she spoke to Noah that morning. She puttered around her fathers' house, rearranging the clothes that were left in closet, watching reruns of Judge Judy and bothering her fathers to see if they needed any help with errands. When she had run out of things to distract her, she meandered into the living room and saw the glossy black instrument that seemed to call to her and encourage her to play out her feelings.

She took a seat at the black Steinway grand piano, a recent addition while she had been gone at school so that she could play and sing for them when she was home. At first, Rachel plunked keys one by one as she was stumped as to what to play.

Eventually, she pressed on the pedal and her fingers moved across the keys. Rachel made it through the first verse just fine but as she came upon the chorus, a lump formed in her throat. She swallowed thickly and kept singing.

"It's just a drop in the ocean, a change in the weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together," Rachel sang sadly, "It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert but I'm holding you closer than most, 'cause you are my heaven."

She couldn't continue with the rest of song as it was like the melody had zapped her strength and she broke. Her fathers, who had been hanging in the hallway after they heard her begin to play so sadly, came and sat down on the bench on either side of her and held her as she cried.

Things with Noah were over and suddenly she wasn't sure it was the right decision.

Still hurting, Rachel called Owen and declined the invitation to the Met Costume Gala stating that such a public event was sending the wrong message about their status. However, she did say she would be open to having a quiet dinner with him in the near future.

* * *

It took him a little over a week and half to finally get so crazed that he begged his superior to get an immediate leave request granted. It was most certainly not his proudest moment but Puck needed to see her in person so they could hash out all their issues in order to move forward.

So he leveled with his superior, who was married for 21 years and had two children. He explained the situation without getting touchy-feely on the elder officer because that surely would not allow him to live this one down. But he felt for Puck and granted him three days.

The plane ride to LaGuardia left him sleepless but he kept telling himself that it would be worth it. He just needed to see Rachel and things would be okay. He called Finn to come get him at the airport because it was Wednesday after 4 pm which meant that Rachel was on stage. His friend sounded shocked to hear from him but agreed to come get him.

Finn pulled up the curb at baggage claim and Puck dodged the rain that was currently plaguing the city. He threw his decidedly smaller bag into the back before sliding into the passenger seat.

"Welcome home man," Finn told him as he flipped on his blinker and pulled out in the crazy airport traffic.

"Thanks," Puck responded as he looked out the window.

"What brings you home?"

Puck narrows his eyes and glares at his friend. "You know what. Don't play dumb Hudson."

Finn sighed. "Dude, do you think this is a good idea? She's already not doing good with the split and I don't think you just showing up is going to make her better."

"So I'm just supposed to sit almost 7,000 miles away and let this happen?"

"I don't know what to tell you."

They spent the rest of the ride in silence until Finn parked his car in a public garage and they headed to the apartment building where the teacher shared an apartment with Quinn. Quinn didn't seem surprised to see him and gathered him a tight hug. Puck returned the embrace but he could tell that Quinn and Finn were on the same page when it came to him going to find Rachel.

"I'm not going to try and change your mind," Quinn told him. "I just ask that hear me out on why I don't think it's a good idea and if you still feel like you absolutely, positively must go talk to her, do it after you get some sleep. You're lacking the pretty."

"Thanks," Puck replied sarcastically. He knows the lack of sleep is showing on his face. He can feel it in his body. And the food on the airplane was shit and he was starved. Puck took a seat on one of the stools at their kitchen counter and shrugged his acquiescence at Quinn's apparent viewpoint on the situation.

She set about cooking dinner for the three of them all the while explaining that although Rachel was hurting, she was doing the best she could with the situation.

"You mean fucking the dude with the money from the play?"

Quinn slammed the cabinet door, which made both Finn and Puck sit up. "I can take a lot from you Noah Puckerman, but one thing that I will absolutely not tolerate is you making dumbass accusations. Just because she was honest and told you about kissing Owen, does not mean that she slept with him."

"Sorry," Puck mumbled.

"I'll tell you what I know. Rachel wanted you home. She wanted you to show her in some fashion, that there was no one else," Quinn said and held up a hand to Puck when he looked as if he might interrupt. "She wanted to started thinking in terms of every day with you and not every seven months or occasionally important holidays. It killed her that you two had been together as long as you had and her ring finger was still empty."

"Why?"

Quinn looked at her own engagement ring and wedding band, trying to articulate. "The sight of these two little pieces of jewelry is comforting," Quinn said quietly and Puck saw the small half smile that Finn developed at the way Quinn just stared at the 1.5-carat round diamond engagement ring and accompanying wedding band on her left hand. "It means, to me at least, there is that person that you love that gave this to you as a physical representation of that love and that the two of you will do everything in your power to make it work."

Finn's out of his chair as she finishes and he's kissing her soundly. Puck wants to make gagging noises until they stop being sickeningly cute but he doesn't do it. He just watches the two of them, wondering what in the hell did he give up.

* * *

Quinn feeds him and he crashes in their guest room, adoring every minute that he spends on a real bed. He gets up before they do the next morning and he's out walking the streets of Manhattan. The city is still calm as the morning commute has not yet begun and he really tries to stop himself from walking over to her apartment building but he's only so strong. He just waits outside, across the street using skills that he's developed during his time in the military to stay out of view. Puck knows how creepy it is that he's doing this but he just needs to see her.

His cell phone rings a few times with calls of concern from both his best friend and Quinn but assures the both of them that he's not going to ambush her. And that's the truth.

She finally emerges from the building a little bit after nine. Rachel looked gorgeous in a red pea coat and black boots that disappeared under the expanse of her coat. His observations from their last few video chats stayed true – she looked tired and thin. He knew that he was the cause of that and made his gut twist.

She hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and started to walk away. That's when he made a very important decision. Grabbing a cup of coffee from a street vendor, it was time to get his day started.

* * *

He does what he has to before he crashes at Finn and Quinn's for the rest of the day, taking in the little luxuries like television. But when the happily married couple comes home from work and start to cuddle as they go through their DVR, he cuts out and doesn't answer them when they ask where he's going.

Puck heads back to Rachel's apartment building and goes into the lobby when a resident leaves. He knows he doesn't have the right to be waiting up by her door for when she arrives so he just chills in a chair that's near the elevator. From his location, their encounter is inevitable.

He waits for-fucking-ever until he hears the door open and Rachel's melodic voice filters in. He figures she's on the phone and he hopes that his presence doesn't make her drop her phone or some shit because he knows she will be pissed.

"It was a decent performance but you made him look good," he heard a man's voice compliment her.

His blood goes cold as Rachel walks fully into the lobby, some douchetastic guy with her. She freezes, her eyes wide as saucers. He can tell she's trying to form words but he could care less. It's apparent that she has moved on

"Noah…" she says

"Save it," he mutters and pushes by the happy couple.

He goes back to the Hudson apartment and they look at him at expectantly since he did not provide them any details of where he was leaving to earlier.

"Where you been man?" Finn asks drying the plate that Quinn hands him.

Puck slams an item on the counter and goes to the guest room, silently seething. The two both stare at the little black box, knowing that it's presence on their kitchen counter meaning that Puck and Rachel are done for good.

Puck is back at LaGuardia that night, not willing to spend another godforsaken moment in New York. When Finn asks him about the ring, Puck tells him to hock it and send the money to his mom in Lima. It's scary how serious he is.

* * *

Rachel couldn't move after Noah pushed past her and Owen. She was frozen in her spot. A part of her screamed to run after him and see what he wanted, wanting to cure the anger in his hazel eyes and tell him that things with Owen really weren't as serious as they appeared. But another part of her, the part so angry at him for all the pain that he has caused her, says good riddance.

She's just trying to move on and him being in New York does not make that easy. She has allowed herself to spend time with Owen because he is a good person. They haven't slept together because she is not that girl and this is going to be a slow process. Rachel hasn't communicated that to Owen but it looks as if now she will have to do so.

Owen's hand on her shoulder jars her from her reverie. "Rachel…why don't I get you up to your apartment? You look like you've seen a ghost."

She doesn't feel herself nod but her feet don't protest as Owen loads her into the elevator and presses the button for the tenth floor. As the door slide shut, the tears finally escape and she clamps a hand over her mouth after a sob escapes. Lucky for her (she thinks), Owen doesn't seem all that perturbed by her show of emotion and waits until he has fixed her a cup of tea to start asking questions.

"So the guy…" he starts

"Noah…my e-ex," Rachel stutters, "We broke up about two weeks ago. He's in the army…I never expected him to just show up out of nowhere."

The realization that their kiss happened while she was still in relationship with another guy does not escape Owen and she half expects him to be pissed off, yell or something. But he doesn't.

"He obviously still has feelings for you if he flew all that way to see you. But Rachel, I have to know, before you and I take this any further, do you still have feelings for him?"

With sad eyes, Rachel finally looks up from her tea mug to Owen's brown eyes that are full of concern. The question feels like it has only one right answer and that frustrates her beyond belief. Rachel wants to move past the train wreck that is Noah's and her relationship but it won't happen in the blink of an eye. And the time that they spent together (eight years) deserves that much.

"I think a part of me will always care for him, Owen. And I'm doing my best to put myself back together and I think you've been a part of that but I can't say that next week I will be fine. It will take time."

He doesn't respond to her explanation, just tells her that he needs some time to think and leaves her for her tears to renew.

* * *

Rachel shows up the next morning while the couple is getting ready for work. Cereal bowl in hand, Finn answers the door and is shocked by the version of Rachel behind the door. Her eyes were puffy from tears, her hair messy and her clothing looking homeless chic.

"Oh sweetie," Quinn says and gathers her in a hug.

"Is he here?" Rachel asks, wiping away tears from under her eyes with her fingertips.

Finn and Quinn look at each other confused. "He left last night," Finn started.

"We figured you knew," Quinn added.

Rachel shook her head and bit her bottom lip. "He was waiting in the lobby of my building and I was with Owen. He just left when he saw us."

Quinn looked at her husband and gave him a steely gaze, hoping to communicate the little black box that was now stowed away in her bedside table drawer was not to be discussed. From what Rachel was telling them, only two out of three people in that apartment knew about its existence.

"Please don't take this the wrong way," Quinn started gently, "But what reaction did you expect from him? Seeing you with another guy could not have been easy on him."

"It just didn't feel like him. He…he gave up so easily."

"And Owen?" Quinn asks, accepting a fresh mug of coffee from her husband. The blonde doesn't know who the better match for Rachel is at this point. All she knows is that she wants Rachel back to normal and this tug of war that she experienced last night did not aid that process in the least.

Rachel shrugs. She knows no more than she did last night. But she has to get to the theatre to rehearse with the new gentleman that recently took on the role of Chuck Baxter and does not want to be late. Owen undoubtedly will be there to oversee and if that part of her that wants him in her life has a say, she needs to make that apparent.

"If you talk to him," Rachel says pausing by the door and looks at Finn, "Can you just tell him to be safe?"

"Of course," Finn tells her.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **At the reassurance of the wonderful Rachel (**GoingVintage**), I worked to get this done tonight so I could post it. Thank you so much for reading and leaving reviews. I'm going to try and start replying to some of them as they come in. I would like to remind you that I don't do sad endings so this will have a happy ending. It will take some time to get there but don't worry if this chapter is once again angsty. Gotta keep you all that way until the big reunion. 

**Chapter Six**

Puck usually had no problem ending things with a chick. Usually being the key word. But eight years with Rachel and that had been replaced with the fact that Puck had a very hard time letting go of one girl in particular. In a way, it was like he had had his leg amputated and he had to learn to live without it.

It didn't take days or weeks even. It took months to finally shake the feeling of loss from his body. And time moved like fucking molasses on a cold Lima day. He had to replace all aspects of his life that she touched. Calls, emails and video chats were now to his mother, Sarah and other friends. Nobody brought Rachel up and he was fucking thankful for that.

Other time, he spent working out and assuming more responsibility in the unit. Anything to keep his mind trained on the dusty desert and not on a Manhattan high-rise. He guessed his attention to the unit paid off because when their sergeant left because his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, Puck was the one that the others looked up to. It didn't take long for the title to come after. There was another person other than his mother that he wanted to tell but after all the progress that he had made he couldn't risk opening old wounds.

Besides, there was Cole Berger and he was basically like an AA sponsor for the relationship set. New to the outfit, he was kind of like a little brother that he had never had. He was 19-year-old Houston native and definitely reminded him a lot of himself after basic training. They had bonded immediately when Puck noticed the kid had somehow managed to pack a guitar, just as he had so many years ago. It only took a few hours before the two of them were jamming with the rest of the unit.

But more than just guitar, they were both nursing the wounds of past relationships. And it was on that fact that they truly bonded. It was on a night in late March that they had shared final battle stories of their relationships while watching some of their group play football amongst the last bit of light that day.

"I ended things after basic because I could tell she was unhappy," Cole said, "Trust me, doesn't feel any better with me having ended it." Puck didn't say much. Just knew the story all too well. But Cole wouldn't buy that shit he was pushing. "Fucking spill it dude. I'm not gonna like braid your hair afterwards or break out the Ougi board."

Puck smiled. It was the first God's honest smile in a long time. "We were together eight years and I wasn't there so it wasn't shocking that some other guy worked his magic on her."

There it was - the ending of their relationship wrapped up in a neat little package.

"She still with the other guy?" Cole asked

"Don't know, don't care. My other friends don't bring it up but knowing Rachel, probably. She's a serial monogamist."

It was true. She had gone from the short-lived relationship with Jesse St. Douche to Finn to him to Orville or whatever the fuck his name was. Of course they had had the longest relationship but the pattern was telling of Rachel's habits when it came to love.

"Rachel, huh? My girl's Jill."

The two men were quiet for a minute. The delirious heat was finally starting to lose the battle to the freezing temperatures at night. But from the thoughtful look on Cole's face tells him there's another question that the boy wishes to ask.

"Dude, just ask it." At this point, there's very little that Puck hasn't told him about the relationship so he's pretty much an open book.

"Do you miss her?"

Loaded fucking question.

"I used to. A lot more than I do now. Now there's this part of me that just fucking wonders if all this," he says gesturing to the dirt they sat on, "was worth losing what we had. Because that's what happened and as much as my stubborn ass doesn't want to admit it, she was right."

Puck chucks a rock away from their seat area and Cole asks the obvious.

"'Bout what?"

"That a few visits a year and chatting on a fucking computer doesn't build a relationship." Puck stands up and offers a hand to the younger soldier. Cole takes the hand offered and listens to the last piece of information that Puck has to say about Rachel.

"I can remember when we were happy and that makes me miss her more."

* * *

On another continent altogether on a bustling island, Rachel was dealing with her own life. Three months had passed since her final encounter with Noah. She hadn't heard from him after that and she thought that writing a letter to him would not convey exactly what she felt still needed to be said.

Rachel didn't discuss what was left in her heart for Noah with Finn and Quinn. She didn't discuss with anyone.

However, she couldn't stop herself from checking in with Aviva occasionally. The older woman was more of a mother to her than Shelby had ever tried to be. And although she was scared to talk to the woman at first, the woman openly conversed with her as if nothing had changed. There were times that she lamented the end of Rachel's relationship with her son but she immediately apologized for overstepping her bounds.

"It's okay. Noah and I had something very special. It just wasn't meant to last."

She didn't know if she believed that statement. Rachel had a feeling that the nearly fourteen-hour flight across the dateline had played a large role.

And now she was dating Owen. It was exclusive but Rachel was hell-bent on taking things slow. She was not ready for the fast track of moving in together and marriage.

It had taken him nearly a week to forgive her after leaving her apartment that night. Rachel laid all the details of hers and Noah's past and he came to understand. He didn't like it and he told her he didn't have to. Rachel wanted to get back to normal and she believed to do that she had to move on. A piece of her still missed Noah and she was sure it would take a lot longer for that to be nothing but a distant memory.

But today, on a seasonably warmer day in the beginning of April, Rachel was meeting Quinn for lunch. _Promises, Promises _had been good to her but after nearly 125 performances she handed over the role of Fran to somebody new and was ready for a different path to travel down. So for now, she had some time off but by the beginning of summer, she would be tackling Christine Daaé in _Phantom of the Opera_. Singing "Think of Me," eight times a week would certainly be a challenge for her vocally but the break she was taking now would allow her to give everything to the new role.

She went into the small Italian restaurant and saw Quinn on the phone. Taking a seat across from the blonde, it wasn't long before she was off the phone.

"Thanks for meeting me," Quinn said shaking out her napkin and placing it on her lap.

"No problem. I've been going overboard with online shopping and redecorating my place so this was the perfect distraction."

"Good because I have news."

Rachel looked up at Quinn and it was like the two communicated telepathically. The girl was so happy and was smiling so wide, so it wasn't that difficult to figure out.

"You're pregnant," Rachel said and the blonde nodded. Rachel squealed happily and went around the table to hug her friend. The tears were instantaneous for both and Rachel was sure that the other restaurant patrons and staff were mystified by the outburst of emotion.

"13 weeks yesterday," Quinn said, wiping away her tears, "We didn't want to tell anyone until the end of the first trimester."

"Is Finn excited?" Rachel asked getting back into her seat.

"He went out and bought a little Browns onesie the day after the doctor confirmed. I told him it was bad luck but he didn't care."

Rachel was amazed. Now looking at Quinn, there were very little changes that she noticed. The former cheerleader's bust line was a little bigger and there was the glow that everyone talked about during a pregnancy but which Rachel had never seen before. After the necessary details were discussed, Quinn asked Rachel about things and after the play the discussion went to Owen.

"We should double," Quinn said suddenly and Rachel was a little shocked. In the showdown between Owen and Puck, the married couple had unofficially always had been Team Puck, they were only missing t-shirts to denote their allegiance. It didn't bother Rachel - she just didn't make a point to force social interaction.

"Really?" Rachel asked, skeptically, a fork full of Caesar salad stopped halfway to her mouth because the statement was certainly not normality for the blonde.

"Yes. Before I get as big as a house and life goes crazy again, it's necessary."

"Okay, let's do it." Quinn's excitement for the idea was contagious and Rachel felt very positive about the plan.

They chatted casually through the rest of their meal and it wasn't until Rachel was putting on her trench coast that Quinn stopped her.

"Rachel…Finn told me not to show this to you because it wasn't my place but I just didn't want to listen." Quinn took some folded up papers out of her handbag and gave them to her. "It's from Puck. An e-mail update. I know that you're not together and you've moved on but I figured you might want to know how he's doing."

Tears filled Rachel's eyes and she nodded. Everything she had been desperate for the past few months was being handed to her on a silver platter. Rachel took the papers and hastily shoved them away.

"Rachel, don't do what I'm sure you're going to. The letter is just meant to let you know he's okay not for you to overanalyze and fall into a pit of despair."

Rachel flashed her a Tony award-winning smile. "I promise, I won't."

* * *

She waited until she had the privacy of her apartment to read the e-mail and react as she wished.

_To: _

_From: _

_Subject: (none)_

_Hey bro, just checking in from the 112__ heat of where I'm stationed. Thank God I'm in a tent right now on the computer or else I might pass the fuck out. Life's been pretty uneventful. Of course I can't go into too much detail about the job but you and Quinn should know that things could be a shit ton worse than they currently are. I got promoted to Major because the colonel's wife is sick and he had to head home to figure out what this means for his family and stuff. You really can't do that half a world away so it was important that he went. Of course, they couldn't give me the top spot due to red tape but for now I'm in charge of the unit until either Colonel Larson gets back or they replace him. _

_The guys all kind of look up to me which is awesome. I'm just trying to do my best to keep everyone safe and do the job. There's a guy here, Cole, who has become like a little brother. Wise beyond his years though…fuck, the kid has talked me down a few times from doing shit I'd certainly regret so he kind of reminds me of you in a way. On the other front….it's taken some time but I think I'm finally okay with who I am. I can't keep apologizing for my job and I refuse to anymore. When it comes to R…I'm conflicted as shit. Part of me probably could move past everything and just be with her again but the other part of will never see past that feeling of betrayal. Closure seems like a foreign word but I'm sure for what we had it will take a lot fucking longer than three months. _

_Okay enough rambling like a pussy. Life's okay and I'll talk to you soon. _

_-Puck _

Rachel was not sure how to feel about the e-mail. She was glad to hear that he was okay and she was proud of his accomplishment but it didn't sit right with her that he felt betrayed.

Glancing at the clock, she cursed seeing that she was now running late for a function that she was to attend with Owen that very night. Tossing the papers to the side, she would have to give more thought to this later. Rachel had to play the perfect girlfriend that night.

A ripped hemline on the original dress she had planned to wear that evening and a broken curling iron later, she was finally ready to go. Owen arrived right on time and Rachel apologized profusely for running late but was able to put together a back up outfit. The detours in her getting ready process had made her type-A personality feel unbelievably frazzled.

And now, she was standing in a large ballroom, a champagne flute in her left hand and her eyes glancing around the room distractedly. The band that played was a little dull and if anyone asked her to recall the names of people that Owen had been introducing her to, she would be at a loss.

Truth be told, her thoughts were on the papers she had had the sense to hide before Owen took a seat on her couch. As Rachel's thoughts went to his words and his feelings about not having to apologize for who he was anymore, she wished she could tell him that that was never the issue. She fell in love with him for a reason.

"Rachel," Owen said louder and the small brunette glanced up to her date that was clearly irritated by her lack of attention on him and the elderly couple that they were supposed to be speaking with.

"I'm sorry…what were you saying?"

"I was not saying anything. Mrs. Henderson was just complimenting you on one of the performances of Promises, Promises that she took in."

Rachel flushed in embarrassment, nearly matching the crimson material of her dress. It was not like her to daydream and be so rude to someone that she was in a conversation with. "I'm so sorry Mrs. Henderson but thank you for compliment," Rachel apologized, "Please excuse me, I think I need some air."

She extricated herself from the conversation and rid herself of the champagne on a passing waiter's tray. It didn't take Owen very long to catch up to her and demand an explanation.

"Rachel, what the hell? The Hendersons are huge supporters of the arts. I hate to point out the obvious but you were being a little rude."

"I apologized didn't I?" Rachel snapped angrily, suddenly wishing she had had the sense to grab her wrap from their table before heading outside. It might be April but the night was still much cooler than the day.

Owen ignored her angry outburst and shrugged off his jacket for her. "This is just so unlike you. What's the matter?"

Rachel knew that the answer was not one that Owen would want to hear. Thinking of an ex-boyfriend while out with your current significant other was more than a faux pas.

"Can we just go? I'm…I shouldn't be here tonight."

The blonde theatre investor raised an eyebrow at her explanation but simply told her that he would get her things. Rachel stared out onto the bustling New York City street and willed herself to get it together. She would screw everything up by letting Noah invade her mind.

* * *

The couple didn't address the occurrence before the double date that came a few days later. Owen was busy working on his new project of bringing back _In the Heights_ to Broadway and Rachel was avoiding that confrontation like the plague.

But Owen was excited to spend time with her friends and actually be privy to another part of her life. Rachel didn't know how to feel. With the e-mail that she had read days prior, having Owen spend time with Finn and Quinn was probably another betrayal in his eyes. Replacing him in every way possible.

They went to Morimoto, a well-known ritzy Asian fusion place at Owen's recommendation. Quinn was overtly friendly to Owen while her other half had been definitively icy towards Rachel's new boyfriend. Rachel couldn't blame Finn because in his heart of hearts, he still believed in the Rachel and Noah fairytale ending.

After the sommelier had uncorked the wine, Owen turned the focus on the married couple wanting to know more about Rachel's friends.

"So Finn, Rachel says you teach at Trinity. Is that old bag Mrs. Wilson still teaching trig there?"

"You went to Trinity?" Finn asked perking up

"Yeah, I grew up in Manhattan. I played on the baseball team."

As Finn and Owen started to discuss the school, Rachel gave her boyfriend a small smile as she picked up her glass of wine. It seemed as if the two men finding a common bond would not be as difficult as she had presumed.

"It's a good school to have a job at," Owen said refilling Finn's wine glass. "Those uniforms sucked ass though."

Finn laughed loudly which made Quinn confident that he could handle himself for a few minutes. The blonde mouthed 'bathroom' to Rachel and the two women made their swift exit to let the two men continue on their pathway of bonding. The brunette put on a happy face, not wanting an inquisition to take place.

"Well they seem to be getting along," Rachel mused pulling her lip-gloss out of her clutch to do a touch up of her makeup.

"It's about time," Quinn said, "He wasn't happy at first about having to go but I told him that if I was able to get myself together with a child growing inside me, he could spare a few hours."

Rachel laughed lightly as she pouted and smoothed some lip-gloss onto her lips. Quinn smoothed her hair and glanced at Rachel, eyes narrowed. The brunette ignored the questioning gaze, remaining focused on playing pretend. She was able to do that until Quinn dropped the inevitable bomb that could break even the best actress' concentration.

"I think he just misses Puck."

The brunette smiled sadly at her friend. Quinn intuitively knew something was going on. Rachel wouldn't go into detail about her reaction to the e-mail or what had happened the other night. If she did, Rachel was almost certain that tears would fall and questions would be inevitable when they returned to the table.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel summed it up as effortlessly as she could. "It's easy to miss him."

Puck and Cole had their guitars out playing an acoustic version of Tom Petty's "American Girl" when they got the news that a small group of them were being mobilized for recon in 48 hours.

It had been a week since the conversation that Cole and he had had while the others had horsed around with the football. Since then, a dickweed of a man had replaced Colonel Larson indefinitely. He had immediately rubbed Puck the wrong way when he had torn apart the job that Puck had done in keeping things in order and keeping the unit ready. But in the army, talking back did you no good so he kept his mouth shut and simply went along with the new guy's orders.

"The mission is intended for you all to go into the town and learn what you can. Use your eyes and ears. Play it smart and report back." Colonel Dickweed paced back and forth as he gave his rhetoric, which made Puck just roll his eyes. "If I read your name, be ready to go at 0600. Matthews, North, O'Connor, Berger, Whalen and Puckerman. Puckerman, you're on point."

Puck nodded his understanding and the group thinned out except for the six that were being mobilized. They all looked to him and it replaced any annoyance he had with the new guy in charge.

"All boys, this is how it's gonna go."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

He didn't understand nightmares. Where the fuck they came from or what the fuck they meant but they were a giant pain in the ass. The same night that the major gave him and the others their marching orders, he woke up sweating and trying to piece together what the fuck had just been happening while he had been asleep.

"_Noah?"_  
_  
Noah's eyes fluttered open to reveal Rachel staring back at him._

_"Hmm?" he asked sleepily_  
_  
"I know you're still battling the jetlag, but she won't go back to sleep for me," Rachel said resignedly, "I've tried everything."_  
_  
"I'll get her," Puck mumbled as he slowly got out of bed. He grabbed his robe that was lying on a chair on the way out of the bedroom that he shared with his wife. Puck walked his way down the hallways, the only sound was of his feet hitting the hardwood when he took a step and Elle's muffled cries. He opened the door to the nursery to hear his six-month-old daughter wailing from her crib._

__

As soon as Puck peered over the side of the crib, Elle reached her chubby arms in desperation, wanting her father's comfort. Army life had luckily allowed him to be present for her birth but since then, these last few days had been the only time that he spent with her. But the best feeling in the world? Walking through the door into the baggage claim and the baby's face lighting up at the airport at seeing him. Rachel had not let him disappear from Elle's life while he was half a world away. With dark hair and hazel eyes, Elle was the perfect combination of the two of them and it was so strange seeing her so old already. He swore that there had only been a few other instances in his life in which it felt as if his heart had stopped (one of them being seeing Rachel in a wedding dress for the first time) and that had certainly been one of them.

"Shhhh, Daddy's here," Puck cooed as he lifted her out of her crib. He stuck her pacifier in her mouth and the baby laid her head down on her father's shoulder. Puck began to sway back and forth, but even though the tears kept coming from her eyes they were slowing down. Puck wiped her wet cheeks with his fingertips while rubbing his daughter's back with his other free hand.

The baby's eyes eventually closed and Puck placed Elle back in her crib, covering her with the blanket. He crept quietly out of the nursery and back into the master bedroom. Padding softly to the bed, he slid back under the covers and Rachel got comfortable in arms. She kissed his bare chest and idly traced her fingers up his bare stomach.

"Do you have any idea as to why Elle keeps waking up? I mean, you said she was sleeping through the night before," Puck asked quietly, trying to ignore the feelings that she was stirring in him at the moment. He could feel his eyes droop and knew that any attempt at sex at that point would be disappointing for the two of them – sex shark or not, jetlag was fucking with his life.

"_At first I thought maybe she had an earache, but she hasn't been grabbing at her ear, and but she's only been letting you put her to sleep since you've been back." Rachel mused as she stilled the movement of her fingers and instead curled her hand around his hip. "Maybe she's acting out because she misses her Daddy."_

__

Puck laughed lightly and looked down at her.

"I know things have been rough with me gone but I didn't re-up and I'm out in two months. I'll be here for the both of you."

Rachel sighed happily and snuggled into his side some more.

"I'm glad to hear that. Oh and remember, my car's in the shop, so you'll need to drop me off tomorrow?"

_"Anything for you," he said and kissed her forehead._

_The next morning went as it usually did with Rachel trying to get Elle fed and herself dressed and ready for a day of two performances. Thankfully, instead of having to drop her daughter off at day care, Puck had the day free to watch her._

_It hadn't been easy going back to work with her husband still overseas, but his paycheck only went so far and to live in Manhattan, the two incomes were necessary. At the advice of Quinn, they had waited until Elle had gotten all her immunizations and was at least four months old before Rachel took on a new Broadway role. There had certainly been a transitional period that the blonde had told her everyone goes through after having a baby, and she and Finn had had to do it three years earlier with their first child._

_But thankfully, that morning the added stress of having to find parking and forking over a ton of cash to do so would be eliminated by her husband dropping her off.  
_  
_They drove three city blocks amongst terrible commuter traffic before they reached a red light. They sat there in peace, Rachel looking back every once in a while to check on Elle. The light turned green, and Puck stepped on the gas, only reaching the middle of the intersection before a truck running the red t-boned them.  
_  
_The next ten minutes were a blur to Puck as the whole thing played like snap shots. Rachel tossed across the front seat next to him, who was up against the door. He couldn't turn around to see Elle but he couldn't hear the baby, which he already knew, was a bad sign. Being held down on a stretcher by two paramedics, fighting to find out about his family as they tried to assess him for injuries. And finally, finding himself alone in a hospital room with a doctor being told that his wife and daughter had succumbed to their injuries in the crash. _

He sat up in bed and tried to get his heart to slow down but he needed some air, cold outside or not. Grabbing his half empty pack of cigarettes, that only ever were consumed when he was stressed out of his mind, Puck went outside the tent and lit one. Inhaling off the cigarette, he blew the smoke into the air and tried to process what exactly him having a nightmare about Rachel dying meant. It freaked him out more than he could say that everything that Rachel wanted for the two of them was in the nightmare as it was clear that they had been married and Elle was obviously the end product.

As the cigarette got close to the filter, he chucked it to the ground and put it out. Even as he went back to his cot and laid down, his gut was still convinced something was off.

Waking up the next morning, his body did not want to cooperate thanks to the tossing and turning that he had encountered the night before. Even Cole took note.

"You're dragging ass brother. What's going on?" the younger soldier as they completed the morning group workout. Puck, who was normally one of the first ones to finish up the run at the end of the routine, was nearly last that morning.

"Rough night," Puck answered, "Got a lot on my mind."

Cole stopped his friend from just walking away from the conversation and got Puck to tell him about the dream…nightmare, whatever.

"I know it's fucked up but I have this sick feeling that something's wrong with Rachel. And because I basically asked no one to bring up, I'm not going to know."

"Do you honestly think your friends would keep that from you?" Cole asked as they went to get breakfast with the rest of the unit. Puck honestly didn't have an answer to that. He just hoped that he would be told if anything was seriously wrong. After everything, he was owed that.

It was barely light the next morning as the six soldiers assigned to the recon mission packed and loaded into the military humvee to go into the small town. Like any mission before, Puck's skin tingled in hyper-awareness. Mathews pulled the truck over and the six got out and the entire group noticed that even in a war torn country, the town was much too quiet for their liking.

"North, Berger, eyes to the sky gentleman," Puck ordered as he told another two to keep an eye on the perimeter. He didn't like the feeling that he was getting as the soldiers went into the town but there was nothing they could do. There had been intelligence that a secret cell of terrorists had been using the town for business and it had resulted in ten civilian deaths in the last four days. With the U.S. troops trying to keep the peace that was not going to fly. Their job was to determine if the cell was active and determine a course of removal. But with not so much as a fucking goat roaming the streets, things were definitely not okay.

Without warning there was the unmistakable pop of gunfire and a blast of a grenade to their right. It knocked O'Connor on his ass and Puck yanked the kid up onto his feet. Weapons drawn and aimed, Puck knew that they were facing an ambush.

Puck was able to pick off two before he got under some form of cover and kept shooting at the enemy from where he was located.

"Puck!" Puck swiveled his head and saw North a little farther down, also picking off anyone that he could shoot in range. "They got Berger! I can't get a shot in though!"

Sure enough, two guys had Cole and were dragging him away under the cover of several other cell members.

Here's the funny thing about being a soldier. You do what you're told. Sure, whatever shit they're telling you to do may be dangerous as hell but you can't care for more than five minutes. You think about your loved ones, pray for them to be all right without you if that's what this situation takes. Then you jump on the rig and head to the shit storm that is requiring Special Forces in the first place.

Seeing Cole in that position was no different.

"Cover me!" Puck yelled to North and went out into the fight to save his friend and fellow soldier. With things quickly going to shit, there were three people on his mind. His mom. Sarah. And Rachel. Of course, Rachel.

He doesn't see the guy with gun that hits him in the back, effectively stunning him. With a finger on the trigger and the gun pointed at his temple, Puck knows that that was it; he was done for. But a round of ammunition goes off and the guy goes down and Puck knows North had his ass covered.

It takes him a minute of dodging bullets but he gets to where Cole is and uses the end of his gun to knock out one guy and shoots the other before he can reach for his own weapon. Cole looks relieved and the two immediately start to head towards cover.

But a wild bullet gets him in the shoulder and he's back to thinking about Rachel. He hits the ground, blood rapidly escaping the wound. He can hear Cole shooting off his weapon and shouting to the others. He really can't make out the words and he just feels tired and cold.

"Puck, man, stay with me!" Cole yells at him, shaking his good arm. But he can barely keep his eyes open and he lets them fall closed because he was so…tired. Puck can see Rachel in a wedding dress holding out her hand for him. He knows that she will never realize how much he had been willing to give her.

* * *

Rachel dipped her paint roller into the pan of Benjamin Moore Hay Stack before rolling up the wall in the former guest bedroom of Quinn and Finn's apartment. She and Quinn were painting the soon to be nursery for Baby Hudson, dressed in old jeans and ridiculous looking masks to keep out any and all fumes.

"Break?" Quinn said loudly to be heard through the mask and Rachel nodded. The room was three quarters done and even though Rachel was not the one carrying the baby, painting the room and going with the blonde to go pick out furniture was making the reality really set in.

They took off the masks and headed into the kitchen to relax. But Rachel felt tired of everything that she was experiencing. Truthfully, the best thing that she could do would be to take a vacation to a deserted island solo and get away from everything.

It had been a week and a half since the double date and things with Owen had been tense at best. Her thoughts frequently drifted to Noah and it was basically taking a tire iron to her relationship with him.

Rachel's crowning moment? Not paying attention to Owen in bed to the point where she had been called out on it and he had stormed out of her apartment. She had done her best to apologize but it had ended with him telling her to not let it happen again. They had had a very frigid evening out with the newly hired director for the _In the Heights_ revival the night before and frankly, Rachel was approaching the end of her rapidly fraying rope.

When she had started things with Owen, it was because he was everything that Noah wasn't. He lived in the same city, he lavished her with attention and she had been attracted to him. Now…everything that he was giving her was not what she wanted.

Quinn watched her carefully as she grabbed the two of them water from the fridge.

"You okay?" she asked, taking the bottle of water from her.

"Fine…just dealing with everything."

"Rachel," Quinn said seriously, "You've been in a nonstop funk since I gave you a copy of that e-mail and that was not my intention. What's going on with you and Owen?"

Rachel rolled her eyes but told her friend every ugly detail. "I'm so…fucked," the brunette said, her tongue curling around the word that she nearly never used. "I'm a good actress Quinn. I'm a good actress but I can't fake it anymore."

"You know what to do Rachel. It's for the best. You need to be by yourself for awhile." Quinn handed the brunette her phone. "Call him, make plans to see him and get it over with. Because knowing you, you're going to put it off until shit blows up." The blonde rubbed a hand over her stomach and apologized for cursing.

Under the watchful eye of Quinn, Rachel found Owen in her phone book and gave him a call. When it rang twice and went to voicemail, Rachel had the distinct feeling that he had sent her there but she left a message in the most polite tone possible.

"Hi Owen, it's me…Rachel. I was hoping to meet up with you tonight and talk about some stuff? Pastis at 8 okay? If not, let me know otherwise I'll see you there."

Rachel looked at Quinn and the blonde was pleased with her action. "You need this Rachel."

And for the first time, in a long time, the words that came from her friend sounded like the only right ones.

After leaving Quinn and Finn's, Rachel went back to her apartment and yanked her yoga mat out of her closet to do some meditating. Her anxiety levels were off the charts and she needed to calm herself for what was to calm.

And to say that Owen didn't handle the break up well was an understatement.

Rachel arrived early to Pastis and was seated by the waitress. Reviewing the menu took her mind off what she was about to do, even if she couldn't imagine eating very much right now. Although she needed to do this for herself, she knew it wouldn't be easy. Owen walked in and sat down, already looking stressed from the workday.

"You wanted to talk?" he asked wearily after he placed an order for bourbon neat and received the amber colored liquid sans ice.

"Owen…" Rachel started, ready to launch into how she currently felt. But Owen didn't give her the opportunity.

"I know what you're going to say. This isn't working. I'm not happy. It's not you, it's me. I need to work on myself."

Rachel closed her mouth abruptly. Owen had broken down her very planned out monologue into a few clichéd sentences.

"Since you don't seem to be protesting, I'm going to assume that's the case and I'm not even going to dignify them with a defense. You never gave yourself a chance to be happy with me Rachel. Ever since your ex turned up in your apartment building, we've been tiptoeing around this issue."

"What issue?" Rachel asked indignantly, grasping the stem of her wine glass a little tighter from frustration.

"That you were never ready for a new relationship because deep down, you still have feelings for him." Owen laid a twenty-dollar bill on the table and stood up. "I'll just say this. He's going to hurt you again and when he does, I won't be there to pick up the pieces. That should cover my drink, have a nice life."

Rachel scowled at his retreating back. "Asshole," she muttered. She had come here with the intention of easing into how she was feeling and why she needed her space. Now? Rachel was glad to be rid of someone who clearly had so many issues with her and never felt the need to bring them to light. Leaving additional money for her glass of merlot, Rachel slipped on her jacket and headed into the cool New York City night.

She walked the blocks from where she had met Owen, feeling lighter than she had in a long time. Being single in New York would certainly be a new adventure for her but she was oddly looking forward to it. And now that she and Owen were no longer, she hoped that she would slowly be able to mend a friendship with Noah. She was sure that as he continued to serve in the military, that he needed more people back home to stay in contact with. Rachel was sure it would not be easy to gain forgiveness but she would do her best.

As thoughts of how well her world famous sugar cookies might hold in a care package to wherever he was stationed, she barely even noticed the two figures standing outside the door to her apartment. But once she recognizes Finn (his height is a dead giveaway), it's not hard to make out that Quinn is with him, hanging on to him like a life line.

"What's wrong? Is the baby okay?" Rachel asks automatically, taking out her keys to get the pregnant blonde inside and on the couch if that was the case.

"Rach…" Finn chokes out and it's then that Rachel examines the couple more closely. Finn's eyes are red from tears and his voice is incredibly hoarse when he says her name. Quinn's shoulders shake from her own tears that she can't seemingly stop.

"Tell me you're joking," Rachel says, intuitively knowing exactly what the news they were they were there to deliver was

"His unit was out on a mission and they encountered some insurgents. Three of his guys were killed, only one survived."

"And Noah?" she asks, clutching the door frame for support

"When the other guy came to after the fight, Puck and another soldier were missing in action."

"How long?"

"What?"

"How long has he been missing Finn?" Rachel cried, having absolutely no patience for him not being the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree at this point in time.

"Six days."

Rachel comprehended the words and a guttural sob fell from her lips and she crumpled to the floor. Finn crouched to her side "You've gotta believe he's okay Rachel, okay? He's strong…if you don't, we're never going to get through this."

"I…can't…he can't," Rachel got out, her breathing labored from her tears.

Quinn crouched as best she could with her expanding belly and rubbed a hand soothingly over Rachel's back. It did nothing to soothe the tightness in her chest and the world swimming before her eyes.

"Rachel, you've got to calm down. You're going to make yourself sick."

But everything goes black before she can even attempt to take Quinn's advice.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Since I couldn't leave you all hanging and based on your reviews, that's exactly what I did, I figured I would update as soon as I could. Certainly shorter than more recent chapters, I've come to terms with that since the action in this chapter starts to get the ball rolling faster. Longer chapter next time, I promise! I'm also pretty sure that this is loaded with mistakes but the SAG Awards made me cranky and I have no patience for a second editing right now. Anyways, thanks for reading!

**Chapter Eight**

The news that Noah was missing in action sent Rachel into a tailspin.

Three days later, her fathers were nearly boarding a flight to New York to be with her because Quinn's reports had them so worried. Hope was quickly dwindling for Rachel and she walked around her apartment like a different person. She barely ate. She barely talked. Worse of all, she suffered from insomnia. She could barely close her eyes for twenty minutes before visions of Noah lying in a ditch somewhere plagued her. Finn and Quinn had basically moved into her guest room, as they were so worried about her current state.

No news had come through. In the military world, no news was bad news. It meant that the unit that had been sent out to look for him or for any information had not found anything. And the one lieutenant who had survived the attack had been unconscious from a bullet wound to abdomen that he had sustained not even minutes after Puck had been shot. He had no information that would help anybody find Puck.

Hearing that he had been shot was hard enough but to know he was missing, having most likely foregone medical treatment was terrifying.

Rachel desperately wanted to call Aviva but she couldn't bring herself to do so. She felt so guilty. And while she knew that she had not been the one to pull the trigger, she had pushed and prodded at him to come home, which had sent him desiring more time in the military. And she knew that Aviva would only try to make her feel better about the situation.

Quinn sat next to Rachel in her bedroom, the anguish rolling off the Broadway actress in waves. It didn't make the scene appear any better that the blinds were drawn shut and untouched food sat on a platter by the bed.

"Rach, you've got to eat," Quinn begged the brunette, stroking her hair gently. "You're going to make yourself sick and that won't help anyone."

"Who can I help?" Rachel whispered hoarsely, her voice basically gone from lack of use. "I ruin everyone's life. Noah, Owen…"

"Oh shut up," Quinn said, rolling her green eyes at the self-deprecating act that she was putting on. She knew that her friend was upset but there was a giant difference between respecting her emotions about Puck being missing and the girl in front of her feeling like she was the cause. The glare she received from the brunette was reminiscent of the girl before all the crap as of late. "_When_ they find him, he will need you strong."

"You don't know that they will find him…it's already been nine days."

"So what? Nine days in nothing. He lasted 24 hours in a Port-a-John in high school and has been in the military for so long…he's a survivor Rach. You can't think otherwise."

Reaching across the brunette's body, she grabbed the phone from the bedside table and started to dial Aviva's number. Rachel watched her curiously as Quinn held the phone to her ear and waited for the other party to pick up.

"Mrs. Puckerman, it's Quinn Fabray-Hudson. How are you?" Quinn greeted and Rachel's eyes went wide as saucers at hearing who Quinn was talking to. "I know, absolutely understandable. I have Rachel here who I think desperately needs to hear your voice." Rachel shook her head but Quinn forcefully pushed the phone into her hand.

Quinn excused herself from the bedroom to give Rachel some privacy. Rachel brought the phone to her ear and mumbled a quiet hello to the woman on the other line.

"Oh Rachel, sweetie, how are you?" Aviva asked and at the question, the brunette fell apart. Why was the mother of her ex-boyfriend making this about her when he was missing? She didn't deserve the kindness she was being extended.

"I just want him home," Rachel blubbered, fat tears making tracks down her cheeks.

"So do I," Noah's mother responded. "But I think if something was seriously wrong, I would feel it in my bones and I don't. I believe…I _have to_ believe that he is going to come back to us."

"It's all my fault," she continued and Aviva immediately argued against that.

"Honey, if I believed that, you would have heard from me a lot sooner and I would not have been in such a good mood," the older woman told her. "This is no one's fault. It's the job and I had to come to terms with that a long time ago. I don't like it and I certainly hope after this he will call it quits, but it is most certainly not your fault."

"Thank you," Rachel told her wiping the tears off her cheeks roughly.

"There's nothing to thank me for. Just take care of yourself and keep thinking positively. Will you do that?"

"Yes, yes of course."

Rachel said goodbye to Noah's mother before calling to Quinn. The blonde poked her head in the room at hearing her name.

"Can you make me a grilled cheese?" Rachel asked sweetly. The blonde laughed lightly but agreed to the request. It was a good thing to see Rachel making moves towards the right track. Quinn should have known all along that Aviva Puckerman would know how to make things right.

* * *

Puck awoke with a searing pain in his shoulder and dull pain pricking his side. He definitely did not recognize his surroundings but relaxed slightly when he saw Cole on another bed, reading a book.

"What the fuck happened?" he rasped, gritting his teeth even as he sat up slowly.

Before Cole could answer him a short, stout Lebanese man entered the room looking pleased that he was awake.

"Good, you're awake. You've been in and out many days, sir." Puck raised an eyebrow. He honestly did not have much recollection of how he had wounded up there, on an old cot with obvious injuries. "My son saw the end of the aftermath with the Hezzbolah camp you uncovered. He came and got me. Finding you two injured, we took you to our home."

Puck learned that his name was Adnan and he was a doctor for the town but he lived on the edge, far away from where the fighting had taken place. Having learned English at the American University at Beirut, he was grateful for the United States involvement when his country needed it.

"I got the bullet out of your shoulder and I patched up your side. It looks like you were burnt by some kind of explosive. But wherever you end up, I recommend another set of eyes look at it."

Puck nodded his understanding and looked at Cole. He needed to know what happened and then they needed to use a phone to let the military know their location. Adnan, sensing the need for confidentiality, left the two American soldiers alone.

"So I'll say it again…what the fuck happened? Last thing I remember was O'Connor's ass on the ground because of the grenade."

Cole got embarrassed but told his friend anyways , "I feel like I giant tool. I got caught by two guys and you came over to grab me. We were almost out but you got hit by a stray bullet and then I got knocked out as well."

"And the others?" Puck asked and Cole shrugged. Both soldiers were in the dark about that status of their friends. "You all right otherwise bro?" he asked Cole

Cole lifted his shirt to show him a large bandage wrapped around his abdomen. Puck had already noted the wound wrapped around his temple.

"We're two lucky bastards you know?" Cole said, the seriousness of their situation extremely prevalent between the two.

"I know that. We just need to let our families know that as well." Puck called for Adnan and he returned to the room. "Sir, do you have a telephone?"

With a smile, the doctor went to fetch the device. Puck was sure he would get an earful from his mother for worrying her but he was pretty sure he could handle that.

* * *

It was the night after speaking to Aviva that she was she shaken awake to find Finn staring back at her with a wide grin.

"What?" she asked sleepily. She was so not interested in Finn's latest theory on how American Idol judges let contestants through during the audition rounds.

"They found him."

Three words had never woken her up faster. She was out of her bed and on the phone to Aviva, not evening minding the red digital numbers reading that it was after 1 am.

It was thanks to the kindness of a stranger that Puck and another soldier were alive. It was take a few days for an army doctor to check them out before they were to be flown into JFK for time to recuperate. Rachel wouldn't take no for an answer as she demanded that Aviva and Sarah stay with her at the apartment.

It was like the old Rachel had kicked and screamed to the surface and not a moment too soon. Food shopping, buying more air mattresses and cleaning filled her day before she retrieved the Puckerman women from the airport.

She may not know where she and Noah stood but she knew that she would be whatever she could for him.

* * *

Rachel wrung her hands nervously as she stood in the airport alongside the Puckerman women, Finn and Quinn. All five of them anxiously awaited the arrival of the two wounded soldiers back onto American soil. But Rachel felt like an outsider despite having met him at the airport so many times prior. Right now, she felt as if she didn't belong seeing as how she was sure that her presence would sour his homecoming for him. Finn sensed her anxiety and threw an arm around her.

"Rach, I think he's gonna be happy to see you. I mean now you two have a chance to work things out."

Finn's sheer optimism was all well and good but Rachel felt like she couldn't get too lost in it. They had been so broken before the demise of their relationship and then him having to see her with Owen? That had all happened. Her doubt in them had happened. It was not like they could travel back in time and erase events.

Rachel heard Aviva cry out and she looked up to see Noah and a blonde young man emerge into the baggage claim area. Puck's left arm was in a sling and he walked like he was sore, but other than that he didn't appear to be too physically beat up. Tears flowed freely from her eyes as he embraced his mother with his good arm. She hung back even though she wanted to run to him, rain kisses all over his face and wax poetic on how happy she was to have him home. But Rachel knew that was no longer in her list of rights. His little sister nearly attached herself to his leg and then proceeded to throw Rachel under the bus.

"No-ah," Sarah whined, "What about Rachel?"

Puck looked up at Rachel. His hazel eyes softened for a moment before they grew hard. It was almost as if he could see Owen wrapped around her. He gave her a curt nod but offered no words. Rachel let out a small, sad sigh. She didn't know what she had expected from him. However, a small part of her was thankful that he hadn't been angry at her presence.

Aviva took note of this but chose not to say anything to her son at this current point in time. His homecoming was to be a joyous one, not one where wounds should have salt poured in them. So instead, she turned her attention to Puck's companion and asked for his name.

"I'm Lieutenant Cole Berger, ma'm. I'm in Major Puckerman's unit."

Aviva preened at hearing someone else mention her son's promotion. Finn grabbed the packs from both Puck and Cole before good naturedly teasing that they packed like they were Quinn going on vacation for a month. That earned him a smack in the stomach from Quinn. Puck chuckled and finally realized that Quinn was very much pregnant.

"Wow, Q…" Puck said, eyes bulging at the swell of the girl's abdomen.

"Crazy right?" Finn asked, his boyish lopsided grin displaying every ounce of pride over his future child.

"Way to go bro," Puck responded bumping fists with his best friend and pulling the blonde in for a hug. The last time she had been pregnant, they had been two scared kids who had no idea how to raise a baby on their own. Now, he had a completely different feeling of happiness for his best friend. They were well on their way to becoming this family that was absolutely made for them.

"Cole is going to come with us until we receive orders, all right ma?" Puck asked. Puck knew the soldier's story and knew that while he had received a huge celebration, Cole would be doing nothing but waiting on a ghost. He really doubted that Jill was ever going to make the appearance he knew that his friend was waiting for.

"Of course, we'll all head back to Rachel's. She's been kind enough to let us stay with her while waiting for you to get home."

Puck stopped in his tracks, eyes blazing ready to launch into a tirade but he stopped upon looking at Rachel. Instead of bossing the shit out of him or even mooning over him, she was…quiet. And if that wasn't enough, his mother's fixed stare told him to save whatever comment he had been ready to dish out and head towards the exit.

"Fine, whatever."

Puck wasn't so sure about this being home business. So far, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N**: Thanks for all the reviews and for reading! Writer's block gave me a little trouble on getting this chapter out but all is well now. Adele's new single "Rolling in the Deep" seriously inspired this chapter and it is an amazing song at that.

**Chapter Nine**

It was his second night being back in New York and everyone was going out for a celebration dinner. Both Puck and Cole had needed to sleep off the jetlag but were now up and at 'em for some good food and being with family and friends.

Well, everyone except for Rachel. She was currently sitting on her couch, absentmindedly flipping through television channels and Puck could tell that she was putting on an act that she was fine with not being included in the plans for the evening.

But as he watched her angrily push the buttons on the remote, he couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth.

"Hey Rach?" he said and she turned around to look at him like he had two heads. After all, it was pretty much the first thing he had said to her since he had gotten back.

"Yes Noah?" she asked, muting the television and giving him her full attention.

"You should come with us tonight," he offered and he actually enjoyed seeing how happy the invitation made her. "You've gone out of your way for us and I know my mom really appreciates that."

Puck was careful to make this about his mom, not him. He was still angry with her over the demise of their relationship but what he had said he had meant.

She had been extremely selfless in giving his mother, sister and himself a place to stay for a few days.

Rachel knew that the flights out here couldn't have been easy on Aviva's finances and that she couldn't afford the additional cost of a hotel room on top of that. So she had given up her bedroom to Aviva and Sarah while Noah had taken her guest room. Humbly, Rachel had slept on the pull out couch.

"Thank you, I would love to," she says.

The only problem is that he knows that look. That look that she gets on her face after agreeing to go to dinner with everyone. It's a look of a hope and joy – all stuff that she deserves to have but not if it is centered around him. But knowing her as well as he does, he's sure that's what she's doing.

Puck can't say he doesn't want her. A part of him will always want her. But his hurt and anger over what happened won't just disappear. And if anything, being around her won't let it any time soon.

Cole makes a comment about how great Rachel looks and she blushes and it's cute as fuck, but he can't say anything. If he does, it leads her on when he can't verbalize what he wants. But he can certainly appreciate the way her tan legs peek out from this navy blue cotton strapless dress and her hair falls over her toned shoulders.

Truth of the matter is that no matter how much his mother has requested that he leave the military, especially after this experience, he hasn't made up his mind. And if he finally figures out that he does want to be with Rachel, his military career will surely start problems.

But what's causing problems that very moment in that very restaurant is Rachel fawning over him. And it's annoying as fuck. It's bad enough that he's got his mom sitting on his right doing the exact same thing but Rachel is across the table and two seats down next to Quinn and yet, she's flagging down the waiter to get him more water or asking if his seat if comfortable.

He thinks that when the food comes out, she'll be focused on eating and things will be fine.

"Noah, that steak looks undercooked."

Wrong.

"It's fine Rachel," he says and with his injured hand gripping the fork and his good hand on the knife, he goes to start cutting his meal. He has been looking forward to this steak since Finn told him that they were going Peter Luger and someone would have to pry it from his cold dead fingers at this point.

But now Rachel has once again flagged the waiter down, after not listening to him and started to send his food back before he finally could not longer contain his outburst.

"I said it's fucking fine, can you just leave it alone? Shit, you're not my goddamn girlfriend."

Rachel blinks at his words before quietly excusing the waiter from their table. The waiter looked thankful to be released from the obvious drama that had overtaken the table that he was responsible for.

"Understandable," she responds and focused on the fish in front of her. She didn't move a muscle and Puck knew that she was trying not to cry.

Great, now he felt like an asshole from yelling at her and it was clear that his mother also disapproved of his outburst. He can't imagine having to spend many more days in such close quarters.

* * *

Four days later and Puck was going to murder his mother. Or kill himself. At this point, he wasn't sure which was more likely.

"Ma, what the fuck?" Puck nearly yelled as he ambled into the kitchen and glared at the woman.

"Noah! Language!" she admonished, rolling out the dough for the challah that she was making in Rachel's kitchen. His mother was hell bent on making Shabbat dinner and she had overtaken the kitchen. Rachel was currently setting the table so he had a minute to try and talk some sense in the matriarch of the Puckerman family.

"Seriously, though…what the hell are we still doing here?" Mrs. Puckerman stopped her actions and waited for her son to continue the obvious rant that he was set on continuing. "In case you didn't get the memo, Rachel and I are broken up. Us staying here isn't a part of some wacked plan of yours to get us back together right?"

His mom looked about ready to clock him in the head with the rolling pin.

"Young man, you should watch your words. That young woman has taken us in, no questions asked despite the status of your relationship. And furthermore, she has been looking out for you. Wasn't it just this morning that she brought your breakfast to you on a tray like your maid?"

Puck rolled his eyes at her explanation. Frankly, he was irritated to be such close quarters with Rachel. He needed to heal. He needed to chill. And having her around, trying to lend a hand was more irritating than helpful. "I don't care. It's probably easing some guilt of her screwing some guy while I was half way around the world getting shot at."

He heard the sharp intake of breath come from behind him and turning around, he caught the sight of Rachel bolting and the slam of her bedroom door.

Shit. He had really stepped in it this time. He hadn't meant for her to hear him but then again that was no excuse for that. Puck may hate the way that Owen had come between them and the way that Rachel had lost faith in their relationship but it wasn't right to demean her as he had just done.

"Noah Elijah Puckerman, you really don't like to listen to me do you?" Mrs. Puckerman said sadly, wiping her hands and joining Quinn at Rachel's bedroom door, they knocked for the girl to come out.

"I'm getting some air," he announced to no one in particular but as he headed to the door, Cole and Finn were following him.

The three men headed to the bar down the street. Sliding onto stools and ordering beers, Cole spoke first to get Puck to see how much he was off base.

"Do you know how much I would love to have Jill to call me and ask me to come home? Your girl…"

"She's not my girl," Puck interjected with the slam of his beer mug.

"Your girl may have made a mistake but I think she's readily admitted that by breaking up with the dude before you were even said to be missing. She has welcomed your crazy Jewish mother into her home and looked to help you in any way that she can. The only thing she hasn't done is played the victim or made it about her which you seem to think that she has."

"He's right bro…Rachel's been there," Finn said "And she's hurting. Maybe not to your extent but she's not the same. I just wish you two could stop hurting together."

"Easier said," Puck said, "I've got the next round."

* * *

"Rachel…" Quinn said, knocking again. "Come out please. He went out. Come out and talk to me. We're worried."

Sarah sat on the couch, not really sure what was going on but she stayed quiet because she could tell that it was of a serious nature.

"Sweetheart, Quinn's right," Mrs. Puckerman added.

The door opened and instead of Rachel ready to talk, the girl was ready to leave, a small suitcase trailing behind her.

"I'm going to get out of his way for a few days. Please don't feel like you need to leave. My offer for you to stay here still stands."

"Rachel, where are you going to go?" Aviva asked worriedly.

"I got a room for at a hotel," she answered. "Me getting out of here is probably best for everyone," Rachel finished with a watery smile.

Quinn gaped as Rachel headed out the front door of her apartment. She had no idea what it was about Puck being back that was making Rachel act so timidly. But it was apparent that Aviva was not going to allow her son to get away with anything.

"My stupid son," she nearly growled, "Call your husband. Warn my son. He hasn't even known Jewish guilt until now."

An hour and a half later, the three men arrived back at Rachel's apartment.

"Noah Elijah Puckerman," Aviva said when her son waltzed in the door, apparently buzzed. Finn looked sheepish at the glare that his wife sent him at the state that his friend had returned in. But she would save his verbal castration until later and instead focused on the one who had run Rachel out of her apartment and to a hotel.

"You're an asshole," Quinn said, hands on her hips which made her pregnant belly seem even more pronounced.

Puck winced at the hostility that he was receiving as soon as he walked in. He further winced at his mother standing with a nearly murderous look in her eye.

"What now woman?"

"You plain ran that girl out of her own home, that's what's up."

"Eh, she probably went to shack up with her ex." Puck said waving off the accusation.

A lightning quick hand slapped him upside the head.

"No, she went to a hotel. To give you some space."

"What?" he asked, taking this news in.

"Instead of ordering you out of her home, she left. She's giving you space. And you, young man, need to fix this."

Puck rolled his eyes at his mother and walked to the guest room. "Yeah, yeah…" he answered, the alcohol in his system making him drowsy. "I'll get right on that."

No one noticed Cole sneak out the apartment door, on a mission of his own.

* * *

Rachel tried to pay attention to the Real Housewives of Miami and all the drama that was playing on the screen, the events that taken place right before she had checked into the Waldorf Astoria currently the last thing on her mind.

She had been sweet talked into the Astor Suite but right now the amazing softness of the mattress to the king bed didn't let her worry about the cost per night. Rachel had had a wonderful night sleep and with the "don't disturb" marker hanging on her door, she didn't deign to do much else except take in some reality television.

The phone in room rang and she eyed it with hostility – someone had just pulled a Teresa Giudice and flipped a table and this phone call was ruining the moment.

"Ms. Williams, this is Ana at the front desk. There's a young man here to see you."

She didn't know how someone had figured out where she was staying as she had used Laurey Wiliams as her reservation name and there were tons of hotels in the city.

And there were only several people who knew her fascination with eventually playing that role on the stage. Rachel rolled her eyes. Noah was undoubtedly present to apologize for his hurtful words and she was unimpressed. Him immediately tracking her down was most likely thanks to Aviva.

"Who is it?"

"He's about 6 foot, blonde hair."

Rachel sighed at Cole's description. She wasn't sure how he had found her but she wouldn't keep him waiting.

"Ms. Williams, would you like security to accompany him up to you room?"

"No thank you Ana. I'll meet him downstairs."

Rachel quickly freshened up and grabbed her trench coat before she rode the elevator down the lobby. She found Cole leaning against the counter.

"You're probably wondering how I found you."

"Do I want to know?" Rachel asked, pushing one arm through sleeve of her coat.

"Puck talked enough about you. I started with Fanny Brice but apparently you were in an Oklahoma! mood," the blonde soldier joked.

Rachel didn't acknowledge the fact that man in front of her probably knew more about her than she cared to know. She headed towards the door of the hotel and he quickly fell in step.

"So you clearly had a need to find me. What do you need?"

"I came to see if you were okay. Figured it might help to talk."

The brunette shook her head. "I've done a lot of talking about the topic. I'm not sure that it will help."

Cole shoved his hands into the pockets of jacket. It was a cool spring day in New York but it was too beautiful for them not to head in the direction of Bryant Park.

"He's hurt. But that doesn't give him the right to act how he's been acting."

Rachel eyed him as they passed by groups of people who were out enjoying the nice weather. Children toddled by the fountain, dogs retrieved Frisbees and balls and quickly loped back to their master and couples in love spent their Saturday in the park.

"What do you want me to say Cole? That it hurts because the way he makes me out to be is as if I looked to end things, as if I sought Owen out," Rachel said, "Which is not what happened in case you were wondering."

The soldier held his hands up in defense. "I've listened to him talk shit out enough but I ain't taking sides. I've got enough of my own relationship drama for that. I'm just saying that you two need to come together and start talking. Because all this not talking? This isn't doing either of you good."

Rachel took a seat at one of the small tables on the edge of the park and Cole followed suit.

"How do I talk to him? Eight years together and even knowing him before then and yet I feel like he's a stranger."

Cole watched the girl in front of him. She looked tired but he could see the desire in her eyes as she watched the couples in the park.

"Well first off, take another night away from everything but then get your ass back to your apartment. You're not going to make any headway being apart." Rachel rolled her eyes but Cole pressed on. "And don't coddle him. He's a grown boy. Let him take the lead and you'll do fine."

"You have a lot of faith in me," Rachel said with a small smile.

"Shit…I just want you two back together so you can stop making each other miserable and everyone around you about ready to slit their wrists as well." Rachel's smile fell and Cole's brow furrowed. "Wait…isn't that what you want? To get back together with the knucklehead?"

Before Noah had been declared missing, she had been on a path to stay single for a while and learn to be herself by herself. But seeing him again and being around him again had made it difficult for her to keep that plan afloat.

"I'm not sure that's what I want…maybe."

"Rachel, that's step one. What do you want?"

* * *

"Shit ma, be gentle!" Puck gritted out as his mother applied a thin layer of antibiotic ointment and changed the dressing on the burns that trailed up the right side of his torso.

Rachel glanced over to where they sat, watching with interest in the way that his mother still babied her 26-year-old son. Turning her back on the two, she returned to drying the dishes that she had just finished washing. She had done at Cole had told her – she had taken the night to give the two of them so space but now she was back in her apartment. The only thing that she hadn't done was figure out what she wanted between the two of them.

"Oh hush," Aviva responded with a glare, "You need to take care of this otherwise you going to have some terrible scarring."

There was still extreme tenseness between the two and she didn't think it was irrational of her to wish that they could just overcome it all and co-exist in the close quarters until he decided what his next step was.

"You need to talk to her," Mrs. Puckerman whispered harshly at her son as she taped the gauze onto undamaged skin. She was lucky that many years as a nurse allowed for her to care for her son when he needed her. But then again, if Aviva wasn't able, she was certain the diminutive brunette whose apartment they were residing in would have done all that was necessary to care for him.

"Don't push it, we're not together."

"I don't give a shit if you're not together," Aviva responded and Sarah turned to look at her mother with wide eyes. "She deserves an apology from you. I'm not taking sides about this whole thing but you were extremely rude and have done nothing to correct yourself. I have no idea how that girl rose above your actions just like that."

"But I'm your son…" he said, like that should be reason enough that he get out of jail free.

"And I'm a woman who sees Rachel's point in the whole thing," Mrs. Puckerman retorted, "I just think that after everything, she did not have to worry herself sick over you being missing in action and she did not have to open her home to us when it was announced you were found. Rachel has gone above and beyond the call of duty."

Puck watched as Rachel went out onto her small balcony and admired the hustle and bustle of the city as the afternoon was giving way into Sunday evening.

"Fine," he surrendered and stood up, favoring his side still. Walking to the sliding door, Puck joined her outside. Rachel's eyes went wide at his sudden appearance outdoors but she would not be the first one to speak as Cole had instructed her to let him lead. Puck leaned against the balcony enclosure and instead of admiring the view of the city from her high floor he stared at her. It unnerved her a great deal and she had the distinct feeling that Aviva had put him up to speaking to her.

"Listen…" he started rubbing the pack of his neck nervously, "I'm sorry for what I said yesterday. It wasn't fair to talk about you like that, especially after everything you've done for me."

"It certainly stung," Rachel agreed.

"It doesn't excuse it but I guess I'm still dealing with us not being together and how you want me to depend on you right now…but I don't know if I can when I don't know when it will be gone."

"Do you want it to be gone?" she asked him, her brown eyes searching his for anything that he wasn't saying aloud. Puck faltered for a response and instead of keeping quiet, she gave into her gut. She didn't know if Cole would commend her or tell her it was stupid to press him for more information. "Be honest, Noah."

With a sigh, his response only made her decision easier. "No, I don't want that."

Puck went back inside without another word.

While Rachel knew that it would certainly not be easy but she didn't want anyone but the man sleeping in her guest room. Time, distance and a relationship with someone else had finally ingrained that in her.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Any mistakes, I'm sorry but I've read this twice and my eyes are crossing at this point. Thanks for reading, I love all your feedback and we're getting closer to that epic reunion that I hope you have been waiting for.

**Chapter Ten**

"Okay thank you, I'll take the appointment," Puck said, ending the conversation with the woman at the doctor's office that he was set to go visit that day to take a look at his injuries and get the clean bill of health stateside.

The only problem was that his mom and Sarah were currently seeing a matinee performance of Mary Poppins, free courtesy of Rachel's connections and he really wanted someone to go with him and take in all the doctor stuff.

Looking over at the kitchen table, he saw Rachel reading the New York Times and drinking her second cup of coffee. She was exactly the type of person that would be helpful in this type of situation. And seeing as he had just confided in her the day before last that he wanted to be able to count on her, this was a great first step.

"Hey Rach, can you do me a favor?" he asked and without a beat of pause, Rachel agreed not even needing to know the rest.

"What do you need me to do Noah?" Rachel asked, bringing her mug to the sink and dropping the finished newspaper into the recycling bin.

"I need you to come with me to my doctor's appointment. Want to get everything checked out."

The brunette nodded her agreement and said she would be ready in five minutes. They headed downtown to the doctor's office and took a seat in the waiting room.

"So what do you need me to do? Do you want me to ask questions?" Rachel asked grabbing an old issue of People magazine and flipping through the worn and torn pages. She was more than happy to help him out but after the blow up at dinner a few days ago and their newly found ceasefire, she wanted clear boundaries before anything like that could take place again.

Puck nodded his head. "You know I'm no good at this stuff. I appreciate your help."

His name was called soon after and they headed into a small exam room. Rachel helped him get the sling off his arm and pull the t-shirt off, seeing as how he had been trying to limit motion of his shoulder since coming home.

Rachel had to stop herself from staring at his bare chest. Even with a bandage taped over his right side, he was still in incredible shape and she had to stop her mind from going to that place where she remembered what it felt like underneath her hands.

She took a seat in the corner and started to list all of Barbra's songs alphabetically to keep her mind on the squeaky clean but the doctor's knock on the door interrupted her at Being Alive.

"Hello Mr. Puckerman, I'm Dr. Whitten. Let's take a look at those injuries, okay soldier?"

Puck nodded and let the doctor go to work at examining him. Rachel watched closely formulating questions to ask of the doctor when he was done.

Puck winced when the doctor manipulated his shoulder to see his expanse of movement. The doctor made some notes before taking a seat on the stool and looked at the soldier.

"Your burn is healing nicely. Your shoulder on the other hand is still tight and I think you would sincerely benefit from physical therapy."

"Is there anything else that he should be doing about the burn?" Rachel asked and the doctor turned to her.

"It looks good. Of course, keep it clean, pat dry after a shower so the new skin isn't disturbed and the antibiotic ointment seems to be doing the trick. Are you his wife?"

Rachel sputtered at the question and shook her head. Of course all her planning to set boundaries were knocked away by the doctor's good-natured question. Thankfully, Puck answered him for her.

"She's just a good friend, doc. Wanted to make sure I was asking all right questions."

"Understandable, well even so I unfortunately can't clear you to return to active service." Rachel's disappointment at Noah's description of her as a friend was replaced with her jaw dropping at the doctor's mention of active service. Puck looked at her and his eyes said sorry but she was too angry to burst out in the middle of the doctor's office. "I'll leave you some names of good physical therapists in the city if that's where you playing on staying for now."

"Yeah, that's the plan," Puck answered.

"All right," the doctor said looking between the two of them as though he had just informed the two of someone's impending death.

Rachel stood up and helped him get his shirt back on and his injured arm back into the sling.

"You're not going to say anything?" he asked incredulously.

"No, I'm not," Rachel replied. Honestly, she was still shocked at the secret that the doctor had let out of the bag but she had no say and was not going to voice her unsolicited opinion and most likely get herself into trouble with him. "It's your life."

"Hmmm," he responded.

They went up to the front and Rachel picked up the names of the physical therapists that the doctor recommended. But it wasn't until she had harassed the receptionist a good deal to find out which one was best on the list that they were able to leave. Puck couldn't help but smile at her relentlessness when it came to getting what she wanted.

Rachel hailed a cab for them but it wasn't until after she had given the driver the address to her apartment that she began to cry. It was a combination of being so angry at his apparent desire to be back in the military and being so worried about him seeing as she has no say in the decision that she couldn't hold it in.

And honestly, she didn't care what he thought right now. Never in a million years did she think that being deployed was on the forefront of his brain.

"Don't cry, it's not that big a deal," he said looking out the window. "I'm not even cleared so the tears are unnecessary. It's not like I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Screw you," Rachel muttered, wiping the tears away. "I'm not crying to get you to not go. I'm crying because I'm scared for you. I always worried you would get hurt or worse and now that it has happened, the possibility is just there."

"Fuck Rach…I'm not like looking for another round of this," he replied motioning to his already injured arm.

"Then what is making you want to go back? What over there for you?"

The cab pulled to the curb in front of her building and Rachel threw some cash at the driver because in her mind, she was done with the conversation. Puck climbed out of the cab and followed her, feeling totally opposite from the diminutive brunette.

"What's over there is a career and responsibility and a group of people that don't think that I'm a total fuck up."

"If that's what you thought I believed of you all these years, I just give up," Rachel muttered as she stabbed the up button on the building's elevator angrily.

"You're so fucking frustrating," he groaned. He was in desperate need of some Advil as he could feel the beginnings of a headache starting to throb at his temple.

"Me?" Rachel screeched, "You're the one who was just injured God knows where and you're suddenly all gung ho to go back. I can't wait to hear what your mother has to say about this." Rachel took a breath and Puck jumped at the chance to speak but he should have known better. "And furthermore, I have always been on your side! I tutored you to get you through high school, I encouraged you to pursue the military and I supported you until I couldn't anymore. You never chose me Noah. Not once."

Rachel got off the elevator and headed to her apartment door, but fresh tears were swimming in her eyes so much that she couldn't get her key in the lock. Puck gently took the keys from her and got the two of them in the door.

"I'm so tired of fighting with you," he said wearily and using his one good arm, pulled her into his chest.

She could cry tears of happiness at him embracing her if she wasn't still upset over his plan to return to the military. But she knew that she too tired of fighting with him.

"I am too," Rachel agreed, resisting the urge to cuddle into the soft fabric of his shirt. Instead, she informed him that she was going to take a nap. She hoped that some rest would let her have a clear head about it being his life

* * *

The next day after Rachel said goodbye to Aviva and Sarah before Puck was taking them to the airport, the brunette joined Quinn to register for baby items before the invitations for her baby shower were sent out. The two had decided to take a break for lunch and without the distraction of shopping, Rachel fell deep in thought. Quinn eyed her suspiciously.

"What is wrong with you?" the blonde asked, pulling the wrapper off her straw.

"I found out yesterday that Noah plans on returning to the military once he's medically cleared."

"Wow," Quinn responded, eyes wide. "How did that come about?"

"He needed someone to go to the doctor with him to be a second set of ears."

"And he asked you? That's a good sign."

Rachel frowned and Quinn could see that that was not the case. "His mom and Sarah were seeing a play."

The mother to be decided not to focus on what her being second choice meant and instead wanted to know what happened. Rachel went over what had happened and how it had come up that he was planning to be deployed again. Quinn squealed and clapped happily at Rachel's mention of the hug that was and how Puck had been the one to put up the white flag over their recent spats.

"I think he was just trying to placate me. I wasn't very nice to him just minutes before."

"Rachel, what did you do?" Quinn asked, ready for just about anything that the brunette was going to throw her way. The waiter interrupted their conversation and they placed their orders before Rachel repeated her exact words. "You told him that he never chose you? Rachel!"

Rachel looked at her seriously. "Tell me when he chose me Quinn. Was it when I pushed at the idea of marriage? Or was it when I basically demanded he fight for me at our breaking point?"

Quinn crumpled her napkin in frustration. "You're killing every hopeful aspect of this, you know?"

Rachel shrugged. "I just don't want to get my hopes up. I mean, I can be there for him and prove to him that I want him but if he decides to go back to the army…"

She let the discouraging end to the sentence hang over them. As Quinn ate lunch, she knew that the two needed a shove in the right direction.

* * *

Puck had just gotten back from dropping his mom and Sarah off at JFK when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

_Get your ass over to my apartment ASAP. _

Puck rolled his eyes over Quinn's text message. Her pregnant was too much déjà vu for high school. She was bossy, moody and all around irritating.

**Why? **

_Because you're a moron… that's why_.

Awesome. As if he didn't get enough harassment from his mother, now Quinn was on his ass. If she was taking this whole motherhood thing for a test drive, he was nearly 100% that he did not want to be the test subject.

But seeing as how if he didn't do what Quinn wanted he would hear about it from Finn and he did not need his best friend mad at him right now. So he headed over to the apartment that the Hudsons' owned.

The blonde was all but down in the lobby ready to drag him up to the apartment by his ear.

"What Q?" he asked, not terribly fond of the look on her face.

"She thinks you never chose her."

"She told you about the thing huh?" he asked rubbing the back of his neck. Puck didn't understand girl code but he knew it was a hell of a lot stricter and more complicated than bro code. He knew that this was Quinn investigating the argument with Rachel from the other day.

"Of course she did. She's one of my best friends. You didn't think she would tell me about progress or lack there of with her ex that currently stays in her apartment?" Quinn's eyebrow was raised as if to challenge him in her statement.

"I guess I should have expected it."

Quinn put a little black box that he hadn't seen in months on her counter. It's not like he forgot about the purchase he had made because it's existence always owned a little corner of his mind. But he had kind of figured that Finn would have listened to him when he had told the two of them to pawn it.

"Why do you still have that?" Puck asked her, annoyed.

"She thinks that you never chose her and you need to change her mind. Maybe you're not at that point anymore," Quinn said motioning to the ring box. "But you should tell her because at that point, your mind was made up that you two would get yourselves together and find a way to make it work."

"It's not that simple."

Quinn threw her arms up in annoyance. "Yes, it is. The two of you are making this so complicated. If you can forgive her and you still love her, do something about it."

Puck turned towards the door, leaving the black ring box on the counter. "I think you need to stay out of it."

The pregnant blonde folded her arms in a huff as he walked out. She was clearly in need of allies to make fix this situation.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes: **So after the worst case of writer's block ever (like I seriously thought my muse had hitched a ride to Mexico or something), I bring you the next chapter. I hope those of you who don't want Puck to just forgive Rachel too easily are happy as well as those who want them to just make up already. I'm to keep a delicate balance here so I hope you all can appreciate that. Thanks for reading!

**Chapter Eleven**

Quinn flopped as gracefully as she could on the bed that she shared with her husband seeing as how she was going on six months pregnant. Finn looked up from one of the papers he was grading before bed.

"Something wrong?" he asked as he graded an incorrectly answered question on depression.

"I have baby brain," Quinn complained irritated. She had not been able to get Cole's assistance in pushing Rachel and Puck together once and for all and with Aviva in Ohio, it was tough to get anything out of the woman other than advice.

Finn put down the papers, knowing that the frustration that flowed off his wife in waves needed to have his full attention or he would be paying for it later. And his back would scream in the morning due to him sleeping on the couch.

"Okay, what is baby brain?" he questioned, seriously not remembering that topic being featured in the baby books. And he read them out of fear for his life. He knew all about nesting and the different phases of labor. He was good to go. But baby brain was seriously escaping him.

"I used to be so good at getting what I want accomplished. Now, I can't even get my two stubborn friends back together without difficulty. This baby is ruining lives."

Finn smirked at his wife's ranting. If he had a dollar for every time that Quinn's focus was on Rachel and Puck, their future child would already have enough money to buy freshman year college textbooks. In truth, he wanted them happy and together as well but if he made it his life's mission to get those two back together, he was sure that a few parents would call the school board upset they were paying tuition for a poorly taught health education class.

"Babe, maybe it's for the best. I mean, you are pregnant. Shouldn't you be focused on your happiness and the baby instead?"

Quinn narrowed her eyes at her husband. "Are you implying that I'm a bad mother?" she questioned.

"Hell no. I just wouldn't want you stressed out because things are not going the way that you would like." There, that should appease her. There certainly was a way to answer a pregnant woman and it had taken a few tries but Finn had quickly caught on.

The blonde smiled and got up to get ready for bed. "I'll figure a way to make things better for the two of them. I just know it."

* * *

Rachel stared at the phone like it was the greatest enemy. Part of her told her that it was only going to end in her own heartache but the lonely part of her, the larger part of her, wanted company. Wanted his company.

Noah had gotten his own place a few days after the doctor's appointment had told him that he would not be returning to active duty quite so soon. So with the money saved from years in the service, he had leased an apartment in Tribeca for the time being. He had told Rachel he couldn't keep taking advantage of her generosity and it had been difficult to watch him pack up what little he had and leave, especially when she wanted nothing more than him to stay.

Cole was still hanging out in the city but had plans to return to Texas a few days from now and it was certainly going to be sad to see him go. He had been a good friend and had served a term or two as relationship advisor. Although he would be a phone call away, Rachel understood that having Cole go back home would be like Puck losing his last link to the military in a fashion.

So now, it was three weeks after he had left her apartment and she was fighting loneliness. Sure she had her friends from the cast that she had been rehearsing and she had Quinn and Finn, but she desperately craved the one person who still didn't want her.

And she would not throw herself at him. She couldn't. It was too desperate and it would push him even farther away. But it wouldn't hurt for her to invite him to dinner would it? From what she could remember, his cooking repertoire was complete with the empty calories of fast food and Easy Mac. And wasn't the quickest way to a man's heart through his stomach?

It was settled. She would invite Noah over for dinner and maybe, hopefully, they would have a long overdue talk without interruption.

* * *

Puck stared at the phone after he hung up with Rachel. Cole watched him curiously as the emotions played out over his face.

Hope. Confusion. Trepidation. Yup, Cole was pretty sure that Rachel had finally taken the first step to working on things between the two of them all by her lonesome. Quinn had been bugging him for weeks, trying to gain his assistance with pushing the two of them together but he had politely told her that it was his belief that the two of them would figure shit out eventually. The chick was pregnant and he did not need her screaming at him in the middle of the restaurant that he had met her in. Quinn had been less than pleased with that response because she wanted the two of them to be godparents to the baby and she didn't want to ask without the two of them being together.

"Pardon me, Quinn, but using the baby as a bargaining chip to get my help on this weird project is not gonna work. The two of them will be good godparents whether or not they are together," Cole had told her and with the huff of a toddler, she had dropped the subject.

And he truly believed that the two of them would get their act together. Recently, Puck would bring up Rachel inadvertently and it didn't seem to even phase him. But now that Rachel was putting dinner on the table, his friend looked shaken to the core. And this guy had survived time overseas where getting injured or dying was a real possibility.

"What'd Rachel want?" he asked casually popping a Combo into his mouth. The two of them had been playing Halo for the last few hours in Puck's brand new bachelor pad and Rachel's call had been the first human contact in hours.

"She wants to have me over for dinner. I said yes."

"That's awesome man. What time? Do we have time for another round?" he asked setting up another game on the home screen. When he didn't get an answer about the game, he looked back over to see Puck in deep thought. "Okay, you overanalyzing the invitation and your answer to said invitation is really unnecessary. She wants to have dinner, not assault you."

Puck nodded his understanding of that but it was the next demand that would set the stage for the rest of the evening. "You have to come with me."

* * *

Everything was ready for dinner with Noah. There was mood lighting but nothing too suggestive that would send the wrong message, so that meant candles but nowhere near the dinner table. She had a few burning on her coffee table and they were scented so there was always that excuse if he called her on it.

She was wearing an adorable black dress that showed off her legs and toned arms but that wasn't too fancy. Dinner was still in the oven but there was wine to be poured prior to. (Don't sue her that she wanted him to open the bottle just so that she could see his muscles flex.)

When the knock came on her door, she took a deep breath and opened up ready to greet him. What she was not ready for was for him to actually be them.

"Noah, Cole…" she said surprised, "Come in, come in."

They entered and it was apparent that Cole felt just as awkward as Rachel felt it was him being there.

"What's for dinner? Smells fucking good," Puck said peering around the apartment.

"Lasagna actually," Rachel said, leaving out the part that it was vegan. If the boys were hungry enough, they would not even notice the change in cheese. Rachel went to go open the wine and surprised when Puck nudged her out of the way and took on the task.

"Go sit," he instructed, "You did enough."

Rachel smiled at him appreciatively before going over to sit next to Cole. While Puck was busy finding a corkscrew and opening the merlot, she needed to get Cole on the fast track out of here.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed and then immediately curbed her tone. "Sorry, I'm not trying to be mean but I distinctly remember inviting Noah alone. And you being here? Not a part of that plan."

"I'm sorry, I figured as much but he was freaking out at his place about coming here alone." Rachel's shoulders slumped hearing that he was nervous coming here. "If it makes you feel any better, I think he only thinks that he needs me here. I don't think he really does."

"Well if that's case, can you make a smooth exit at some point?" she asked hopefully. Rachel wanted to talk to him and with Cole present and accounted for, it was most definitely as him as a third wheel that she was not interested in having. There was no way she could talk with Noah on the level she wanted.

"Let me give him a pep talk and you've got yourself a deal. Go to the bathroom or something."

Rachel took the orders and left the room. Cole went to his friend and assessed the wine opening situation.

"Need assistance brother?" he asked, noting that the cork was almost out.

"Naw, I'm good. Where'd Rachel go?" he asked as he poured the wine into three glasses that the brunette had set out.

"Had to freshen up. How are you feeling?"

"Okay. Not as nervous."

Cole nodded. "If that's the case bro, I think that you should try to fly this one solo. Because if you don't, you and Rachel are going to keep doing this dance. Now, I know you're still upset about everything that happened between the two of you but maybe this is the first step to correcting all that shit."

Puck resigned to that fact. He and Rachel were doing a dance. He couldn't say he didn't think about her. He couldn't say that he didn't think she was the one for him. The only thing that he could say was that after everything he had experienced and what had happened between the two of them, maybe it was worth being just the two of them to just talk. No friends, no mother, no sister. It was her and him and it had been a long time since that had happened.

"All right, get out of here before I change my mind."

Cole clapped him on the back and hightailed out of the apartment. He knew Rachel was scrappy and he did not need to get his still injured ass kicked by a girl. The soldier did send Quinn a text to let her know that the two were alone and would be for a while.

_You're going to owe me a play-by-play ally. _

Cole just shook his head Quinn's infectious need for things to go her way. He couldn't lie and say he wasn't happy to see the two of them start heading in the right direction.

Rachel emerged from the bathroom and seriously expected to see Cole still in her apartment. But to find the younger soldier gone was a happy surprise. Puck handed a glass of wine to her and they clinked them gently in toast.

"What are we celebrating?" Puck asked referring to their toast

"You," Rachel said simply. "I know things are tough not doing exactly what you want right now but you're doing so well by getting a place on your own and whatnot. I'm proud."

"I'll accept that."

Rachel removed the lasagna from the oven and worked on serving him some. It was tough to do when she could feel his eyes on her.

"You doing a new show?" he questioned as she placed the plate in front of him.

Rachel nodded and got her own, explaining that previews for Phantom started in two weeks and opening night soon after that. She told him that she liked the cast, that she had already become friends with her understudy and had agreed to let the girl do a few evening shows because the vocals were going to be tough on her voice. Sipping from her glass, she giggled at the memory of him in her childhood bedroom trying on the Phantom mask right before the Run Joey Run fiasco.

"What?" he asked with a smirk, clearly wanting to be let in on the joke

"Do you remember trying on the Phantom mask in my room when we were sophomores? You were trying to make it so badass."

"It was badass, babe, because I was doing it."

Rachel tried to hide the excitement at his use of a pet name for her. He dug into his food and was clearly still a fan of her cooking from the noises he made as he ate the lasagna, devoured the garlic bread that had been peeking out of the wicker basket on the table and washed it down with the wine that she had chosen to accompany the meal.

"You seem to enjoying dinner," Rachel said lightheartedly, "I had a feeling you've been eating like crap the past couple of weeks."

"You know me too well," he replied with a mischievous grin.

'I used to,' Rachel thought to herself sadly. The man before her was clearly changed and she didn't know if it was simply because he was guarded because of their broken relationship or if there was other reasons behind the tenseness.

"Noah, what happened to you over there? I know the basics but…"

Puck shook his head fervently. Having been there, having seen it first hand. The daily life of a soldier wasn't pretty and the ambush that he had experienced played out in his mind every goddamn day. As the leader of that group, he felt responsible for the lives lost even if there was no way that he could have predicted the attack. But he could have responded differently, prepared differently…fuck he didn't know anymore. He just knew that there were two families without fathers and a girl had a fiancé that was never coming home. "You don't want to know that stuff Rach."

"Why? Why are you trying to make decisions for me? I asked because I want to know."

She reached across the small kitchen table and placed her hand over his. He looked down at their joined hands. The simple touch let him know that she truly did want to know that part of him but he wasn't ready. But he could tell her why that was.

"You not knowing…you being separate from all of that…fuck, you're all that kept me from sliding into this dark place where I was no longer me."

Tears pooled in her eyes at his admission that she was what kept him sane. She wanted to kiss him, to hold him and tell him that he was safe now even if he complained that he didn't need it.

"Noah, I can see what you're thinking and you are still you. Would I be working as hard as I am to get into your good graces if you weren't?" He shrugged. "What?" she questioned

"Nothin'," he said but Rachel wouldn't let him off that easily.

"No, you shrugged which means you don't agree with my statement."

"A big part of me wants to believe that you want to be with me, that we can just go back. But the other part still knows that you dropped me pretty fast for Owen."

Rachel hung her head in shame because he was right. Owen had happened. She couldn't change that in their history and there was no hope in Noah forgetting it either, it seemed.

Puck didn't like seeing her defeated. "Listen, don't get all broken up about that because it's not the end of the world. I'm just saying that it's going to take some time."

He left it at that. He wouldn't make promises because he didn't know if he could keep them. But Puck certainly enjoyed the hopeful look that crossed her face.

"Can you tell me more? About being over there?" Rachel asked scooting her chair closer to him, which he didn't miss. Puck could faintly smell her perfume and it pulled him back to times where he held her close. It was intoxicating.

"Only if you tell me more about the new show," he countered.

Progress. That's all Rachel had hoped for and she believed wholeheartedly that they were achieving that.

* * *

Puck dragged Cole to the school where Finn taught to meet up for lunch before the young teacher finished out the afternoon with more classes. They found an empty deli where they ordered food and grabbed a table.

Cole was still attempting to get details out of his friend regarding the dinner with Rachel. Finn catalogued information for Quinn, sure that any information he could give her about this topic that she had been obsessing over would play in his favor. If she was happy enough maybe she would have mercy on him and they could have sex. It had been awhile for the married couple and Finn was pretty sure it was because she was so focused on reuniting their friends.

"Jesus, after the way Rachel was acting right before you two ended things, I didn't think that you two would ever get back on the right path."

Puck stopped chewing at the comment that Finn made.

"What are you talking about?" Puck questioned, knowing that Rachel most likely had sought advice from Quinn and her fathers but Finn? That was weird.

"Um…yeah," Finn started, getting the feeling that he probably should have not brought the topic up. "Rachel came by the school after New Year's like really upset. We talked."

"Hudson…what did you say? Exact words would be fucking nice." Puck was desperately trying to keep his composure but hearing that Rachel was upset and she and Finn "talked" was not comforting. In fact, it was terrifying. Finn had been his best friend since they were little and despite some bumps in the road in high school, they had always been basically like brothers.

But Finn was not the type of person that Puck went to advice for. Especially not on serious stuff. If he wanted to get a new car or if he was questioning if Heidi Klum still looked good after popping out four kids, sure he would get his friend's opinion. But on matters of relationships and whatnot? There were more suitable options.

Finn recounted his words of explaining that he knew that Puck loved Rachel but he wasn't sure that he was the marrying kind. Cole nearly choked on his sandwich at the words that were tumbling from the teacher's mouth. The murderous look in Puck's eyes was intimidating.

"Un-fucking-believable. You tell me this how many goddamn months later? You would think you might tell me when I came home and bought a fucking ring that you were the one to plant more seeds of doubt."

Puck threw money on the table and stood up.

"Whoa, don't blame me for your shortcomings."

Puck rolled his eyes. "Rachel asked me if I was going to marry her and I said I didn't know. I never said no. You made her think that." He left the deli without another word. Cole watched his friend go and wasn't really sure what to say to Finn.

Somehow Finn felt like he would be sleeping on the couch that night. 


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Notes: Thanks for reading and reviewing! It seems all of your approved my muse running away for awhile...thankfully, I was able to get this next chapter out before that has the chance to happen again.

**Chapter Twelve**

Puck was too angry to be around anyone after hearing from Finn that he had basically torpedoed his relationship with Rachel. He didn't even speak to Cole when the soldier arrived to his apartment in Tribeca. Puck just went into his bedroom and shunned the world.

But awaking the next day, he was still pissed off but now it wasn't just at Finn, it was at Rachel. He had tried so hard to not let the words get to him but he needed to know why Rachel had given up on them and he knew exactly where to find her. He didn't tell Cole where he was headed because no doubt, he would try to stop him.

So he took a cab to the Majestic Theater where he knew that Rachel was in the middle of rehearsals for the play but he could care less. He went inside and watched from the back as they were performing a scene between Christine and the Phantom. There was sparse scenery up and Rachel was in regular clothes, but watching her didn't fail to remind him how good she was at this whole thing.

"Angel! I hear you! Speak, I listen…stay by my side, guide me! Angel, my soul was weak - forgive me …enter at last, Master!" Rachel sang to the Phantom who was in the mirror ready to take her into his lair.

Her voice sounded wonderful but it was probably the highest he'd ever heard her. Obviously she had always been a very talented soprano what with hitting that high note during her and Kurt's diva-off back in high school, but this was on a whole other level. Puck knew that this show was going to be a huge success for her and that she needed to be proud of her accomplishments.

When the group took a break, Puck approached the stage and Rachel saw him immediately, her eyes going wide. "Noah, what are you doing here? Rehearsals are closed to the public."

"When have I ever been one to follow the rules?" he questioned and she grinned.

"True. So what are you doing here?"

Puck rubbed the back of his neck nervously. Now that he was here, he wasn't so much into being the guy that reamed her out with her co-workers milling about and paying more attention to their conversation than their own lives. And the anger that he had felt for her had dissipated in the time that he had watched her onstage. It had manipulated into the ugly feeling of regret. "I had a thing with Finn yesterday. He told me what he told you."

Rachel looked confused but upon Puck clarifying that it was regarding him not being the type to get married, that his own parents' relationship had screwed him up for good, she nodded her understanding. "He did say that."

"Rach…I gotta know, was that the reason you ended it? Because we weren't engaged or married yet?"

Rachel took a step closer to him and touched him gently on the arm. "Could we talk about this later? I honestly would prefer that my new cast mates did not know the ins and outs of my life outside the theater."

Puck nodded his understanding. "Are you guys taking lunch?" This needed to be discussed and he knew it would be better to do it instead of letting it worsen.

"In about an hour. I can meet you?"

"Nah, I'll hang around and pick you up."

True to his word, just a little over an hour later Rachel headed out onto the street and he was waiting for her. They found a place where he could get a burger and she could get a vegan friendly salad.

"Not to put a damper on this," Puck said referring to lunch, "But we need to do some more talking."

"Talking's good," Rachel qualified. She was happy with any form of positive interaction with him.

"Was our breakup about the marriage thing or was it something else?"

Rachel sighed and stabbed a piece of lettuce in thought. "Seeing as you brought this up earlier, I had some time to think about it. Which didn't spell well for me remembering my lines mind you. It was a combination of things. It was having you only your words and your intermittent presence to define our commitment, it was Owen and it was me being desperately selfish and wanting what Quinn and Finn have."

Puck scowled at his friend's name (fucker). "And what Finn said to you? How did that fit into things?" He was hoping against all odds that Rachel had not let Frankenteen influence her decision.

"Finn was there to listen when things with both you and Owen were throwing me for a loop. His advice? It wasn't something really influenced me."

Puck breathed a sigh of relief.

"But I've got to ask. Is that something you do feel?" Rachel asked, referring to his dad leaving.

Puck shrugged. Being raised in a single parent was not the highlight of his life but his mother had done the very best for him that she could. But he had seen what the loneliness had did to his mother and that was what scared him. Sure, she had gone on dates and there had been a few guys throughout the years but there were none that lasted. Usually it was one look at him and Sarah and he was out the door.

If he gave himself to someone for forever and suddenly they realized that they could do so much better than him, where would that leave him? Probably with those same feelings of loneliness and inadequacy that his mother had tried to overcome throughout his childhood. "I'm not against marriage," he said simply. "I just…wouldn't want to go through what my mom did. And you're not selfish. You waited long enough for me and I don't know what made me wait to give you what you wanted. After all, I owe you for getting me out of Lima. You pushed me to do better.."

"I love Kurt dearly," Rachel said, "But you were so much better than being stuck in Burt Hummel's garage and I didn't want to see you waste your life there."

"You still feel that way based on everything?" he questioned.

Rachel thought for a minute. "Yes. I do. You've made so much of yourself and I know that this is just a setback," she said referring to his injury. "My turn," she said, "What were you doing in New York right after….when you saw me with…"

Loaded fucking question. But he was not ready to tell her about the ring and tell her that he was basically ready to beg for her to stay with him. However, Owen being on her arm had ended that plan as quick as it had come to him.

"I wanted to talk to you. Figured we acted a little fast."

"We did," she agreed and he was surprised at her being in agreement. "Hindsight in 20/20. I was upset with everything but I should've waited until you could be home again that we talk. Me doing that to you, put you in harm's way while you were doing your job and that's certainly not fair."

Rachel looked at her watch. "Sorry to end this but I've got to get back."

"Gotcha, no worries."

He walked her back to the theater and when she said goodbye, he was not ready to let her go without knowing when he would see her again. They were finally talking through all of the problems that they had had and could certainly see things with Rachel progressing.

"Can we…do you want to do something tomorrow night? That is you don't have rehearsals or something."

With a beautiful smile and her brown eyes excited, her reaction only made him happier that he had asked. "I'd like that Noah. Give me a call later."

It was getting easier to be around her and if Puck could snap his fingers to erase any of the bad memories he would. He wanted her. He just hoped that she wanted him in the same way that he wanted her.

&&&  
Puck continued to ignore Finn and any attempts that he made to apologize. In his eyes, he and his "friend" needed a small break even if Rachel hadn't been affected by his half assed advice. He placed his focus on Rachel and their quickly growing relationship.

They decided on a movie and even though Puck bitched about the highway robbery at the cost of movie tickets. She nudged him playfully and gave him this look that made him shut up and told him that she would take care of the junk food.

It was a date obviously and he could tell from her body language that she knew it. As she ordered the popcorn and drinks, he stood close behind her, enjoying the closeness of her. Her petite frame had always been something that he loved about her – she was so tiny that he dwarfed her but it made him feel good, like he could protect her.

Puck took her hand as he led Rachel into the theater to find seats. She didn't miss how her heart skipped a beat at the touch. She could scream with happiness that they had talked about nearly everything that lay between and this was the next step in his mind. She playfully kept the popcorn from him and it wasn't until he drew patterns on the inside of her wrist that she shivered and surrendered.

"You're evil," she said with a pout. _Lies_, she thought. Having him hold her hand and stand close to her and tease her with touches was everything that she had wanted from him.

"Born and bred," he teased, "But you know you love it."

Rachel scoffed but he just smirked and settled into his seat, putting one of his arms around her shoulders as the lights went down. The previews were boring – basically an overdone Matthew McConaughey romantic comedy and a horrid remake of Pretty Woman. Puck had given Rachel the choice of movie but already he was starting to regret it.

It was a typical love story with some rebel ex-Disney star opposite a bad boy British import who had to adapt an American accent to keep the film accurate. It was tolerable until the sex scene. Rachel squirmed uncomfortably as Disney star got done against a wall. It was tasteful but with not having had sex in while, she was jealous even if it was a simulation. And having the person next to her that she wanted similar action from? Uncomfortable. But Noah was still was he watched the whole thing, which Rachel could not understand.

When the lights came up and all the movie patrons chatted animatedly about what they had just seen, Rachel was stunned into silence. She didn't know what to say about the movie since the sex scene had been the pivotal moment that had joined the two characters for the rest of the movie.

"Good choice Rach," Puck said with a smirk and he coughed a little in amusement at her flustered silence.

"I'll have you know that none of the reviews denoted that," Rachel said waving a hand at the movie screen. "I'm sorry."

"What are you saying sorry for? That shit was hot."

Rachel huffed. Of course he liked it because it had everything to do with sex. Picking up her trash, she shuffled down the aisle. She would not listen to him go on and on about how the view of the chick's side boob was awesome. Was it not enough that she had to sit next to him and watch sex that she was not getting? Or did she have to hear about the hot factor of the actress as well? Rachel had just gotten out into the night air when she felt him snag her by the waist. She stopped and turned to face him.

"Yo Flo Jo, not fucking fair to leave the injured in the dust."

"I'm just not in the mood to hear you talk about how hot she was." Rachel says looking at the cement dejectedly. That was not her ideal night.

Puck quirks an eyebrow but she doesn't see it because her eyes were elsewhere.

"You're crazy you know that?" he said and she looked up at him, eyes blazing. "I never said that the chick was hot. I said the movie was hot and if anything it's inspired me to do this."

Brushing hair behind her ear, his eyes flicked from her questioning brown ones to the plump pink lips. Before she could say anything or question what he meant, Puck leaned down and captured her lips.

It was not a searching, tentative kiss. It was urgent and fiercely demanding as were the hands that pulled her closer to him. She wound her arms around his neck and he made an approving sound against her mouth.

It had been too long since he had her against him like this, too long since he had kissed her.

And now his phone was going off in his pocket. And ignoring it did not seem to deter the caller as it vibrated again in his back pocket. Breaking apart from Rachel, he slid the phone out of his pocket ready to assault the person who interrupting something that had been awhile in the making.

"What the fuck Cole?" Puck growled into the phone as Rachel leaned her forehead against his chest, still a little woozy from the kiss that he had just planted on her in the middle of the street.

"Quinn's at Lenox Hill. Finn called me figuring you wouldn't want to hear from him. He couldn't get in touch with Rachel."

Puck felt his blood run cold at the mention that Quinn was at the hospital. His gut told him that it was something wrong with the baby.

"We were in the movies but we'll grab at cab."

Puck hung up on the call and Rachel looked at him expectantly.

"We've gotta get to the hospital."

Quinn winced at the pain that she felt from having fallen down a flight of stairs. Even with such a low heel, she had stumbled and fallen down the stairs. Her co-worker who had tried to pull her back from the tumble had called 911 and gotten her to the hospital in record time. But now with her arm set and Finn watching her like a hawk, they were waiting for a doctor from OB to come down and check the baby.

The doctor walked in, white lab coat swirling behind her and she rolled the sonogram machine over to the pensive couple.

"The good news is you put your arm out when you fell and I know it doesn't feel very good to have a broken arm, it may have saved your baby from any harm."

Squirting some gel onto Quinn's bare stomach before rolling the transducer over her abdomen.

Finn lowered his head to Quinn's cheek and kissed her. "Whatever happens we'll get through it okay?" He wasn't trying to pessimistic but realistic. A fall during pregnancy was not good and although Quinn had broken the fall with her left arm, there was no guarantee.

Quinn nodded her understanding as the doctor continued to look for a heartbeat. It felt like minutes until the fluttering of the fetal heartbeat echoed for the doctor and couple to hear. The doctor smiled as Quinn began to sob and Finn held her, his own tears filling his eyes.

"We'll do some more tests but that heartbeat is a very good sign. I do want you to monitor your kick count okay? Let the nursing staff know if there is any change."

The blonde mother still–to-be nodded and thanked the doctor.

"Is it wrong that I want to basically put you in like a giant hamster ball until the baby is born?" Finn asked. He didn't care how stupid that sounded. He wanted his wife and his baby to be okay and if that was even an option, he probably would invest. Quinn rolled her eyes but kissed him again.

"Go call our parents, let them know what's going on," she urged and wiped away the relieved tears from her cheeks.

Finn nodded and headed out into the hallway. He saw Cole, Puck and Rachel sitting on chairs in the hallway looking as worried as he had been feeling minutes before the doctor had alleviated their fears. Rachel saw him first and leapt up, eyes searching for the answer to exactly what was going on.

"Quinn's okay, the baby's okay…she needs more tests but the heartbeat was strong so they don't think that there's anything to really worry about."

Rachel smiled broadly although tears were swimming in her eyes and she moved past Finn to go see her friend. Puck stood and shuffled over to his friend, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. He wasn't totally over the fact that Finn had given Rachel some really shitty advice, but she had told him that his "advice" was not what had decided the breakup.

"I'm glad she's okay bro," Puck said softly and without many more words, the two of them came to a truce. Puck hugged his friend, basically the closest thing that he had to a brother, happy that his friend's future child and his wife were going to be okay.

Rachel had headed into Quinn's hospital room and sat next to her friend.

"We're all so happy that you're okay," Rachel said, holding Quinn's unbroken hand in her own. "Both of you."

Quinn nodded, her eyes filling with tears once again. "I was so scared. If I lost the baby…I don't think Finn would ever forgive me."

Rachel shushed her and rubbed Quinn's abdomen gently. "Don't say that. He loves you and he would never blame you if something like had happened. Your broken wrist is proof enough that you did everything you could to protect this baby."

Quinn nodded and closed her eyes. The low dose of pain medication that the hospital staff had given her for her wrist and other pain was making her tired. "Get some rest. I'll send Finn back in."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **So because I was going to go in a different direction (basically the opposite of the Quinn and the Rachel scene that you'll get to…I was headed for much more angst) this has taken a lot longer to put together. I think I've kept them apart for far too long and it's about damn we get to some happy times. In my mind, Jill is basically played by Candace Accola but with a Texas drawl. Thanks for reading!

**Chapter Thirteen**

After they knew that all was well with Quinn and the baby, the others decided to leave the hospital and head home. Finn had argued his way into sleeping in the chair in Quinn's room, despite displeasure from the hospital staff. Puck understood – his friend wanted to be with his family and if Puck were in a similar position, there would be nothing that would remove him from that hospital room.

What Puck couldn't understand was why Rachel was acting all twitchy. They had kissed and now she was acting weird. Rachel walked quickly in front of him and he shuffled next to Cole, he found himself being his usual in-your-face self ready to confront on what had transpired just minutes before they had jumped in to the cab to go to Lenox Hill. There was no way in hell that he was letting her forget or avoid him.

"So are we going to talk about the kiss or are we just going to pretend like it didn't happen?"

Rachel stopped dead in her tracks, jaw dropped open that he had said that in front of Cole.

"Oh shit, I'm so gone," Cole said with a chuckle, ducked his head and kept walking, putting some space between him and the couple on the streets of New York.

"Well?" Puck asked her again and she blushed prettily.

"You're…we…" she stammered as he stared at her. She couldn't get her words out with him looking at her like that. She truly didn't regret the kiss but with his impulsiveness nature, he could have just done that shut her up regarding the movie.

"Yes, we kissed. It was fucking awesome and I don't regret it."

His words although flawed with profanities were exactly what she needed. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed his this time. The light scratch of his stubble across her chin and the feel of his lips were missed for too long.

"I've wanted to do that since you walked into the arrivals gate of JFK," she told him. He gave her another quick kiss and Rachel knew that was his way of telling her that he had wanted that too. And like the perfect gentleman and despite the detour to the hospital, he ended the date by hailing her a cab and promising to call her.

* * *

Puck's been able to run for two weeks without sharp pain roaring it's way up his side. Of course he's not running the 10 miles he used to while on base, but that would come with time. So for now, he deals with only completing three and giving into the exhaustion. He walks home, music still playing through his headphones but yet taking in the wacky and the weird of New York City. Sometimes he doesn't understand how Rachel can love this city so much – they charge like ten bucks for a beer at a decent place and there is no lack of crazies roaming the streets. But even as he passes the crazy guy that's been roaming his neighborhood since he moved in, he figures that he needs to follow up with some crunches and push ups because like hell is he going to fall completely out of shape.

He figures after that and a shower, he can call Rachel and see what she's up to later. It's been two days since their date and he's not going to lose time with her when he doesn't know what his future entails. But that's a discussion for another day and will require clearance from a doctor before Puck will be listed for active duty.

The elevator doors slide open and he sees a blonde sitting just outside the door to his apartment. Her head is resting on her knees that are curled pulled up to her chest. He would think she was dead asleep if she hadn't lifted her head when he stopped in his tracks at the door. Her blue eyes pierced into his.

"You're not Cole," she says tiredly.

"Nope definitely not. Got a few inches and years on the shrimp," Puck jokes, "He's out for the next few hours getting a physical. He forget that he was supposed to meet you?"

She fidgets a bit before telling him that no, Cole didn't forget about meeting her. "I'm Jill. I don't know how much he's told you about me."

"I know who you are," Puck says seriously and quickly introduced himself to her. "And Cole would kick my ass if I didn't invite you inside and let you chill."

Puck unlocked the door and they went inside. "Can I get you something? Coffee?"

"Coffee would be amazing," Jill said pushing her hair back off her face. Despite looking tired, he can't deny that the girl is stunning. Taller than Quinn and with those ice blue eyes, Puck had trouble remembering that Jill taught first grade instead of gracing the runways. "I took a plane last night. Seems you only have to wait two and half months to find out that your ex-fiancé was injured in combat."

Puck nearly spilled coffee grinds at Jill's statement. Engaged was one word that Cole had never used to describe his relationship with Jill.

"That seems like news soldier," Jill said, her Texas drawl making an appearance.

"I know you were a big part of his life. Didn't get the full story apparently."

Jill took the coffee and accompanying filter from him and made quick work of putting the two together and getting them into the coffee maker without more mishap. "Cliff Notes version? We dated since we were 15, engaged right out of high school and before I knew it he was home telling me that we couldn't be together anymore that I deserved better since he couldn't give me the life I deserved. But I guess nearly four years together doesn't earn me the right to know he got hurt in some godforsaken country."

"I know his parents are gone. Nobody told you?"

Jill shook her head. "If I knew, I would have been on the first plane here. Hell, I woulda raised hell to get to wherever you guys were. You were in his unit?"

Puck nodded, not really sure how she was so knowing.

"So were you the one to save his life?" Jill asked as the coffee percolated and descended into the previously empty carafe. "His cousin told me that someone saved him. Must've been you. Why else would you two be so close?"

Puck shrugged. "Did what was necessary. And if we're looking at the big picture, he kinda saved me too."

Jill raised a brow in question to his statement. "At the time, he was helping me through a tough breakup talking to someone in a similar situation made the…made it tolerable."

She laughed lightly, prettily. "Cole always seemed to be more destined towards something like clinical psychology rather than the military. Boy's got the gift of a good ear."

"Very true," Puck agreed, "So…hate to make this awkward but what are you doing here?"

Crossing the room to the window, Jill didn't give him an answer. But if her body language that she gave off said anything she was in a very similar point in her life to Puck. Clearly, Cole was the love of her life and she wanted to see with her own eyes he was and to care of him. And even if Cole ad no idea of her arrival, secretly Puck was rooting for the dazzling woman in his apartment. His impression of her told him that she was good for Cole, worthy of him. And his friend would be a fool to turn her away.

"Listen, I'm gonna jump in the shower but please make yourself comfortable."

Jill nodded and smiled and he left in hopes that someday other people would see Rachel and him similar to Jill and Cole.

* * *

With the address of his new place from Finn, Rachel waited as the elevator took her to the fifth floor of the brick building in Tribeca. The directors wanted to work with the woman playing Carlotta today and her time at rehearsal was finished for the day. So she grabbed some stupid action films that the kid at the video store recommended and headed to his place.

She found her mind drifting to the kiss more often than she liked because it was distracting. But in his building, she was truthfully hoping for more of a repeat. If she had her way, she would be his focus and the movies would just be background noise.

Finding 5F, she knocked and waited definitely fighting butterflies in her stomach. The butterflies perished when a beautiful blonde opened up.

"I'm sorry…I'm looking for Noah Puckerman? I thought this was his apartment."

"It is. I'm…I actually don't live here and he just jumped in the shower. He was tired after the workout he had."

"I'm sure," Rachel said quietly. It was clear that while she had been thinking about the kiss they had shared and what the future could hold for the two of them, he was "working out" with other very beautiful women. No wonder he had never given her his address. It had all been a huge secret to crush her in the end.

"Well tell him that if had set out to hurt me, congratulations," Rachel said, pushing the movies into the very confused girl's arms. "These are due back on Tuesday."

Before the other woman could get a word in edgewise, Rachel had found the stairwell and walking down the busy street in less than two minutes. Blinded by sadness and rage, Rachel stopped in a frozen yogurt store and got a cup for Quinn and a cup of her own, her vegan lifestyle be damned. The staff at Lenox Hill stayed out of her way as she stormed in Quinn's room.

"Here," Rachel said shoving the cup of chocolate at Quinn before digging into her own, shoveling a spoonful of vanilla into her mouth. Quinn eyed her curiously but ate her frozen treat, gasping at the realization that it was not the vegan attempt at fro-yo but instead the real thing. The blonde, bored at her stay in the hospital, ready to go home and take it easy let Rachel finish her dessert before even attempting to find out what was wrong.

"So now that you've went on your non-vegan frozen yogurt rampage, care to let me know what's wrong? I seem to be missing a lot being stuck in his hospital bed."

"It's all been a huge lie. Huge frickin' lie," Rachel nearly shouted while waving her arms like a crazy person. But then again, the brunette was a Broadway actress and had never shied away from the dramatics.

Quinn frowned. "I can only assume what you're talking about but I'm going to need some more information here."

"Puck," Rachel spat, "He's been doing girls on the side and if I hadn't gone to his apartment this morning, I would have continued on this ridiculous path." She crossed her arms angrily. "Did I tell you we kissed? Well, yeah we did! And I was stupid enough to believe that everything he was telling me was true."

"Let me get this straight. So you two kissed and then you went over to his apartment this morning, without invitation and found a strange girl in his apartment and then he told you that he's been sleeping with her and other women."

From the thoughtful look on her face, Quinn could tell that that is not how things actually happened that morning.

"Well, no. He didn't say that. But she answered the door and she said that he was in the shower after his workout."

"Rachel, you're a smart girl. Do you honestly think the type of workout she was speaking of was sex? Did she look…how would Puck put it…freshly fucked?"

Rachel blushed at the phrase that she very well knew would come out of his mouth. And she also felt shame because what Quinn was saying appeared to make more sense than what her eyes had seen. "I think you need to talk to him. And I have a feeling if she scared the crap out of the girl as I believe you probably have, he will be calling you soon."

Rachel groaned and dropped her head into her hands. "Oh my God, he's going to think I'm some crazy person."

The blonde laughed, "You don't think he already knew what he was getting into with you?" Rachel poked the girl's blanketed lap playfully. Leave it to Quinn to make complete sense of the situation.

* * *

After a nice long hot shower that had probably significantly depleted the hot water surplus in his building, Puck came out of his bedroom, dressed in jeans and a ratty grey t-shirt that had ARMY emblazoned across the front.

"So I guess when they say New York City is full of crazies, they weren't kidding huh?" Jill asked handing him a mug of coffee.

"What do you mean?" he asked pulling milk from the fridge.

"Some girl came to the door, gave me this bag of movies and told me to tell you that if you had planned on hurting her, congratulations. And then she left. Didn't catch her name though."

Puck nearly choked on the hot liquid at Jill's description of what happened at the door. If there were one person who would show up uninvited, at the wrong time, and get the absolutely wrong impression of the apartment's inhabitants, it would be Rachel.

"Brunette, tiny, two clicks past crazy?" he described. If so, he knew that she was probably thinking the worst and was all but setting up a march in the middle of Times Square to let the entire female population know of how awful he was.

"Yes a little crazy but she had pretty brown eyes though."

"It was Rachel," Puck said with a sigh. "She's…"

But before Puck could launch into a length explanation as to who Rachel was, the front door to his apartment was unlocked and Cole walked in.

To say Cole was stunned to see Jill in the same room as his friend was the perfect description.

"So you two clearly need to talk in private and I have a girl to clear things up with so I'm just gonna…yeah," Puck said and grabbing his wallet and keys he bolted out the door. There was no need for him to witness everything that they had to work through. Especially when he had his own situation to deal with.

* * *

There was a loud clear knock on her apartment door and without any other information Rachel knew in her gut that it was Puck. She hadn't been back from the hospital for very long and she had very much expected a phone call just as Quinn had said he would. She hadn't expected him to show up at her apartment and now that she had been so outwardly abhorrent to the girl in his apartment, she felt an embarrassed blush race into her cheeks.

"Rachel, I know you're in there. I can hear you moving around," he said through the door and with a sigh, she opened up.

In hand was a gorgeous bouquet flowers made up of purple hyacinths and pink tulips, which brought a smile to her face.

"Figured that a preemptive bouquet of flowers would assist with the apology I owe you," Puck said handing them to her. "Guy at the store said that this was an exquisite selection or whatever," he added with a shrug.

"I also owe you an apology," Rachel said and shifted the flowers from out of his reach when his face showed surprise. She was keeping the flowers no matter what. "I should have not jumped to the absolute worst conclusion. I'm sure I scared that poor girl to death."

Puck chuckled at Rachel apologizing. The two of them could seriously not get their shit together and it recently it had been over the stupidest stuff.

"Quinn talked me down from the ledge. But not before I gorged on frozen yogurt!" She stepped closer to him and poked him square in the chest. "I'm going to have to double my workout tomorrow to work off all those calories."

In the past, he would have made a dirty joke about how he knew how they could work off those calories but they weren't ready for that. With only a few kisses under their belts, he was more interested in spending the afternoon with her, some stupid chick flick playing on her television and them making out instead of paying attention to the movie.

Rachel let him into the apartment and set about getting a vase to put the flowers in. But of course, she would be totally comfortable until she knew who the girl was. "So who was she?"

"Cole's ex, Jill," he told her and relayed the story about she was waiting outside his apartment after his run.

"So that was the workout she was referring to," Rachel said shaking her head at her own crazy delusion that she had created in a matter of seconds. "I thought…"

"I know what you thought," Puck told her "Which is why I came to apologize. I don't want you to feel like that. You're the only person I'm seeing right now."

Rachel sucked in a breath. "So we're seeing each other?"

Puck shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the hardwood floor. "I mean…unless that's not what you want or whatever."

The brunette abandoned the fixing of the floral apology and went to where he stood. She tugged his hands out of his pockets and held them in her own. "No, that's what I want. But I do want to keep it slow if that's okay."

The kiss on her hair was her was his definitive okay with keeping things slow. Both were not looking to get hurt again.

* * *

**Coming up:**

Puck gets news that he's not sure how to deal with and Rachel is there to help him through it, bringing the two even closer.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** I apologize for the level of suck in this update. It shouldn't feel like filler but I unfortunately think it does. But I think amidst the level of sucktitude, you can see some progress between Puck and Rachel. If you squint really hard. And cock your head to the right.

**Chapter Fourteen  
**

Things had some sense sort of normalcy in Puck's mind once Quinn got released from the hospital. She was out on short-term disability from her job, which would be directly followed by maternity leave as soon as the baby was born. She was happy as she had time to prepare the apartment for the baby's arrival and enjoy life before she took on the role of mommy twenty four-seven.

Cole acted the same so it was definitely not easy to get information about what was going on with Jill. But what he had found out was that she was sticking around New York and they would go back to Houston together. Of course, she was staying in a hotel and there had been a few nights where Cole had not come back to the apartment and without verbal confirmation from his friend, Puck could only assume that the two were back together.

He wouldn't knock it though. With him and Rachel back together, he was pretty fucking happy. His mom was going to visit in a week and he had another doctor's appointment that he would hope would help him make decisions for his future.

Now it was the day before Cole was set to head back to Texas and he was ready to bid the bustling city of New York a proper farewell. The two couples had taken him out to Gramercy Tavern for dinner but the Special Forces soldier wanted to have one last night out in the city that never sleeps in a particularly good dive bar.

"Okay, fuck it. It's my last night in New York, we're going out," Cole said.

"Oh Cole, I don't know, I've got rehearsal at 8 tomorrow morning…" Rachel said, looking at Puck and getting no back up from him.

"Rachel, enough bullshit. You can handle a weeknight out. Take this poor soldier out for a good time! You need to take me to your favorite place."

Rachel, Finn and Quinn looked at each other and all simultaneously mentioned The Grog.

"What's The Grog?" Cole asked, participating in their excitement. Puck rolled his eyes because he honestly didn't love the bar as much as the other three but maybe it was because he could only count a handful of times that he was there.

"This old bar we used to go to, they have live music and open mic occasionally. It's awesome man," Finn said

"All right, it's settled. I'll call Jill and we're going. Oh and if there is open mic, Rachel you're singing with me."

Rachel's eyes widened at the forwardness of the blonde soldier. She had not sung for fun in front of a crowd in a long while and she certainly had not sung for Noah as of late. It would be certainly be a change of pace and Rachel wasn't positive it would be for the best. She guessed that her facial expression dictated that she didn't want to so Cole followed up with the clincher. "You're really going to say no to a guy that took a bullet for your country?"

"You are terrible," Rachel replied at his use of service for the country to bargain her into singing at the bar. But in truth, she couldn't say no if she even tried.

"He's almost more dramatic than you," Puck said and placed a kiss on her temple to soothe her after his own barb.

"Don't worry, he won't take your crown Rach," Quinn said with a grin.

As luck would have it, The Grog had a band that was finishing up as he group arrived and then the microphone was open for anyone willing to get up and perform. Cole made a big deal out of the fact to Rachel who just rolled her eyes, even though the soldier's attitude was infectious.

Cole sat next to Rachel and shoved a piece of paper at her.

"What's this?" she asked examining the writing.

"The song we're singing. You're an actress, you should be able to memorize this in no time."

Rachel stuck her tongue out at him in rebuttal.

"Get me a shot of tequila," Rachel said and stared at the paper trying to memorize them, because even though her wheelhouse was impressive she did not know this song in the least. He returned with the liquor and she knocked it back easily. A little liquid courage was needed to accomplish this.

Fifteen minutes later, Cole had gotten some guys from the house band to play a few other instruments and was finishing a quick tune job on the lead guitar while Rachel was wringing her hands in anxiety. She was pretty sure that she could handle the song but she was about to very much make it her own as she had never heard it before. Rachel could see that Jill was now sitting with the others and Rachel gave her a little wave now that the air was clear between the two. It had been a simple misunderstanding that the two of them have laughed about, loudly, over coffee a few days after the incident.

But now was not the time to daydream. The band started up on the song and Cole took on the first verse. It really wasn't difficult to get into the mood of the song and the lyrics seemed to course through her ready to flow from her mouth at the right moment.

"I really hate to let this moment go, touching your skin and your hair falling slow. When a goodbye kiss feels like this," Cole sang, looking at Rachel and she joined him for the chorus, the two of their voices harmonizing perfectly.

"Don't you wanna stay here a little while? Don't you wanna hold each other tight?

Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight? Don't you wanna stay here a little while? We could make forever feel this way, don't you wanna stay?" they sang pitch perfect. Rachel honestly had almost forgotten what this type of rush felt like. While it was true that she was stage in a Broadway production singing songs by the magnificently talented Andrew Lloyd Weber, there was a something so different about singing for fun and having all these eyes on her almost as if they had not expecting her voice to escape from her and for her to conquer every note.

As the music mellowed to her verse, Rachel gave Cole a look before turning her gaze on Puck in the crowd. "Let's take it slow, I don't wanna move too fast. I don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last. When you're up this high, it's a sad goodbye." The words spoke to her and from the look on his face she knew that he took understood why she was singing to him. They were taking things slow because they both wanted things to last between them. Saying goodbye had been too difficult the last time.

Rachel hit every note and Cole didn't falter once on the guitar. For the first time that Rachel was hearing him sing, she was certainly impressed with both his vocal ability and his talented guitar playing. It was not a shock that they receive a huge round of applause and even had their own little fan club that probably shouted louder than everyone.

Invigorated from the performance she got off stage and craved some fresh air. She grabbed Noah by the hand and pulled him outside. He leaned up again the brick of the building and watched as Rachel smiled from ear to ear, still riding the high from the performance.

"You were great up there," he said sincerely.

"I felt good up there…I think I take it all for granted. Singing on a stage for a crowd. Singing for fun is so exhilarating, I miss doing it."

"Then you should do it more," he encouraged.

Rachel blew out a breath that marked her disbelief in that statement. "I wish…Phantom starts previews in two weeks and then comes the run. My life is going to be that show for the next long while."

Puck knew she was telling the truth. Her binder that housed the script, her score and the rehearsal scheduled was enough to make him cross-eyed.

"Then after this, you should take some time. Maybe you should try making a record or something. Didn't the chick that originally do your role fucking ages ago do it?"

"Sarah Brightman," Rachel responded, "But she was a completely different type of soprano and she was married to Andrew Lloyd Weber.

"And you're Rachel fucking Berry. Make it happen."

She rolled her eyes at his push for her to make everything happen that she dreamed. On the other hand, it was sweet that he was encouraged her to do everything that she even deigned to dream. Rachel figured he was now returning the favor for her having him always pushing him to do more. But a part of her worried that he was encouraging her to do more of what she wanted because he was planning on going back to the army. Before she could stop her brain, she was asking about his doctor's appointment.

"So you have the follow up with Dr. Whitten tomorrow morning?"

"Yup," he answered. He wasn't sure what was going to come out of it but he knew he wanted to get back to his old life. Sitting in his apartment healing wasn't helping anyone.

"I wish I could go with you but with rehearsals…" she started

"I know," he responded, "But I'll see you later on."

"We should get back inside," Rachel said giddy at the fact that she did not have to beg and plead for him to make plans with her. Forgotten was getting more information on where his head was at regarding returning to army life. Grabbing his hand and threading his fingers with hers, they went back into the bar. They stumbled upon Cole down on one knee, little black box opened up to Jill with both Quinn and Finn watching in stunned silence.

"I've thought a lot about this and one thing I kept saying to Puck is that if you came back to me I would be over the moon and I would never make the same mistake again. Because ending things with you made me less of the person that I want to be more than I ever realized. Now, marry me and promise that you will never take this ring off again."

Jill wiped away the tears that had just barely escaped her eyes as she nodded rapidly. Cole grinned and kissed her quickly as he put the ring of her finger.

"Y'all are coming down to the wedding so you better figure out what airline you're taking down to Texas," Cole said excitedly to the other four.

Puck watched the newly engaged couple, jealous that it had taken them only a matter of days to work through their problems where as he and Rachel had had weeks. But as she wrapped her arms around his torso, he figured that they would have their time soon enough.

* * *

Puck didn't get much sleep that night, too preoccupied with the knowledge that his friend was headed home early the next morning. While he was happy that Cole was no longer heading back to Texas alone and was actually getting exactly what he had been wanting for a damn long while. A home with Jill is exactly what a genuine person like Cole deserved.

Puck wasn't sure how a lack of Cole would affect him. After all, it was the soldier who had gotten him and Rachel back on a good path and who had encouraged their continued progress. Plus, it had been him that had been such a great friend to him while overseas, the absence would probably be palpable.

Realizing that sleep was no longer an option, he got out of bed and made coffee, ready to read the paper and watch his friend leave.

Cole woke up about an hour after Puck had devoured the sports section, Jill also present and accounted for. Cole didn't have much stuff and had only acquired a few new shirts and pairs of jeans since they had been staying in New York, so his packing was basically non-existent.

Jill said goodbye to Puck first, to give the boys a minute to themselves to say goodbye. "Thanks again for taking care of him. I wouldn't have the chance to start a home with him without you." She hugged him and took one of Cole's bags out into the hallway.

Puck didn't want to get emotional about his friend leaving but apparently that was not in the cards.

"Listen, you need to keep things the way they have been with Rachel. She's good for you bro and you need people like her in your life to keep it full and great. I used to believe that I would find someone else, whenever I was done with my military career but I think us getting injured was fate because now that I have Jill back I never want to let her go."

"You bought the ring to prove it," Puck added.

"And so did you," Cole retorted.

"Fucking Quinn," Puck muttered knowing innately that the other blonde had spilled the beans regarding his own purchase.

"Don't blame Quinn. At least she manned up and told me something so important. Why haven't you done something about it?"

"Not fucking ready yet," Puck answered gruffly. Why didn't anyone understand that he was not ready to propose? Wasn't it understandable that he was fucking trying to take his time when it came to this relationship, the second time?

"Whatever dude, I don't want this to give a sour note to my leaving." Cole said holding up his hands in defeat. Puck held his hand out to shake but Cole knocked it aside and pulled him in for a hug. "Take care of yourself okay? I don't want to have to drag my ass back to New York because you need to be put on a high protein regimen or some shit."

"Same goes for you, ass," Puck responded as the soldiers broke the short embrace, "The only reason I willingly want to go to Texas is for your wedding."

Cole grinned. "I'm getting married."

"Yeah, as long as you don't keep your woman waiting forever," Puck teased and opened the door to show Jill, absentmindedly playing on her phone.

Jill gave him a final little wave before they took up Cole's bags and headed to the elevator. It was not until they were in a cab on the way to the airport that Jill asked him if he would miss it.

"I'm going to miss seeing Puck finally realize that trying to keep things slow with Rachel is pointless. They belong together and I have a feeling that she needs him just as much as he needs her."

* * *

Puck sat on the examination table waiting for Dr. Whitten to come in and do the follow up exam that came after the rehabilitation that had been recommended on the first appointment. He had gotten a few x-rays taken when he had first arrived and he presumed that the doctor just needed time to review them. Not to say he wasn't bored as fuck. And the only magazine staring back at him in the plastic pocket on the back of the door was Good Housekeeping. The doctor would seriously have to check for his balls if he picked up that to keep occupied.

Two curt knocks on the door and Dr. Whitten walked in with another male doctor that had Dr. M. Royce embroidered above the left pocket on his crisp white lab coat.

"Noah, I've reviewed the x-rays from just before and it looks like you're going to need more surgery. I've brought Dr. Royce in because he's the best in this practice for a procedure like this."

"More surgery? What the hell? Why wasn't this caught the first time?" Puck fumed angrily. Surgery was not supposed to be the end result of today's appointment. He was supposed to be cleared. He was supposed to be able to have options. Now, everything that had been possible seemed to suddenly seemed hazy.

"It seems that as your shoulder has been healing, it has been building up scar tissue which is impeding on your rotator cuff. Remember when I said it was tight? The tightness is because you're missing some space for the rotator cuff to move around."

Puck felt a combination of rage and upset at hearing this news.

"What does this mean?"

Dr. Whitten dropped Puck's health records down on the room's countertop and gave the young man a sympathetic look.

"It means that the surgery will push back you getting an all clear for the military. And…that is if at all, I'm not 100% on military medical guidelines."

Puck rubbed the back of his neck. He had always had this miniscule part of him that thought that his check up might not give him exactly what he wanted. But he had honestly thought but doing everything right, he would have earned his old life back.

"In the mean time, before the surgery..uh..what should I be doing?"

It was time that Dr. Royce spoke up. "You can keep up with cardio but weight lifting and heavy exertion on your shoulder should be avoided. Are you able to schedule the surgery today? I think it would be for the best to get something on the calendar soon." Dazed, Puck nodded, "Okay, one of the girls at the front desk can schedule the surgery and go over pre-op preparation."

* * *

Rachel eyed her phone, waiting to hear from Noah just as he had promised her that he would a day earlier. But now it was nearly 8 pm and she had been out of rehearsals for hours. A person could only entertain themselves with household chores and mindless television before being antsy overcame them. So now, Iron Chef reruns were playing on the television and she had just finished folding and hanging up a load of laundry.

She grabbed her phone and idly passed it between her two hands before Rachel attempted to construct a non-accusatory, non-annoying text message. But before she could give it much thought, a message popped up on her screen.

_Buzz me in. _

Rachel's brow furrowed. It was from Noah but even from just his words on the screen, she could tell something was wrong. The message coupled with not hearing from him all day spelled trouble. However, she would have time in a few short minutes to play detective so she pressed the button to open up the front door to her building and waited in the open door of her apartment for his arrival.

Automatically, Rachel could tell that he had spent adequate time in a bar that day. She could make out the stale taste of beer as he gave her a quick kiss and he had definitely walked through a couple clouds of cigarette smoke. Rachel followed him into the apartment and watched as he laid down on her couch.

"Are you okay?" she asked him.

"Will be," he responded, "Come 'ere."

When she got close enough, he tugged her by her wrist so that she got the hint to wedge herself into the space between him and the back of her couch. Due to her size it was easily done but it worried her that he wanted her so close and yet had barely said anything.

"Noah…what happened?" she asked, wrapping her arm around his torso. It was nice having him so close but her worry overshadowed anything else.

"I need to have surgery on my shoulder and according to the U.S. army rep that I spoke with today, I need to have full range of motion to return to active duty on their end."

Rachel swallowed the lump in her throat that formed at his mention of his desire to go back to the army. Once again, she was not ready to deal with that.

"And Dr. Whitten said you wouldn't have full range of motion?"

"There's risks to any surgery but it's to remove scar tissue so he can't give me a definitive answer. I just…I guess I've never put very much thought into what I will do once I am no longer in the army."

She wanted to ask follow up questions. Rachel needed to know; now that she was putting herself out there again, just as he was…would this last if he did go back overseas? But in the moment when she could feel he just needed reassurance, she gave it.

"You will find something else if you can't go back to the army. And whatever you choose, you will be successful."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: **I think this chapter finally ends the slow steady build. Obviously, if you're not old enough to be reading this...don't.

Chapter Fifteen

Puck woke up and didn't immediately recognize where he was. But finding Rachel next to him and infomercials for paring knives playing on the television gave him the answer that the two of them had fallen asleep while talking earlier in the evening. His body immediately told him that sleeping on a fucking couch was not a good idea.

The clock on her cable box said it was a little after 2 am and he was sure that Rachel needed to get herself into her bed to rest before another day of rehearsal. Previews were next week and although she hadn't asked him, he had worked out a surprise for her. With Quinn's help, he had coordinated for all of them to be there on the first night of previews and to attend on the second night, with her fathers and his mother as well. He knew that she was going to be shocked and surprised, but she deserved it. Especially when she had been so helpful to him and so understanding about what he was feeling when it came to his now uncertain future.

Puck nudged Rachel a little and he couldn't help but smile when she made the cutest fucking noise at his attempt to wake her up. Instead of getting her to completely wake up, Puck got up off the couch and picked her up. He knew the doctor said to watch heavy lifting but for just this once he would pick up his diminutive girlfriend and get her into bed, shoulder be damned. But the movement woke her up more than his nudging and she mumbled against his shoulder, "Your shoulder dummy."

"Be quiet and go back to sleep," he said depositing her on the bed and maneuvering the covers to get her under them. Puck dropped a kiss on her head and told her that he would see her tomorrow. But before he could more than a step away from her bed, she grabbed him by the wrist and asked him to stay.

Puck looked to her and he doesn't exactly know how but they just went from zero to 60 in about five fucking seconds. Her thumb is stroking the sensitive skin inside his wrist and her brown eyes were on a seek and destroy mission as looking into them made him want to never leave her apartment. Clearly sleep was now the last thing on her mind.

"Rach," he said lowly, warningly. "You know if I stay…I thought we were taking things slow."

"Maybe I can't take it slow anymore," she said and moving from under the covers that he had so meticulously placed her under. She stands in front of him, just close enough to him that he can feel the heat radiating off her body and that his hands are close enough to touch.

"You're making it extremely hard to walk away right now," He says quietly, as he trails the curve of her breast and the dip of her hip. He knows he's being redundant, but he wants to make sure that they are both entering into this with level heads. He wants her, that's for goddamn sure but he wants…no _needs_ to make sure that she's thought this through.

"Exactly the point." Something snaps inside him at her words, but Rachel is already pulling him closer. When her breasts meld with his torso, he almost moans out from the delicious press of their bodies.

"Rach…" He breathes out, but the brunette refuses to abide, snaking a hand under his t-shirt, teasing the soft hair at the hem of his boxers.

Puck unconsciously sucks in his breath as her fingers play with the waistband of his boxers, threatening to slip inside and make him incoherent with need; however, the gentlemen in him wins over his animalistic desire, as he wraps his hand around her wrist and as gently as possible removes her hand from his body.

"Noah." Her soft voice echoes in his ear, as lips lightly trace the shell of his ear.

"I don't want to rush." He tries to explain, but his body is betraying him. It reminds him that no matter how many times he has found himself like this with her, each time seems more like the first and most exciting experience of his life. It has never felt this good with anybody else and he knows its because his heart is involved when it comes to Rachel.

"You're not rushing me, it's right," She says and breaks through his conscious, and in the early hours of the day, the sincerity in her words makes Puck swallow for a whole different reason.

He wants to shut his eyes and take a deep breath but he doesn't want to stop looking at her. "God, you have no idea how badly I want you right now." He admits, hands unconsciously roaming over her body, "You're too beautiful for your own good." He compliments her, brushing a few stands of hair from her face, in the process tracing her cheek with his thumb.

She blushes despite the tears pulling in her eyes, her lack of confidence in her physical looks always lying beneath the surface. Of course, she was on Broadway but the anonymous hate that came across the Internet about her looks was anything but assurance building. Her insecurities are quickly overshadowed by Puck's lips on her cheek as he drops kisses on her face, no doubt teasing her as she feels heat radiating off his larger body. When he descends to her throat, tongue gently lathing the skin, she doesn't hold back anymore and pulls him away from her, eyes purposefully seeking out his, so she can convey to him exactly how she feels.

"I need you Noah," Rachel tells him and she knows innately that she does not mean just right now.

A statement so simple, yet so powerful that the soldier can't contain himself and pulls her closer, eyes connecting in understanding before he kisses her with more vigor than before. Guiding her to the bed, Rachel responds to his kiss eagerly. His hands pull her a bit on top of him while she pulls his t-shirt up, the contact of his heated skin against her still clothed body proves to be too much and she straddles him, grinding against him, making her need present and all consuming.

His hands find the hem of her sundress and Puck wastes no time in getting her out of it. She smiles devilishly when his eyes glide over her body appreciatively. He watches her curiously, hands running up and down her sides, dangerously close to her breasts, but not quite there, because he doesn't want it to end so soon.

Despite what happened between them, in this moment, with her so open and vulnerable to him, running his hands down her body, they're just Rachel and Noah, Broadway actress and soldier, a relationship that was never given a proper chance once he went overseas. Puck knows he cannot deny her, as she leans into him, her soft curves lightly touching his body, and in her melodic voice says,

"Make love to me Noah."

He responds by kissing her and laying her down on the mattress. His mouth is still tender and tentative upon her, and as his hand runs up her thigh, tracing the hem of her underwear, Rachel pulls his body even closer to her, just to feel something other than the hollowness and ache that have become this bed's closest acquaintances in the last few months.

She arches into him when he leans down and unceremoniously pushes the fabric of her bra out of his way before he pulls a swollen nipple into his mouth, applying just the right amount of pressure to make her moan out, but not enough to give her the release she needs.

"Noah." Her voice rings out in the silence. They both know what she's asking, the way her body is responding to his touch, and the shallow breaths coming from her.

His mouth mapped a trail down to where his hand had just been and he quickly rid her of her last article of clothing. It was all so much more intense than she could have ever remember. She'd forgotten how good he was at this, but with the first firm flick of his tongue across already over sensitized flesh, she quickly remembered. She moaned in delight at the sweet, hot pressure of his mouth.

His tongue was magic, swirling and dipping to her aching core. First one, then two fingers slid inside her, teasing against a bundle of nerves that he seemed to be expert in finding. The firm pressure of his fingers sliding slowly in combined with his talented mouth brought her to release. Her back arched off the mattress and Rachel cried out in ecstasy.

Rachel's hands unclenched the bed covers and flopped, palms up on either side of her head. Slowly, she became aware of Puck, kissing his way up her belly and rib cage. Puck leaves his close proximity to her for mere minutes so that he can rid himself of the last of his clothing and get a condom. He's no longer sure what Rachel's birth control plan entailed and now was not the time to ask.

Puck crawled up the bed a bit and his hand reached up and threaded it through her chocolate brown hair.

"Ready for more?" he said to her and moved over her, hitching her right leg over his hip.

"God yes," she replied, grazing her teeth lightly over the sensitive skin of his neck making him shiver involuntarily.

Puck slowly entered her, inch by tantalizing inch, until finally he was buried so deep that Rachel let out a guttural moan. She was hot and tight around him. The slick pressure and friction of him inside her sent renewed heat coursing through her.

"You okay?" he asked. His face was drawn in tight lines of concentration, and his arms trembled a little as they supported his weight.

He looked perfect as he held himself above her, his entire body rippling while he struggled to maintain control. She rolled her hips and he groaned.

"So…good," she mumbled.

She slid her hands down his back, she grasped his butt, pressing him even more deeply inside her. He began to move, slowly sliding in and out, groaning as she squeezed around him. He hooked his hand under her right knee and opens her wider, driving him deeper, making them both moan at the sensation.

Rachel heard her moans with ever thrust. Her nails dug into the hard muscles of his back, and her cries urged him on until another orgasm hit her with such force, she could have sworn she saw stars

He holds back all his emotions and channels his energy into their coupling, until he feels Rachel tighten around him and moan his name, sucking in her breath as she always does before she comes.

When her orgasm finally hits, the shockwave travels through him and Puck feels his muscles tighten as heat spread through his entire body, consuming him completely as he empties inside her.

He cradles her to him, intoxicated by her smell and her softness and the little sounds she makes that intensify his release. Everything with Rachel is better; he's sure of it.

They lay together afterwards and he's just enamored with this sleepy smile that Rachel is wearing. "You need sleep," he instructs but she shakes her head in disagreement.

"Too happy to sleep," she contests.

"Ok well don't be blaming me when the Phantom doesn't want to kidnap your ass when you're yawning all over the place in like four hours."

As if on cue, Rachel's face scrunched up in a yawn and Puck chuckled at her impeccable timing.

"Shut up," she said rolling away from him and burying her face into the pillow in embarrassment. She finally looked back at him and was alarmed to see how much love she saw in them. But she was sure that much like her, he was not ready to say the words. "You'll be here when I wake up right?" she asked softly and with his affirmative nod, she cuddled into his side. Rachel didn't want to sleep but knew that she had to out of necessity.

* * *

The next day, Puck brought Finn food at school, an almost unmovable grin on his face.

"You look way too happy," Finn said, biting into his sandwich. "What gives?"

Out of respect for Rachel, Puck kept it PG despite Finn being a perv and wanting more detail.

"Wow, so this is like serious. Even with the possibility of you going back?"

"That's looking like less of a possibility with my surgery. And…I don't know, I think I'm starting to see the big picture. That yeah, it sucks that I didn't finish the way I wanted but I had a good career. Maybe now…maybe now is the time to support Rachel and start something else."

"Hmmm," Finn mused, "Such as what? School?"

"No clue, figured my ma might have some insight into the whole thing." He was picking his mom up from the airport in two weeks day and he was sure that she was have some good input on what his next move should be. Puck was pretty sure that he was going to go deaf from her screaming once he owned up to him and Rachel actually being an item again.

"Good idea," Finn agreed, "I'm happy the two of you are figuring things out."

"Same," Puck said, "She's so strong an I never really saw that. She deserves so much more."

"Like an engagement ring?" Finn surmised

"Don't fucking push it," Puck replied throwing his crumpled sandwich wrapped at his friend. He figured hitting a teacher in the school that he worked was probably a poor choice.

"You suck dude. It's not like you have to go buy one. It's sitting in my apartment."

Puck just rolled his eyes and Finn raised his hands up in a final defeat. "Okay, let me just say my final piece without you interrupting me and that's it. I won't bug you about getting engaged to Rachel again."

"Right," Puck said with an unconvinced snort.

"I'm serious dude. I have a kid on the way. I have more important things to think about other than your happiness. Let me just get this out."

Puck kept quiet and let Finn have the floor. "I think you're looking at this all wrong. Instead of looking of being engaged to Rachel as a good thing, you're scared straight because you're thinking of it as a prison sentence or you're still thinking of it as a way to stop the two of you from breaking up. Getting engaged just shows her that you've given the two of you enough thought for something beyond tomorrow and that you're not just going to disappear at a moment's notice."

"You about done? I feel like I'm Oprah," Puck said feeling awkward at how much thought his friend had put into his current situation.

"Screw you, I'm almost done," Finn replied ready to give the one-two punch to this conversation because just as he had promised he would be finished with it. "You're making her feel like she will be apart of whatever decision you make for the future. And for someone like Rachel, that's vital."

Fuck, he really hated when Finn made sense.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Waking up with Rachel was kind of perfect. It just utterly sucked that she generally had to run off to rehearsals. He wanted time to spend with her – Puck was thankful that the cast was being given a rare night off so they could have dinner with Quinn and Finn, just relaxing. His surgery was next week and his mom was coming into town. Knowing that Rachel would be too caught up in dress rehearsals to play nurse (as much as that fantasy rocked), his mom would around to help him out as his shoulder healed.

In earnest, he could barely keep his hands to himself as they walked down the street to their friends' apartment. With his arm wrapped around her torso, Puck let his fingers graze near her breast.

"You're making it very difficult to want to go to dinner," she said, her voice bordering on a whine.

"That's kind of the point," he whispered huskily in her ear making her shiver.

"Come on. Let's give them a solid 2 hours and then I'm all yours," Rachel promised.

"Even if we're not done with desert you'd be ready to go?" he asked, eyebrow quirked questioningly. That was very anti-Rachel behavior and thus shocked the shit out of him. Not that he was complaining…

Rachel stopped him on the sidewalk and guaranteed her promise with a sultry kiss.

"Set your timer once we get inside," she said and started walking towards Quinn and Finn's once again.

"Fuck," he muttered. As much as he cared for his friends, they were a total cockblock at the current point in time.

It didn't help that Quinn and Finn were super excited to have them over, particularly Quinn since she was on maternity leave with limited things to keep her occupied during the day. Of course, the women went into the kitchen and he followed Finn to the living room where a college baseball game was on the flat screen.

Rachel watched Puck over the countertop that separated the two rooms, bringing her wine glass to her lips with a smile. It was amazing seeing him laugh and smile with his friend, especially with the surgery looming over his head.

"What's with you?" Quinn asked, closing the oven where her chicken cooked and catching Rachel, very blissful in her gaze of her boyfriend. Her question caused Rachel to blush and she mumbled an answer that Quinn didn't quite catch. "Excuse me?"

Rachel glared at her friend and repeated herself. "Noah and I finally slept together and now I can't stop thinking about _it,_" the brunette answered the last word in her sentence referencing the dirty deed.

"You dirty girl," Quinn teased throwing a balled up dish rag at her, which Rachel deftly swatted away. The two girls fell into a heap of giggles before Quinn confided her extremely jealously. "I miss sex," she complained aloud. "Finn's basically done everything but wrap me in bubble wrap. Sex is out of the question despite me being ready to go every minute of every day."

"Yikes," Rachel said not really sure how Quinn was surviving. She had just gotten used to the amazing feeling of Noah's hard body under her hands that it would unimaginable to relinquish that anytime soon.

"Pity me, Rach," Quinn joked. "Sex life gone, body shot…again and soon my life is going to revolve around this little person 24/7."

Rachel put a hand on Quinn's ever expanding bump and gave Quinn a look that did not read an ounce of pity.

"You're lucky. I'd kill to have all you do."

Quinn could see Puck staring adoringly at Rachel out of the corner of her eye and the blonde had the distinct feeling that she was not going to be without "everything" for very much longer. But rather than harp on the "just hang on" speech that Quinn had given her friend way too many times while she had dated Noah Puckerman, so instead she pulled her into the den.

"We should ask them now," she informed her husband and Finn nodded swallowing his beer. He stood up and lovingly put an arm around Quinn's waist.

"You two mean so much to us," Quinn started, "and it utterly killed us to see the two of you separate and suffering."

"Hon," Finn interrupted seeing her going off on a tangent, "Bringing it back to the original point, we'd like to ask you both to be the baby's godparents."

Rachel's eyes welled with tears at her friends offering her the position as godmother to the baby. She got up off the couch and hugged her friends, the happy tears spilling down her cheeks.

"What about your sister?" Rachel asked rubbing her hand over Quinn's pregnant stomach gently. Rachel didn't want the offer to be taken away but at the same time, she did not want to cause any unnecessary issues with Quinn's elder sister,

"She's got enough on her plate right now since Caleb was born," Quinn responded referring to her newest nephew and the latest addition to the growing brood of Fabray grandchildren to Quinn's parents, Russell and Judy. "Thus, you wear the crown."

Rachel smiled broadly and hugged Quinn again. The trio turned to look at Puck who hadn't really reacted to the offer for him to be godfather. In truth, he had been thinking it was kind of morbid to even think of Quinn and Finn needing guardians for the baby and hadn't given much thought to his response.

"What do you say man?" Finn asked, looking hopeful that Puck would accept the position. Looking to Rachel, he could see that she too was sporting a look of optimism that he would take on the role of godfather.

Puck stood and shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Sure thing man," Puck answered with a confident nod.

Finn grinned broadly and the two shared a hug, the four celebrating the fast approaching birth of baby Hudson.

* * *

"Aviva!" Rachel shouted when she saw the familiar face of Noah's mother emerge from collecting her belongings at baggage claim at JFK. A smile spread across the older woman's face as she spotted Rachel and Quinn waiting for her.

Aviva released the handle of her carry on and quickly enveloped the brunette in a tight hug and gently also gave Quinn a squeeze, minding her ever expanding belly.

"I'm going to assume that since my son is not present and accounted for that he was pulled away for something very important," Aviva said. It certainly was a surprise to find the diminutive brunette Broadway star present to pick her up for her purely business visit to New York seeing as her son needed shoulder surgery and would need help around his apartment while he recuperated. But her presence built hope that her stupid son had finally realized that instead of pushing Rachel away, it was her that he needed most by his side.

"I'm the guilty one," Quinn admitted, "He and my husband are putting together the furniture for the nursery. Unfortunately I had to threaten them both with bodily harm to get it done since they've promised me to do it the past three Sundays that it would get done."

"We didn't mind coming to get you," Rachel added with a genuine smile.

Rachel grabbed Aviva's bag and they women headed out of the air-conditioned airport and into the sticky weather of a New York summer. A cab pulled to where the three women stood and the driver stowed the suitcase in the trunk. Giving the driver Quinn's address in Manhattan, the car headed towards the Van Wyck Expressway and merged into the traffic that would lead them back home. Even with traffic, the conversation stayed constant as the yellow cab brought them closer to the Hudson apartment so that Aviva could see her son and could rest after traveling.

The three women could hear swearing as soon as they walked into the front door of the apartment and Rachel had to stifle a laugh at the sight when the women poked their heads into the yellow painted nursery. It was like a scene out of a sitcom. Puck was holding multiple pieces of what looked like a crib and Finn's forehead was crinkled in concentration as he attempted to understand the directions. But from the looks of it, he was having trouble even finding the English directions on the page that had multiple lingual options.

"Great progress guys," Quinn said, a giggle on the tail end of her comment. She wasn't trying to be sarcastic but since they had left them an hour and half ago to grab lunch and then retrieve Puck's mother, the already assembled furniture had been moved in but the crib was definitely still lacking pieces.

"Shut it Fabray," Puck retorted not even noticing his mother was present. He was seconds away from ripping directions out of Finn's hands and calling a professional to do this crap. He knew that it was the man's duty to do this while the women pushed the kid out, but seeing as this was neither his wife nor kid his willingness to help was quickly dwindling.

"Noah Puckerman," Aviva said sternly and as quickly as he had snapped at quickly he was on his feet, apologizing to Quinn and gathering his mother in a big hug. "That's more like it," Aviva conceded.

The older woman took out her reading glasses and aimed to help the boys – seeing as she had owned a crib or two in her lifetime, there was no reason that she couldn't help facilitate the process. It seemed like with the assistance of Mrs. Puckerman, the crib came together in know time and Quinn was tearing up at the sight.

"Now, is there any reason that you sent these two poor girls out to get your mother? I am perfectly capable of getting into a cab and making it to an address given the chance."

Puck could already feel that no matter what he said that this was not going to end in his favor. Unless he pulled out the big guns of giving her the good news about him and Rachel, even if he had wanted to save it until dinner that night.

"But ma, I wanted my girlfriend to pick you up," Puck told Aviva, stressing the label that he used for Rachel. Aviva's eyes widened and that's when the unholy shrieking began.

"Oh my God! That is wonderful news!" Noah's mother replied squishing Rachel's face in her hands and kissing the girl on the forehead. "About damn time that the two of you realized that you needed each other."

With Aviva's permanent grin intact, Puck snagged Rachel around the waist and kissed her cheek. And although he wanted nothing more than to hole up in an apartment with her for a few days, duty called and that included updating his mom on everything that had been going on and doing that in private. He was going to get his mom checked into her hotel before the two of them went to dinner to catch up. But before heading out the door, Rachel demanded that he come over after dinner.

"That's an order soldier," she teased lightly and was pleased when he smiled.

"Yes ma'm," he responded.

Dinner was easy with just the two of them. His mother updated him on how her job at the hospital was going and how Sarah was doing, finishing her freshman year of high school. And although Aviva already knew about the surgery, she wanted all the information.

"I'm just not happy that they didn't discover this until now, Noah," his mother lamented picking at her salad.

"Sucks, I know but I'm glad they caught it at all," Puck answered her as he took a sip of his beer. "I just don't know what I should do after the surgery."

"How does Rachel play into that decision?" his mother questioned. Although Aviva was ecstatic that the two of them were back together, she was worried what lay ahead for the two of them. Just because they were together didn't mean that they had conquered any of their issues from their first time together.

"That's one of the questions I have. That and what am I actually good at? I've been a soldier since high school."

"And I'm proud of you Noah…you've become a honorable man even without one in the house but now I'm going to play the protective mother. I don't want you to go back over there. There has to be something that you can pursue other than the military – you can also go to school, the military owes you that much."

He nodded his understanding but they moved to other topics as the waiter brought them their dinners and they talked while enjoying the rest of their meal. Puck nearly had to wrestle the bill jacket from his mother's hand after she demanded that she should pay.

"Ma, seriously, let it go," he said and she finally smirked and followed his instruction.

It wasn't until they were done with dinner and he was going to head to Rachel's that his mother handed him the envelope. Rachel had sent him a text that she was home after staying with Quinn and Finn for dinner, and planned on taking a long bath before heading to sleep but there was no way that she could sleep without him. He didn't mind that he was something that so relaxed her that she needed him by her side.

"What's this?" he asked, running his finger under the seal immediately when he saw it was a letter from the government.

"It was delivered to the house. I guess that's still listed as your most recent address with them," Aviva responded, biting her bottom lip in anticipation. The letter's presence in her house had been killing her and the only reason that she hadn't simply forwarded the letter to him in New York was because she was worried it was orders for him to return to wherever he had been fighting. She wanted to be present when he opened it to fight the request.

He nodded his head as he pulled the paper out of the envelope and scanned the words.

_Dear Major Puckerman, _

_Each year, a member of our nation's Armed Forces is named as the recipient of the Medal of Honor __for conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his or her life above and beyond the call of duty while engaged in an action against an enemy of the United States.__ Although in recent history there have only been four living recipients of this award, I am pleased and honored to inform you will be known as the fifth recipient. This year, you have been chosen as the Medal of Honor. Your name came across my desk with high commendation from your supervising officers and colleagues. _

_Your actions in the battle against insurgents prevented the complete loss of American lives in your unit. With a level head and quick determination, you single handedly saved the lives of Private Cole Berger and Staff Sergeant Tyler North. Additionally, you prevented insurgents from destroying what progress we had made with your unit in Afghanistan. _

_Although a formal invitation will come in the mail for the ceremony, I wanted to take the time to formally thank you for your service in the United States Armed Forces and congratulate you on this highest honor. _

_Sincerely, _

_President Brian McNamara_

Upon reading the end of the letter, Puck honestly felt like puking up the $18 hamburger that he had just eaten with his mother. To be honored for his role in the battle that had injured him and killed others was astonishing.

"What is it?" his mother asked but Puck was not ready to share the information with her. He shook his head that he was not ready to share and she nearly got a murderous look on her face. "Just tell me that they're not sending you back."

"No, nothing like that."

"Okay, anything else…I can deal with I suppose."

He shoved the letter into his back pocket. "I've gotta to talk to Rachel first and then I'll tell you. Just give me that okay?"

With a sigh, his mother agreed and kissed her son on the cheek. "If you need to talk please don't feel like you can't." Puck nodded and watched her go inside the hotel before he started to walk towards Rachel's place.

It weighed heavily on his mind as the streets seemed to go by him in a blur. An honor seemed more like a curse when it had left Bobby Whalen's four year old son and newborn baby girl without their dad, leaving his wife a military widow and alone to raise the kids. It felt like a curse that Ryan O'Connor's parents had to receive a pine box instead of their son home, ready to celebrate another holiday with them.

Before he knew it, he was nodding at the building's night shift doorman and heading up to Rachel's door. His girlfriend opened up, smile bright, her long locks pulled into a messy bun and a criminally short navy robe that he would normally be thinking about how to get her out of.

"Hey you," she said greeting him. He put his thoughts aside and pasted on a smile prior to giving her a kiss. "How was dinner?"

"Great, thanks for the recommendation of Hillstone. Mom really enjoyed," puck answered truthfully. Dinner had been good until he had opened the letter. "Sarah is finishing freshman year. Mom said she's not giving Schue heart attacks like I used to but she's enjoying glee club."

Rachel smiled as she fondly recalled her own time in New Directions. She grabbed his hand, humming a song from glee club many many years ago. But he really couldn't hold it in anymore. He needed her to know.

"Rach, I need to talk to you."

She turned to him eyes full of concern. "What's wrong?"

Puck sighed and taking the envelope out of his back pocket, he gave it to her. She didn't proceed to open it, pretty much staring at the envelope with the government seal in horror.

"I can't," she said softly, "I can't open this and find out you're being called for another tour. I won't…I can't survive that."

"It's not about that," he reassured," I wish I could explain it but you just need to read."

Rachel nodded her belief in his statement and pulled the paper from the envelope. Her eyes scanned the paper and Puck found it fascinating to watch the emotions play out on her face.

"Noah," she said hoarsely, the tears clogging her throat. "This is a huge honor. Huge."

"I'm not a hero. I shouldn't…I should don't be getting a fucking medal when I lost friends and my career and because our President who has never seen combat like I have thinks I need to be celebrated."

Rachel could see how much he was suffering with this news, but she could honestly understand. To be honored in such a manner was a double-edged sword and Rachel was really sure how…what to say to make it all better.

"Come with me," she urged softly and he did as she asked, following her into the bathroom. Rachel filled the tub with warm, sudsy water and eliminated all the lights except for several candles that provided soft light to the room.

"Clothes off," she instructed gently.

Puck knew that this wasn't about sex but rather about comfort and for the first time in the long time, he was glad he listened to his gut about needing to share this with Rachel first. She may not have the magic words to make this disappear but she knew exactly how to ease his turmoil. He stripped down and got into the tub, all while

watching Rachel retrieve clean washcloth and take a seat next to the tub. Running the cloth under the faucet, she placed it on the back of his neck and let the warm water run down his back.

"I can't pretend to know what you've been through," she said as she put some soap on the washcloth and washed him gently. "But I'm glad you could come to me."

"Couldn't even tell my mom, " he muttered, closing his eyes and reveling in Rachel's touch.

"Noah, you shouldn't be ashamed of this. Maybe you should call Cole tomorrow and talk it over with someone who has been through at least something similar."

Puck had had that thought in the back of his mind but with Cole planning a wedding, he had been hesitant to bother him with unnecessary crap.

"Yeah, maybe I will," he answered still distracted. Rachel cupped his cheek, still concerned for where his head was.

"Is there anything else I can do?" she asked generally wanting to help her boyfriend. He was too quiet for his own good and he didn't give her anything to go on. So she did what she thought might allow them to relax together. She untied the knot at her waist and carefully stepped into the tub in front of him. He helped her down so that she was sitting with him, her back pressed to his chest.

"I hate seeing you so upset," Rachel said softly pressing a kiss to his wet palm. She was being honest and she just hoped that he could see her trying to do everything that she could.

The kiss brought him out of his trance and he focused on the girl that was with him. Puck could feel how anxious she was and knew that he needed to let her know how much her being there was helping.

"You being here," he replied, "That's enough."

Rachel nodded and remained quiet, knowing that if he wanted to talk more about it that he would. She just had to be patient and available to him.

* * *

**A/N**: I just want to thank everyone who's stuck with this story even though my updates are less than regular. Life tends to get in the way of regular writing time which is stinks but I appreciate you reading wholeheartedly.

As to what happened in this chapter, please know that I did as much research as I could with regards to the Medal of Honor. I'm not a military guru but I do what I can as it comes to research. The firefight that Puck's unit encountered and his saving of several guys was based off of Salvatore Giunta who received the medal of honor in 2010, but it had my own little twist to keep it my own. Of course, since it's story and not reality I just ask that you go with it and trust me.

Thanks for reading!


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